Just had to share...

Ok so right now I'm just feeling good and wanted to share! Those of you who are post-op I can't stress enough how much it means to someone pre-op to be able to talk with you about your experiences. I know we have support boards to come to, but talking with someone and hearing how it makes them feel better, makes me all warm inside. I know call it corney or what have you, but I enjoy talking with pre-ops about surgery, and new post-ops. I had a friend the other day call me and she's like 20 days out, by the end of the phone call she went from all upset to feeling so much better. She told me I made her day and I was comforting. I got off the phone and just felt good about myself. Nothing makes me feel better than to have helped someone, it might be in the smallest way, but that one little thing means so much. The ones that saw me on MTV's True Life will understand what that one small thing can mean when I get that gift from my secret pal. So I challenge you, volunteer to be an angel to someone, it can mean so much, more than you may ever know to someone. Sign some surgery pages here and there. One gentle word or email can help someone and brighten their day! Oh and in the process of helping you gain a friend Amy 615/570/420/Healthy (-195lbs)

I know exactly what you mean AMy. I guess that is why I help so many when I can, or when given the opportunity. When I say if you need me, I mean any time, any way I can. I don't care if it is 2 in the morning. I am here to help one and all that need me. Even if I don't know you yet, I love and care about each and everyone in this group. Hugs, Debra =^..^=

Okay, so all **poo poo** aside, and not trying to start a problem.... Gotta question for ya: What happens when you take this big ol' generous heart and put it on the line and some lovely soul comes along with a butcher knife and chops it to shreads?? And I am serious. The holidays are coming up (family fun for me, not not not) and I really want to know how you handle being so caring and so giving when it hurts like H-E- double hockey sticks? I post here to have fun and to relieve some of the stressors in my life. Occaisionally, if I happen to spot a post that REALLY makes me think "sumptin's UP" (like unusual or someone just isn't writing like "themselves" ) I'll email folks , try to encourage them, even more important to me I might email someone who I think can help and make an anonymous (by email) reference. Like if a newbie posts about "what to eat" and I have read an old timer for a long time who knows "what to eat" I might email the old timer personally and let them know about the post and ask them if they could please respond.... So I am not heartless or without compassion.....but I don't reach out like I used to...I just don't because sometimes helping folks just isn't worth it "OUCH"! So, whadda think? Again, it is a sincere question, not trying to cause trouble, really want to know...... D.

NOPE. See? When I am bothered I don't type well. Still can't "get out" what I mean, it is an open post, I'll take a solution anywhere I can find it....what I meant was that the original question from me was directed to the two women who love to give....Amy and 7cats2dogs....But if someone else out there has an answer I will take it. D.

Well let me tell you a little story. I was on another site (I'm still on it) and this time last year some rather means things were being posted about me. I could have said I'm not going to do this anymore and left OR do what I did and continued going back. Personally I've never found anyone not worth helping. I feel even more so about these sites that I'm on now. There are so many very caring and "for real" people. Maybe I'm getting of subject. I've been hurt in the past from "friends", but guess what when you finally give up trying to find friendship that's when you end up like I did. I was all alone, only my husband. Sure I was happy with my husband, but I was missing something. I was missing out on other friendships. I finally realized when I reached down within my self and noticed a pattern. I had pushed those friends away. We all take a chance in helping others, you might get stabbed in the back, but I'm not going to stop because of one "bad apple" I hope this makes sense. NEVER be afraid to be who you are, I missed out on sooooo much not being me, hiding, wanting and waiting. You got to get out and do something to make it happen. Amy

I like your story. Mostly cause I know it's true. Because you are always so honest. I appreciate in your life that you have never found anyone not worth helping. That has not been my experience. I have wasted time on folks who don't really WANT to change. I have stopped trying to find friendship that nail wa**** directly on the head. Way to get to the point. I am alone, only my husband but I do not have the confidence to "get back out there". Maybe I am not missing the something badly enough. I am referring to how one has to hit bottom and such.....now, I do have "friends" surface level acquaintances at church, and now that I am working at the preschool, I have co workers, I am not completely isolated. But I do not make an effort like I know I can either. I have pushed people away, in fact, I know that I have used my weight to keep people away, it is a great social barrier. I am afraid to be who I am. Absolutely. But you added "wanting" to your experience, see, I am not sure I want to go back out there again, especially this time of the year, the hershey's are lookin' good to me, so is everything else that isn't "red hot or nailed down". I am like The Monster who ate Georgia right now. I appreciate your experience. But I do not have your courage. Thanks for sharing though, you answered my question and that's what I asked for.....and it did make sense....I wish I could tell you I am going to try to change...but I love you too much to lie to you. I guess I am just not ready. D. D.

I wasn't ready either. It was not until I was at my lowest just how alone I really was. I have missed out on so much because I was to busy thinking for other people. It's like going to the last Georgia gathering, that was so hard for me to do, but guess what when it was all over, I was so happy I went. I met people that were so kind and warm. I met people that know and understand completely what I've been thru cause most of them had been thru it too. I'm not just talking about the surgery either. I'm talking about this demon we are all fighting...Obesity.... You can never know what you are really missing until you try it. I will pray you will come out of your shell. I know it's hard. these 4 walls are very protective, I didn't have to leave them and they didn't hurt me. Actually it did hurt me, it made me push people away even more so, it made me use excuses. Just like being this size makes excuses easy to make. Once you are ready you will know, but please consider coming to the next meeting, you would feel at home. I just know it, those that support you lift you up, so let them help lift you. Amy

I want to respond to thank you for the invitation. Saturday nights are a bit of a problem for us because my hubby works late Saturdays and I don't have a sitter. That is honestly the first reason. The second reason is because going to one of the meetings actually makes me feel a little nauseous. I mean, here, I am safe, I can type, I am a good writer, people enjoy my sense of humor and my LOVE of controversy. But in person, I am shy, quiet (hard to believe, huh?) and I ALWAYS manage to say EXACTLY the WRONG thing! I am just a big wad of social mess with my feet in my mouth. I swear it's true. But, I'll tell you this much, honestly, really and truly, I will think about getting a sitter and telling DH to come home to an empty house one night (it won't kill him) and driving to Conyers. I will think about it. But I probably won't go....not trying to be hateful.....just honest. But I will think about it. I really will. D.

Dondi, If you were not so secretive we would all come kid nap you!! I do hope to meet you one day and I do hope we can talk some time. I'm only an email away, I can't ever email you cause of your email Well you do know where I am. By the way, your shy pfttt.. you haven't met me yet. I'm shy for the most part too, but that group really opened me up, they do that to you. Amy

Same question as below, I'll come back and check it. D.