Update

i should have said it wasn't my husband. I didnt even think that someone would take it that way. My husband is great, he's very good to me. it's my oldest brother. he has been a drug addict since he was a teenager. he went to prison a few years ago, got out, has been off drugs and got married, had a couple of babies, and has been in a great job for years. he's back on drugs, hard drugs. Crack and coke, and god knows what else. We did so much to help him get well. We went through so much while he was battling his addiction, while he was feeding his addiction. I know it's an addiction and its easy for people to relapse, but it had been so long that we were sure he was going to be fine. he is stuck in a VERY unhappy marriage, and when things get bad for recovered addicts, they go EASILY go to their old ways. A guy at work introduced it to him, and he wasnt strong enough to say no. When he's tried to leave his wife, she takes off with the kids and refuses to let him see them. his kids are his life. They're the MAIN thing we think kept him so straight. She's ******g psycho. her first husband CAUGHT HIMSELF ON FIRE and jumped off a bridge to escape her, so says all of her family. She is so jealous of everything he does, including his 10 year old, who she treats like **** when he's around. She even went as far as calling the 10 years olds mom and telling her that Chris wasn't allowed to visit anymore because it took attention away from her. I can understand WHY he relapsed, but it doesnt make it okay. he's tried to leave her, but he misses his kids and he goes back. When i think of the things he put us through while on drugs.. stealing money from me money from my mom he broke into our house on chirstmas eve, and emptied the house out of presents and electronics (I was 10) and sold them to feed his addiction. He broke into my uncles house (who has always supported hm and been more of a father to us than anyone else has) and stole from him. he's stolen mine and my mom vehicles to go buy drugs. he stole my moms gun and sold it for drugs. there are so many other things There were times when we didnt know if he were alive or not because we hadnt heard from him for so long, and I used to go sit at the drug spots (my mom would do this too) at 4 and 5 in the morning waiting on him to show up to buy drugs, and we would force him to go with us to try and detox, or just to keep him from buying it.. and he would stay around for a couple of days, and steal and dissapear. This was done upteen times trying to save him. he OD'd and almost died twice.. both times we sat in the hospital emergency room praying he hadn't killed himself. he owed someone money once, and they jumped him and sliced him 18 times all over his chest, almost killing him. The stereotype of crack addicts is that they're trash, poor, and come from bad families, and that's not true. My brother came from a well to do family (not my mom, who was single,but my uncle always made sure we were more than ok) and to look at him, you'd never imagine in a million years he was a drug addict. Even in his worst, he was Mr GQ with his expensive clothes, and nice cars. When he went to prison, for drugs, and theft to feed his addiction, I lost all hope in him. our relationship was so strained and gone that I never even took his calls or went to see him. He would write me remorseful letters that I would ignore. he got out of prision and our relationship is better than its been in our lives. it took YEARS of slow rebuilding to get to where we are now, and I was so proud of him for beating his addiction. he'd fought and eventually earned my trust. We'd even got to the point of saying "I love you" at the end of calls. Now it's all gone. I am so dissapointed in him. I just can't believe all that hard work is gone. I just dont know what to do. He wont take mine or my moms calls.. I guess he's embarrassed we know. I'm just so hurt.

Oh Kay!! I know what your going through. My heart has been so heavy with sorrow for my sister. She hasn't done all the stealing and what not but she is mixed up in drugs also. She too was raised to know better but she hasn't done better. She has 3 beautiful children that need her. Our relationship has been strained for years and it was hard to see her when I went home in June. I just want you to know that I do know first hand what it is like to have your heart break over & over for a loved one. I am here if you need to talk. Love ya gal, Tonya

((((((((Kay)))))))) I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish I could help it go away. I understand what you're going through as I've watched one of my closest friends destroy her life for drugs - up to the point of abandoning her 4 beautiful children. I've also just found out about my best friend in high school's brother was killed for a drug deal gone bad. If there is anything I can do to be of assistance please let me know. (((((((((We love you and will be here for you no matter what))))))))) Dee Dee

You can't make him give it up that has to be there choice for it to work I know it's hard on the whole family and his children mostly. I have a brother in law that has a drug habit right now he is in prison but not for drugs but for theft to buy the drugs he has been for 6 yrs this time with 4 more to go.He went 16 yrs in between this last time and at his age 56 he can't keep going this way when he get out.Sorry for rambleing. He will be in my prayers and so will the rest of you family it effects everyone that loves them. God Bless Harriett

Kay, if it helps, I completely understand what you're going through. To a T. My ex husband was a crack addict. He started smoking crack after we had been married about a year. Apparently he had smoked it before he met me, even been to prison a couple of times for theft because of it, but I didn't know all that in the beginning. I know the feeling of waiting up all night, praying that the addict comes home, hating and loving him at the same time. I know what it's like to have your bank card stolen, the car stolen (my ex didn't have a driver's license), and the account emptied with no money to live on for the next two weeks. I know what it's like to have to borrow money from friends and family to buy gas and groceries cause all the money was smoked up in a crack pipe. I know what it's like to get the call at 6am that he's in jail for driving without a license, and having to spend every dime you have, even sell the TV to get him out, and the hours of waiting at the jail for him to be released. We were kicked out of my mother's house because he stole from her. He would steal the bank card and tell me if I didn't drive him to get money and to get crack he would empty the whole account and take a taxi, but if I would take him he would only spend $250. So I would drive him, crying and yelling at him all the way, wishing I was strong enough to leave him at the drug place, but knowing he might get killed if I did and not being hard enough to do that. I hated him and I hated myself. I left my husband after a year of this. For a long time I missed him, but I knew that it was sink or swim and I wasn't going down with the ship. Now I know I did the best thing for me. You have to do the best thing for you. No one can make an addict come to terms with their addiction. We should know because most of us here are addicts as well. You can love your brother and still not have him in your life. Whatever you decide Kay, I support you. Please let me know if you ever need to talk cause I do understand. PS my ex was from a very wealthy family as well...I mean rich....I used to tell him (in my meaner moments) that I was raised in a trailer and I'd never done anything that white trash Kelle

Very sad story and I hate to say this but I think they never do change at all. I was "involved" and married to a drug addict for 30 years. After I first met him at 15 years of age and I got to know him I tried to break up with him, but he cried and made me feel terrible, so I decided to stay with him. On this day, I betrayed myself and my spirit and made the worst decision of my life. Thirty years off and on of stealing and lying as well other things. He did stop the drugs for about 10 years but then went to alcohol. Then went back on drugs, but hid it very well from me. Always tried to make me feel pity and sorry for his disease. I cannot tell you how many years of my life I wasted. This man was like an "energy vacuum". Finally, after 30 years of marriage (6 years ago) he developed a malignant form of lung cancer and passed away 6 months later. My 16 year old son and I were at home and stayed with him when he passed away. I know this sounds horrible because deep inside I am sure I loved him but after he died I felt a sigh of relief. I also hate to say this but never never for one day have I ever missed him. He took so much from life when he was alive that I do not miss him at all. I know that sounds terrible. As far as I am concerned - I would say do not invest one more precious minute of your life on this person because although some people do change - it is not your responsibility to make them. Do not make the same mistake I made - get out and away while you can. They usually do not change. My life is much better now that he is gone. Some people may be bleeding hearts and disagree with me but I know from experience.

Kay, My heart is very heavy for you right now, Fortunely I have not experience a relative being on drugs, but I'm on the other side of the tracks, I had a step-brother that was the dealer, I seen how drugs destroyed people lives, and he bragged about going to certain places to hang out, because it was some of his clients paydays, or their spouses. I never had anything to do with him because of his actions. Then he got busted and went to jail. Now he is a christian bible college trying to live by the book. I love the way he has changed. So please believe me that people can change. Mrs~Jackson

Kay. I will be thinking of you and your family! Connie

Kay, I just read your update. I'll be praying for you and your family. My sister has similar problems. I won't go into it deeply, but we haven't spoken in years, she's lost custody of both her children, been in and out of prison, refuses to take her medications, steals from everyone, and periodically runs off with men from the internet. She's even been on Jerry Springer, no kidding. The best we can do is pray for them and protect the innocent in their lives. I'm sorry this is such a tremendous source of pain for you. The offer of a get-away to Athens still stands. -Paige