Clarification on Post-Respect What I am about to Say

One of the hardest things I am having a problem with is trying to express myself and hoping there is an understanding out there. From the various online Help/Support teams I belong to I have to tell you that some of the responses I have received from fellow post ops is appalling, as well as demeaning. I am really surprised about the lack of sensitivity, as well as the condemnation I have received. I am and always have been a very open and upfront individual. I do not get over emotional, and I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve. so,I hope what I am about to say is not offensive- but I need to speak my mind. A few days ago, I posted my feelings as well as concerns I had as a new post op. I was upset because I had surgical complications....I indicated that I can drink no problem, can take protein, no problem, however I can not do the broth, jello, SF product etc..... I also indicated that I was HUNGRY...not head hunger but REAL HUNGER....All of these things are real and something I am living through everyday. I want you all to know the following..... 1. I am not an idiot. I have not researched for over a year, and taken this route to self help with the intents of sabatoging my efforts. I know this is a tool, I understand self discipline, self control, and self respect. Please give me the benefit of the doubt of knowing these things. 2. My feelings are real If I tell you I am experiencing something, do not discount me. I am telling you it is happening to me. It is not anything less than what I am telling you. I have enough common sense to determine what is real and is not. Give me the respect and listen to what I am telling you. 3. My experience may not be yours. Obviously, I do not fit in the "norm" of this experience. For those of you who have experienced hunger, can eat, and have issues with SF products, broth etc...and you called me or side emailed me... I want to thank you THANK YOU for sharing with me personal things they have experienced, and to let me know that what I feel is valid. THANK YOU THANK YOU! 4. I have a goal to succeed just like you! Just because my experience is different than yours, does not make how I approach my issues wrong. I am suppose to be injesting 69 grams of protein a day. My diet is mostly liquid, I definately am not getting in half the food or caloric intake needed per day. I definately am not getting my 69 grams. However, what I can get in and how I get them in is as indivdual as you and me. DO NOT CRITICIZE ME OR CALL ME A FAILURE! . 5. Everyone goes through this process differently... And that is the key to all of this.....I am different and my experience is going to be different from everybody else here. Each experience from each person is a learning tool and can be used as such. Please do not criticize me without knowing what I am going through. The reactions I have received on some of the Boards almost made me want to just some folks and say the heck with this. However, some true Friends have told me that my opinion and expressing my differences mean something as well. With that said- Please know that I know everyone Post-Op and Pre-Op is just concerned. I , respect, and appreciate everyone here. I just need you to understand how I feel. Denise

Denise I am very very very proud of you for posting your feelings and for what you have just said. I am still preop for 10 more days, and had intended to use this board as a sounding board if I ran into problems. It irritates the hell out of me that people are not respectful of ones emotional feelings. You know your feelings, and you know your body. People need to respect that. It is very informative to me as a pre-op to read all the posts here so that I can see the issues people are having post op so that I will know what to expect. I realize everyone is different and I am just trying to brace myself for the road ahead. Thank you! for posting to this board, and tell people who are not being nice or being non sensitive or non respectfull to kiss my ........... Thank you!!!!!! LOts of hugs! Connie

Hi Connie I lived on these boards up until the night of my surgery. I will say that it prepared me for a WHOLE Heck of alot of things. I hope that I will continue to do so post-op. I just want folks to know its not the same once this is all said and done. Denise

Hi Denise I am so sorry to hear that you had a problem on the board, I know how very disappointing that must be It is wonderful that you are so open and that you took a step to tell everyone how you feel. You would hope that when people post it is only with the best of intentions because we are all in the same boat so to speak, but you are so right that everyone is different. That is the one thing I have learned from this board, that everyone's response to the surgery is so different. I had a difficult time getting in my caloric & protein amounts in the beginning as well and it is soooo difficult to adjust to the changes your body is going thru initially. I was very fortunate not to have the hunger issue, however, a girl that had surgery on the same day I did by the same surgeon had horrible hunger right after the surgery, hers ended up getting much better about a month or so out (if I remember correctly). Anyway, you just hang in there - I know you will be fine and in about 6 months you will look back and be so happy with your progress. Of course keep in touch with your surgeon if you keep having a tough time so that he or she can give you options to get the appropriate levels in. I say this because I felt pretty weak @ about 2 months out because I initially had a rough time with protein, but I am 6 months out now & couldn't be happier I hope the bad experience wont discourage you from posting/being on the board. There are a lot of great people on here and sometimes it really helps to share experiences Good luck sweetie & God Bless. I wish you all the best. Angel 112 lb since surgery / 162 total since preparing for surgery

Hi Angel Thanks so much. I am hoping to do better just wanted to get that off my chest. I was pretty ANGRY this morning. Appreciate the support. Denise

Denise, Good for you!! You have no idea what impact your story will have on the next pre-op who is RIGHT NOW just kind of lurking on the boards, reading and absorbing EVERYTHING!! We know that person...we were all her/him a while back. They will read your difficulties, and successes, and when THEY are a post-op experiencing similiarities to yours, they will think "Hey.. I remember that Denise saying she had problems like this... Maybe it will be ok afterall"...OR...you may get an email from someone *****members your story and is looking for some suggestions on how to get through it.... No one should EVER discount another's opinion. You never know who your words and ups and downs may benefit another. I hope I didn't make you feel discounted with my response to you the other day...my intent was good, but you know what they say about good intentions paving the road to hell.. Take Care, and if I can help in any way, please don't hesitate to call. -Tami

Tami hi... No one on this particular board was rude- so no, what you said was not discounting. What I found is now when I am the most confused and not together when I needed comfort I got salt poured on my wounds- and that made me really ... Its also good to know that hey guess what? I am not alone and others have and are going thru what I am. So if I had to get to find this out then its all Thanks for all the Denise

Well said, Denise!!! ((((hugs)))) Becky

Denise stick to your guns everyone is driffrent i'm 25th or 26th day post-op and still having trouble with the food i', surpose to be on.Last night i ate some homemade potatoe soup even with the onion it was so good and i handled it fine so that is the way i'm going right now. all sugar free stuff make me sick. Hang in there Harriett

Hi Harriett, Man you made my mouth water talking about that Soup Isn't it amazing that SF could turn on us like this? I can't even believe it! Thanks for your support! Denise