O/T This is great!!!

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnaper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!". 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22-foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guy jumped in he water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer! Dawn

OMG girl this made me laugh so hard, and it hurts so much to laugh b/c i just had surgery... but it made me smile for sure.. jen

PRICELESS!!! I'm not alone in this world!!! I REALLY needed this. Bad: I hit a deer on the way to world yesterday...I was in the Jag that we were thinking about buying from my dad. Of course! Worse: The deer didn't die right away. It was horrible! It took two officers. "Ma'am, please remove the coat from the deer." "Ma'am, please get behind your vehicle." "Do you know how to shot it?" "Yeah!" "Is it dead?" "Ma'am, please get behind your vehicle one more time." "Ma'am, you can say you got a buck." WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Thankfully, I know it could have been worse....but not for the deer! Hugs, Becky

Remove the coat from the deer? OMG! That is a riot! BTW I was talking to James about your Jag....did you know that is my dream car? Since I was 10 yrs old I have wanted a black Jag. I will get one....one of these days! Glad you are ok! HUgs, Tonya

Hay Becky, Sorry about the reck, but glad your O.K. . Dawn

That is just too funny! Thanks for the laugh! Kim

wel Kim get it WEL KIM OK I know I'm a dork Dawn