Deeply ashamed 1 year 4 days out

Today I had to go to see my Dr for my 1 year follow up. I have not been doing what I should and I have paid for it with a rather large butt chewing this morning. I have been self distructing for the past several months and got my ass handed to me for my efforts or the lack of. I gained 5 lbs but the worst was gaining considerable fat mass and losing muscle mass. I feel real like a failure because I know better. So starting today I am getting back on track. I have been given an appt next month on the 12th with strict orders to be down 15 lbs. I guess I'll brush the dust off the gazzelle and start using it like I am supposed to be. Not to mention a major change in my diet. You all are my extended family and I will be leaning on you as I correct my lifestyle. I didn't have this surgery to fail and I refuse to do so.

I'm confused...how much did you lose altogether?

I was 420 preop and am as of today 315. Yes it a loss of 105 but a gain of 5 of five is not the direction I should be going in. The lack of muscle mass is what got me into so much trouble. It just shows that I have been slacking.

We're here for ya Marty. Actually, I think I will go on this month long party WITH you. I'm frustrated with myself as well. I am going to get back to the gym this month and see what that does for me. On the 12th, I'll see where I am as well. Let's keep tabs each week....

I'm stopping at the store on the way home to get the things I need to eat correctly. No more processed food at all for me. Fruits, veggies and lean meatsand protein. Back on vitamins in the morning. Yes I expect another ass chewing when the bloodwork gets back.

Just to let you know.... I am TRULY on board with ya. I have been a pretty good girl this morning and I am going walking at lunch. Protein shake this afternoon, and water water water water. I'll lean on you and you lean on me... deal? (AND NO PERVERT RESPONSE HERE MR. P-I-G! ) LUV YA!! LOL!

P.I.G = Person Interested in Girls. Yep thats me. I've been a lesbian all my life. I'm also an active member of the FBI Female Body Inspectors.

I'm here for you man. I have had this fear from day one. Almost asking myself when I will start regaining instead of if I regain. Step up on the protein again, it helps for me. Good luck and keep us posted. George BTW how did you find out that you lost muscle mass?

Marty - we are your family here through good times and bad.... NO WORRIES...we will hold you accountable. I think we all need a reality check sometimes as it is. I'm almost 2 years out and can eat NON STOP anything I put in front of me within a few hours. (Some things take longer than others....) If there is anything we can do to help you get back on track let us know! Dee Dee

Thanks Dee Dee I may just need your help.