Yikes!!! I'm panicking about my weight loss....

or lack of weight loss. It's not just not the losing weight either. I'm depressed and eating!!! Talk about not changing my habits??? It scares the crud out of me. I know what I'm doing when I eat wrong and feel very guilty when I've done this but at the same time, this has been what I've used in the past to soothe what ailes me. I have the tool to keep my weight under control but lack the "stick-to-it" attitude. I guess that's why I failed so bad at diets. My husband and I were talking the other day about the weight loss and he said some things that I guess affected me more than I thought. He stated that if I had not had the surgery, he wouldn't have left me now. But, if I hadn't done something before the boys were grown and gone that he probably would not have stuck around. He stated he felt like he had lost his best friend...I didn't do things with him anymore. He was right but I guess I'm hurt...depressed. The way I have dealt with that previously is by eating and retreating. My husband loves me very much and would never intentionally hurt me. He's been a great supporter for me during this time. It's really my issue I guess. Part of my problem is when I feel someone pushing me one way...I push against it as hard as I can. Saying that he would have left me after the boys were gone not only depressed me but somehow made me want to eat, as if this would make him prove that he still loved me even if I gained the weight. Has anyone else felt like they were sabotaging themselves and not sure how to stop? Wow...I know that's a loaded question. Any input would be appreciated. Phyllis

Phyllis, I think (speaking for myself) that we all still have a lot of issues with food that we will always have to fight. Even though we have had the support of husbands and friends, food has always been there at any time no matter what. It will be hard to readjust our minds and thoughts to the fact that we need to eat to live, not live to eat. I struggle with these ideas everyday. I wish there was some magic word to put an end to our struggles but then I guess an easy battle wouldn't accomplish anything. We can all work this out together as long as we have each others support. I thank God for the day I found this group! Because people can say they will help you, but unless they know what the struggle is like, they have no idea what to do. I hope this makes sense. I am here if you need me, as I am sure everyone else is. Just let me know and I will do what I can. God Bless You All , Debra

Phyllis, I am two years post op. I struggle with food EVERY DAY. It is my best friend and my worst enemy. There are days that I win my struggle, and then there are days that I snack all day. I have Dr. Phil'ed myself to death for why I do what I do, but still haven't found the answer. I don't have any magic words of wisdom for you, I wish that I did, but what I can say, is that I have still managed to lose the weight, and I have a pretty good feeling that you will too. Cathy Martin

Phyllis I still deal with this ...and actually this week has been the worst ....When i am sick i am the reverse of everyone and i ussually can still eat and i always end up eating tons since all you are doing is laying around and all ..and this week with me being sick has been bad ...but i just tell myself that i have to work on it and i am eating less that i ever did before and still better than i was before (now i chow on crackers ) so i mean i think it is just a on going thing but at least we know we are doing it and we need to work on it ...that is the first step ...now if it takes the rest of our lives then that is fine but we will work on it in our own ways and in our own time ..!!!!! no one is prefect !!!!!! and you will make it with flying colors !!!! Laura

Phyllis, I know what mean about seeking comfort in our old friend- food. I think most of us here do struggle with that. So know that you are not alone. AS for Matt's comment.... I KNOW that Matt loves you very much and would never say or do anything to hurt you. I know hearing those words from his mouth were hard and sometimes the harsh reality is that the truth does hurt. Phyllis, I happen to know that you and Matt are truly bestfriends. I also happen to know that at your heighest weight you were not able to particpate in life. I know that was hard on you, but it was also hard for Matt. I know that he enjoys the fact that now you are now able to be a participant in your own life, his and the boys. That's gotta make all of you feel much better. Right now you can't afford mentally or physically to dwell on his comment. He wouldn't want you to and there is no need to. You will never be that weight again and so there is no need to worry. You need to lean forward and concentrate on the present and look forward to a future full of health and happiness with the man that truly does love you. You are going to have to take those comments at face value, remove yourself from them and let that be even more encouragement to continue to do well. 102 lbs is nothing to sneeze at. You are more that half way to your goal. Don't let that monkey on your back hold you down. You have a tool to use, one that will be there for life. If you fall down, pick yourself back up and keep going. I am always here when you need a friend, a ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Love ya gal, Tonya

Wow! What a great response. I need someone like you in my corner.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I know you're all right. I'm going to push through this and try not to take everything so seriously. I need to get a good comedy to watch tonight...need some laughter. Talk at you later. Phyllis