Have Any of You....

Have any of you ever got the feeling that someone in your family would do anything to keep you from having WLS. My mom, everytime I talk to her, she makes me feel like she don't want me to have surgery. My surgery is Dec 17th...she told me that I was going to mess up everyones Christmas....it is always something. I just got off of the phone with her and now she can't cook so I will have to cook 1/3 of the dinner for about 15, my brother gets 1/3 and my sister gets 1/3. She got down right mad at me for saying that I will not be able to cook dinner for 15 ...4 days out of the hospital. I could just cry Thanks for letting me get this out. Martha

Martha, I wish I was there to give you a hug! You will have to do what you think is best but if it was me (and this is just my opinion) I would tell her that I intent to have the surgery because I want to live longer. I want a fuller life. Your brother and sister can take up the slack. Don't let her make you feel guilty for wanting better for yourself. You are not messing up Christmas for anyone. If it gets messed up, then they are the ones doing it, not you. The real reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ. There are other ways to celebrate it besides with food. It should be celebrated with life and that is what you are giving yourself. A better chance at life. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It is stressful enough having the surgery without people trying to make you feel guilty. I know for a fact that this family here on OH are behind you 100%. You have all my numbers so just call me if there is anything I can to to help you feel better. Stand up for yourself my dear friend. I want you around for a long time to come. Hugs and Love, Debra =^..^=

God bless you, Debra, for your words...I could not have expressed it any better. Martha, I totally agree with what Debra has written here. I was about to post pretty much the same thing until I scrolled down thru the responses to your post, and Debra sums it all up! Please stand up for yourself to your family! They know you love them, and I am sure they love you..even it does not seem like it right now. If you do not feel like doing all that work..let the other siblings do it for you. The gang is not going to starve..there will be plenty of food! Take care of YOU...first and foremost! God love ya, girl! Pat

Pat, Thank you Martha

Thank you Debra

Hi, Martha, I am sure that your brother and sister can do your share. At four days out, you will NOT feel like cooking! Your mom may be a bit worried about you, and this is the way she handles it...by making you miserable. When she talks about you messing up everyone's Christmas, remind her that you are getting a present that you have been wanting and needing for a while. I don't know how old your mother is, but, from what I've read, there are times that senior citizens regress to childishness which can be manifested as selfishness. Either they feel satisfied with their lives or may become depressed. She may be worried about herself when she thinks about possibly losing you or having to do (like this instance) without you. She probably regrets saying hurtful things as soon as they come out of her mouth. Don't feel bad!!! You deserve to get something that you want for once!!! Hugs to you!!! Becky

Thank you Becky

Oh Martha, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. My Dad was not against my surgery but he wasn't really 'for' it either. I do understand that part of your situation. But I decided when I started researching this that for ONCE in my life I was going to be selfish. This surgery was for ME and me alone. I have spent all of my adult life taking care of my family or someone else and for once I decided they would have to do without me long enough to have the surgery and heal from it. You are right, you cannot cook for 15 that soon out of the hospital. Seems to me you need to call your brother and sister and talk to them about the situation and just explain that they are going to have to carry the load for this Christmas. Stand up for yourself girl....you are regaining your LIFE with this surgery. Surely one of them will understand! I'm here if you need to talk. Don't hesitate to call or email me!! Robin

Robin Thank you

Martha Please, Please don't get discouraged by how the family feels, I went through the same thing with mine, but remind yourself every day that you are doing this for "YOU." mine got over it, and so will yours, explain to mom, sister and brother just how imporant it is to you and you want be up to cooking that fast. (believe me you want be cooking) Melinda