Just wanted to share with people who would understand

Aloha Everyone,
I've been lurking the boards for a while now and love reading everyone's stories.  I'm still pre-op waiting to change my insurance from Kaiser to HMSA before I can do anything.
I wanted to share my horrible experience I had today with people who could relate instead of people looking at me like I'm exaggerating.  I had to do some shopping at Walmart and the mall today. I went to Ross's and walked leasurely around for about 30min, then went into Sears and spent about an hour in there.  By the time i was ready to leave Sears my legs and feet were hurting so bad! I couldn't beleive it.  I've never felt this badly so quickly! I walked to Zippy's to pick up some lunch and headed to the car. Once I got to the car, I felt like such an OLD lady, walking so slowly feeling the pain with every step I took. As this wasn't bad enough, I have an SUV and when I tried to lift my leg to get in the car, I had to pull my leg up by pulling my pants to lift my legs high enough to get in. I wanted to cry. But, instead, I ended up sitting in my car and ate.  I am sooooo disgusted with myself for letting the weight take control of my entire life. I need this surgery and I know it's just a few months away, but, at that very moment, it felt years away.   I know this will pass and I'll pu**** to the back of mind tomorrow.  Thanks in advance for listening to me vent.
viki

Aloha Vicki - E Komo Mai!
Yes, we do understand. I am quite sure every one of us here has felt what you felt today and I am sorry for your pain. There is a light at the end of that proverbial tunnel. Have patience and know that someday your suffering can and will end.
I think moments like that are the moments that build our strength when we finally decide we have had enough and need to take control to get our lives back... along with our health and happiness.
You're at the start of your journey. The road isn't always easy, but with the right tools, you will be happy with yourself and life. You don't necessarily need to push this memory to the back of your mind, but instead, use it to fuel your energy to keep you going. It will be a wonderful journey. Stay positive!!
((hugs))
Malama pono

Listen to Makena she knows what she is talking about. 

When I was pre-op I was getting so depressed about myself and the way I looked.  I was still able to walk around and play with my children however I was so discussed with myself.  I didn't even want my husband looking at me.  At three weeks out I am starting to see the difference not a big difference but a difference not only in the way I look but the way I act.  I am loving that I can excercise a bit more.  I have lost a total of 23 lbs in three weeks.  I am actually glowing and for the first time I am not pregnant while doing it. 

It really feels good to be able to love yourself.  Viki if you want it that bad you will get it.  HMSA is a great medical.  I am not sure who your surgeon will be but Dr. Fowler is awesome with HMSA. 

Good Luck,
Asia

we understand totally!  PPl whoi have not been thru teh weight struggle do not  understand at ALL!! anyways i wish u luck in all that u do! 

I knew you all would understand.  Thank you all sooooo much for your encouragement.  I've already gone to the seminar with Dr. Fowler and am going to go with him for the surgery.  I'm looking forward to the new year to get things on a roll.  Like Makena said, I'm going to use this experience as fuel to keep me going with a vengeance!  I can't wait to start feeling better about myself and being able to do things so many people take for granted.
Bless you All!

((group hug))

Yes group hug

  I totally feel the love.  You guys are the BEST!