Friends getting WEIRD ????

Have any of you had a time with your friends getting strange on you since you have lost weight???? I have a good friend that I love dearly... she hates change.... she has been over weight for years , but is always looking good... you know the kind... wont go to the mailbox with out make up and hair done.... so not me..... anyway.... she is having a hard time with my weight loss and the fact that I am getting compliments... she likes to show me off to people and then point out... all of the things I hate... my hair thinning, my dimpled arms, my bat wings... .... she just laughs and thinks it is funny... she also thinks that I need to move on and leave the message board... your surgery is over and you need to get on with your life.... I try to laugh her off and ignore most of what she says and does but it is getting harder to do.... I know I am going to lose this friendship and it makes me sad... any Ideas about what I can do?

Kiwi I am sorry that your friend is getting weird on you. It sounds to me like she is hiding behind a mask of always trying so hard to look good. I wonder how truly unhappy with herself she is. Sounds to me like until your WLS she was in the limelight and now she is having to point out the little things that may embarrass or be hurtful to you about your appearance. (the sign of a truly unhappy person). As far as the message board goes, you need to tell her this is one mechanism you use to help stay grounded and on course with your WLS and with the help of having a sounding board you are moving on with your life. I think you should tell her that you need her support and do not need her support and not someone to continually judge your appearance. I suggest if she keeps up this attitude, that you do move on to a more positive relationship and that maybe what she is afraid of. Just my thoughts Carolyn

she's a toxic friend...deal with her in limited doses

Happened to me also. I have a few friends who are overweight and have avoided me since the surgery. It is a common problem. I have one overweight friend who is diabetic for 10 years and all three doctors warned her to lose weight and get off the insulin before she damages her heart and organs. She is out of breath whenever walking and she prefers to use a wheelchair. All 3 doctors recommended wls to her many times. She sees my progress and she still protects her right to eat whatever she wants. She very often puts down my surgery and lately her and another friend do not invite me to lunch with them anymore. If it becomes punishment for you to be around this woman then you should avoid her!!!

My two cents only...I would discuss it with her. Mention the next time she decides to show you "off" then make herself feel better by trying to embarss you by pointing out the "bad" ask her about it. Maybe she is doing it without realizing it. However, if she gets defensive and won't change then you have to decide if it is worth it to be "on show" whenever she is around. Sounds like she is jealous and unable to deal with the emotion she is feeling where you are concerned. Maybe she is afraid she will be left behind as you continue to change and get healthy. I will pray for you...Hugs, Theresa

I know we dont want to think that someone we care for will ever turn on us but it will happen. I've lost several "friends" since I've lost weight. I've also had relationships with family members change for the worse too. Friends who were supportive before surgery are now nowhere to be found. Lunch buddies have other plans and cant fit me into their schedules. Gee they must have forgot to tell me about that girls night out. But the kicker was a "friend" that I've had for over 20 years who had WLS about 8 or 9 years ago. She turned on me when she got skinny, she didnt want to be seen with me because I was so big. We didnt speak for years. Then out of the blue she called. She started to cry when I told her that I had WLS too. She has GAINED almost all of her weight back and has her co-morbs back plus some new ones. She will not talk to me anymore because she remembers the ugly things she said to me and she cant face the fact that the shoe is on the other foot. I'd never talk down to her like she did to me (I remember the sting of her words) but she was hoping I would still be her fat buddie just like before and now thats gone so we cant be friends anymore. Well.... That is their choice and has nothing to do with me. I've learned not to take it personal, TRUE FRIENDS will be by your side thur thick and thin. Talk to your friend, if she still keeps on acting the same way, then go the opposite direction. You deserve better than a fair weather friend. Take care Sidney