My Ode To Bowel Prep
I waited till last to do things around the house
Didn't listen to my friend who said "Stay still as a mouse."
Started the bowl prep at 8 o'clock
Thinking "I'll have a few hours before sitting on the pot".
As I pull sheets from the washer I can't help but wonder
The sky is blue, what's all that thunder?
My tummy's on fire and my legs are going week
I run down the hall with one hand on my cheek.
As I sit here with nothing else to do
With eyeliner pen and TP I write a note to you.
I've read the directions on every box, jar and can
Nothing to read, too quickly I ran.
Can I iron in the bathroom and can I do it while sitting -
Nothing here but magazines on hunting and fishing!
I should have brought my book! It's boring in here!
Just look at that wall! I'll have to paint it next year.
The pictures are level and the towels are hung straight
Oh no, the dryer is buzzing - It'll have to wait.
If I call to the cat, will she hear my plea?
"Push a book under the door. I need something to read!"
Charmin has now become my very best friend
As I reach for something to soothe my rear end.
I think the worst of it has just passed
I sigh as I get up, "I'm free at last!"
As I flush, get up and I reach for the door
"Oh Lord Almighty! Here comes some more!"
So, if you're still pre-op, and have this to go through
Take it from me, put something in the bathroom for you do do.
And, if you've ever heard a rumor
That your surgeon has no sense of humor.....
DON'T BELIEVE IT! THEY'RE LYING A DOG!!!
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