Personality changes?!?

Ok, anyone else going through this? My wife and others insist that my personality has changed. I don't see it. Now, I am more outgoing because I'm no longer ashamed to be seen in public and not afraid to draw attention to myself but I don't think I have changed. I've been told I'm now arrogant, short with people, snooty but I don't see any of this. One jerk even said I was no longer "JOLLY". Now that jerked my chain. Am I alone in this?

I highly doubt you are alone Jeff. I am a newbie...only 26days post-op. I have always been outgoing and talkative, but what I have notice in this short itme is that I no longer feel the need to make myself heard to my -ex. When he picks an arguement over the phone or starts to raise his voice....I no longer feel the need to try to rasie mine over his. Before I wanted to be right, I wanted his approval in some weird way.(probably b/c he left me cuz I got fat) No all of a sudden, I feel mentally stronger and don't feel the need. I see it for all that it really is. I am grateful. I'm sure a boost in your self-esteem is noticeable and your wife and others may see that change and be threated by it. Some times over-weight people are "jolly" and have to put on a happy face now you don't have to if you don't want to b/c you know you have nothing to prove. I hope that your wife can see the new improved you and apprecaite him Tonya

Sir, God Bless You! I have not yet had the surgery. But let me just say, it is not that your personality has changed; you now feel free to express the different facets of who you truly are. To your surprise, you are probably getting to know yourself more fully also. Many times people are most comfortable with us when they feel they have an idea of who we are. Now they are actually getting to see you and not the weight of low self esteem. Usually, heavy people are supposed to be jolly, easygoing, and passive. The arrogance they see is probably the reflection of themselves when they look at you. The shortness with people stems from their own inability to comprehend their own shortcomings. The lack of jolliness is most definitely their own intollerance of your happiness. I hope I don't sound bitter.

Hi there - I am three months post op and down 60 lbs. My personality is changing. I used to be somewhat of a pushover expecting certain things to be a certain way because I have always been overweight. I find I am tolerating a lot less now and I am very vocal when something is offensive. I feel like I deserve and expect to be treated a certain way and when it does not happen that way I open my mouth. I never did this before. I honestly think people in the workplace as well as family members are sometimes a little verbally abusive to overweight people. I do not apologize for what some may think of as arrogance at all. I feel like it is past due. Best wishes and blessings to you!!! Lisa

James & Lisa...you two hit hte nail on the head. I so agree with you both.

A co worker told me today that I carried myself differently and had more self-confidence. I told that person that I always had self-confidence. He said that I "look good and know it." He meant it in a good way...I said, "Yup, I'm a diva!" I think I am pretty close to where I was before personality wise, but maybe a little more open with people. I am 8 months out and still get a lot of attention from it...which I am not complaining about...but a lot of people that did not talk to me too much before have started talking to me more.

I hear exactly the same thing. I seem to be a lot more assertive now, I have noticed that. I don't seem to fear what others will think about what I say. I have absolutely no patience for B/S at all now. Dr. Proctor's staff won't even speak to me anymore. I do seem to be a LOT more effective in business matters, though. I have learned that while I shed 170 pounds in the 14 months since my surgery, I shed a LOT more than the pounds. There's a lot of mental baggage that goes as well, and it's very liberating. That can be a lot for others to get used to. But when it comes down to it, you are a different person, inside as well as out.

Well...let me pose this question.... How many times did you opt out of even a minor confrontation before, because ANY time you got into a heated debate, the first thing the other party went for was the "FAT" comment.... I've heard it..."Shut up fat ass" or "Maybe if you weren't such a fat b*tch", etc., etc.... so I learned really fast to just avoid confrontation, because instead of the other party hearing what may be a very valid point, they just dismiss me, because apparently I ATE my brains for breakfast. I would well imagine that once the weight is gone, and the playing field is a little more level, I will be more inclined to voice my opinion. Just my thoughts.... -Tami

That is funny Tammy but soooo on point!

I'm sure the personality changes become more and more evident with the more wieght we stop hiding behind. The only thing I can suggest is ask your wife to let you know when she thinks you're acting unfavorably. I hope things let you be the person you really are.....god bless and good luck my fellow "looser"