Ten Weeks Out, Depressed and Need Encouragement

Hey Family, I woke up this morning and I am really really depressed. I REALLY need to be uplifted- I have been depressed all weekend and can't get out of the funk. As you guys know, I have been having a really rough time with my recovery from the RNY in regards to my eating (or lack there of) I got deathly ill Saturday afternoon, and for 4 hours straight. Since then, I have been unable to really eat anything. . I do not want to go on an eating binge, but I can not imagine not being able to eat meat again, or just anything other than refried beans, cheesy potatoes, pork rinds or cheese its. ON good days I can eat a small piece of quishe or an egg. And if I am really lucky 4 shrimp. I want to be able to eat small portions of regular food. I feel like its never gonna happen and I am very upset. I told my DH that I can not imagine living the rest of my life like this . I really can not. This is like being pregnant (I threw up all nine months all day with both pregnancies) except there is no baby at the end of nine months. Yes I am minus 53 pounds as of today, but even the joy of this is outweghed by the constant illness associated with this process. I need to be uplifted right now because right now I am not feeling this surgery- I am depressed and not a happy camper. Thanks, Denise

Denise, I went through a similar situation. I had to re-evaluate HOW and WHAT I was eating. I had to make myself slow down (if you can imagine it....) plus I had to watch what it was that was making me sick. I've overcome it for the most part - but I still have my moments. (I still can't stomach chicken....and I do so miss chicken.) It gets better - I promise. It may not seem like it now but it does. Keep your head up and remember you had stomach surgery - not brain surgery. You have to make the mental change yourself! Dee Dee

Dee Dee, It is not a matter of eating fast. I can drink water and throw up. Its a matter of my pouch being so finicky that after one spoon (I use a baby spoon) of anything other than the things I mentioned, it comes up with a vengence. I hope that over time it will stop. If not, I am not sure how I will be. Thanks for your insight. Denise

Oh Denise I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Do you know why you got so sick Saturday? You should be eating "more normal" by now. How about going back to the dietician and see if she can help some. Because you do need some help!!!!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Marrilee open RNY 9/30/04 Dr Appel

Marilee, I have been back to the office three times, and had testing to see if there is an issue. Dr. Steinburg told me he believes this is the way I am processing the GB. I saw him a week and a half ago. He told me he thinks that this is something I am going to have to deal with and hopefully it will go away. As for what I did Saturday? I sat outside at my sons football game. Got in the car and felt like I was going to throw up- and I did and continued to do so for 4 hours. I did not eat anything, so it nothing provoked the response. It is frustrating, and normally I can handle it, but I have not had a "normal" experience since I had the surgery. The dietician is not going to be able to help me, basically, nothing stays in except for the items I mentioned. Believe me, I have tried. Thanks for the Hug Denise

Denise, I feel so sorry for you and so helpless. We got to be able to find out something to improve the situation. Have you posted this on the main message board. Maybe expanding the audience will find someone who has this problem or has a solution. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{maga hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Marrilee

No I don't do the main board Marrilee. Some of those folks are very insensitive and very opinionated- But thanks for the suggestion. I think this will eventually go away, I was just feelig a bit down and out. I will be just fine. Denise

Hi Denise. I'm sorry to hear you're feelin' so down. I totally understand. It hit me about 2 weeks ago, but I've come out of it, having had a great week last week...well, for me, it felt great. I didn't throw up once in the last 5-7 days. I'm ten weeks out as of today, btw. I had told my husband that I didn't mind eating small portions...I just wanted to be able to EAT. It's sooo NOT fun to sit down and think "Wow, this is gonna be good" and then after the 2nd bite think..."Oh, sheesh, this isn't going down, AGAIN!" I can only say, Hang in there, hon. Everyone's body is different, based on all the things I've read. I had eggs on Sun for breakfast and for some reason they just didn't sit right. I didn't barf, but I've had this weird feeling in my gut since then. Other times Ive made it fine with eggs. It seems to me...FOR ME....pork has gone down and been the more manageable meat for me to try. I've nibbled on baked ham....Sat. had the most scrumptious ribs at Houston's. Course I brought over half home and had them last night again. It's just a trial and error thing. I truly can feel your frustration. It's so hard to NOT get depressed when you have anything that just stays with you for so long. I truly believe this will pass for you. I'll whisper a prayer for you this morning. Remember...others are going through the same thing. I hope that knowledge, in itself is helpful. Hang in there, g/f. Hugs, Joyce Robbins P.S. You've lost MORE than me!...only 48 for me so far.

Yes Joyce exactly, The small portions are not an issue for me- Just give me some real food with variety! I am praying it goes away REAL SOON! Congrats on your 48- that is not in any way anything to be ashamed of! Keep up the great work! Denise

Please hang in there...it will get better. Your stomach is just ultra sensitive right now. Have they checked for a stricture? If you're not keeping anything down they usually check for this. The remedy is very simple to correct if this is the case. You may ask your doctor to check for this. Just a suggestion. Phyllis