Can you share with me???

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family! Hugs, Rona

Rona, I admire your determination to do this article. It is well documented that obese people are discriminated against in the workplace. And now, we are being discriminated against by our insurance carriers who are dropping wls as a covered medical expense. When I wrote my appeal letter to my company, I used heart surgery as my comparison. The argument was obesity was the result of poor choices and behavior. I countered that heart disease was also the result of poor food choices and behavior, but I said they would never deny an employee open heart surgery if it was going to save that employee's life. How could they not do the same for the obese employee who would surely die without wls? The statistics for the costs of heart surgery are greater than for obesity, and the savings in terms of medical costs for obesity related illnesses are significant. Still, companies continue to drop the coverage of wls and insurance companies continue to drop wls from their policies. I have been a legal assistant for 30 years. I have consistently been overlooked for promotions to managerial positions for no other reason than my weight. I am well liked by my co-workers and I have a Master's Degree, so my education and personal skills are certainly in line with requirements for promotion. Interestingly, after my wls, I was approached by my personnel manager at the firm I now work at about moving into a managerial position! After I lost weight, all of a sudden I was considered managerial material! Good luck with your research. It will be depressing I'm sure, but it is definitely something that needs to be addressed. I hope I have been a small help. Liz Brown

Rona, it would be hard to narrow it down....I guess I've been lucky cause I've never lost a job or not been promoted THAT I KNOW OF because of my size. I know I probably have, especially since I'm super MO, but it's never been in my face. What has been though are the attitudes of people out and about in the world. It's so embarrasing to go out sometimes, even with friends people still make comments, openly. And forget about going out alone. I simply won't do it, cause without that shield of friendship, it gets even worse. The worst people on earth are redneck white guys in their late teens early 20s. And as I live in GA, we have a surplus of rednecks. Kelle

Office settings are really hard for us obese. I remember applying for a job as a bookkeeper and being interviewed by the office manager who must have been all of 100 lbs. She was very attractive and the boss catered to her, but she did not know how to use the phone properly. I had all the expertise and experience but she had the sex appeal. It was very difficult for me because she kept getting promoted despite the fact that she was an airhead. I was finally promoted to office manager and she got mad and quit, but then I got another boss who absolutely hated fat people. By then I had enough of the office routine and decided on another profession. So I become a merchandiser and travel around to different stores dealing with people. It became difficult for me to walk all day and I was not successful in the selling part of my job. When you are working in a world of men they can be very difficult. Most men tend to be very visually motivated and will not even speak with you if you are obese. I am down 40lbs. since my wls 6 weeks ago and I can already see a big difference in the workplace. My 21 year old son had intervied for many positions in his field of work and has always been passed up because of his size also. He has lost 49 lbs. and is 6 weeks out also. I hope he will be more successful in his field at this time. Also, Kelle is right about rednecks. Living in the south is difficult. Rednecks absolutely despise heavy women. A woman could weight 100 lbs. and be a toothless hag, but if she is skinny and maybe has long hair, she is a queen. Go figure. The bottom line is that these folks who discrimate so blantlantly are basically giving us a clear picture of where their head is at and I try to avoid relationships with these types of individuals. Goodnight to all!!