to go along with the one thing .........

You tell her Miss Thang!! I don't have an evil bone in my body, but I have a feeling that there will be something very liberating about telling her how I really feel. Joe

Great discussion!! I am a very outgoing person and always have been. I haven't been obese my whole life but I have certainly always been the "big girl" Why did I have to hang out with such skinny gals?LOL To expound on Joe comment about settling for the first person to come along....that goes for everyone, skinny or fat. No matter your size, if you don't have any self-esteem then you put yourself at risk for attracting & settling with some one that perhaps you shouldn't. I agree with Tracy when she says you have to fix the inside first. Many marriages of gastric bypass patients end in divorce when the obese spouse starts to loose significant weight and starts to feel better about her/his self. Perhaps these marriages came about for reasons that weren't on the surface. Maybe the obese spouse settled for a mate with low self-esteem. Maybe that spouse didn't feel threatened that the obese mate would cheat or leave b/c of their size.. I am divorced. My ex basically left me b/c I had gained weight and he couldn't stand to see me fat. I went for so long after that being angry and ashamed of myself. My self-estemm plummeted and I started feeling very uncomfortable being noticed by men and swearing off men forever b/c I was afraid of being hurt again. I went into couseling and realize now that him leaving me is his problem. My weight and self-esteem problem is mine. I have worked and continue to work at loving myself. I have come a long way and have a long journey ahead of me. There are times now that I feel like I am ready to invite some one into my life if the Lord sends some one my way and their are times when the thought frightens me. It is going to be an interesting journey. I can't wait to have surgery and continue working toward living my best life. Tonya

Oh, I forgot to mention...even with all the therapy and work I've done....I still have this little part of me that wants to be thin and toned, dressed to the nines when my ex comes to the door to pick up my son! I've daydreamed about his mouth hitting the floorLOL I've prayed about this little revenge fantasy, hasn't worked though.LOL

Tonya I think we all have this little Fantasy ...I know i have had it for ..ohhhhh lets see about 15 years now ...But here is the good thing ...Now it will come true !!! Laura

You know I wanted to add something, especially after reading what Tonya and Joe had to say. I agree that it would be hypocritical of me to hold it against guys I've known before to all of a sudden be interested in me, cause I've always been attracted to thinner guys. Not herion sheik thin, but you know, six pack abs, nice toned arms, no body builder types but just a regular guy who plays sports and takes care of himself. I admit this to myself and will try to remember not to be a hypocrite! As far as settling for someone, I agree with that as well. I know I settled when I married my ex husband. And darned if that jerk didn't end up making me feel bad about myself and my weight! I was the same size when I divorced him as when I married him. But somewhere along the way he decided he couldn't deal with it. He thought he could, but could not. Well guess what, I thought I could deal with him but I could not so, as they say on the gameshow, you are the weakest link, Goodbye!

I AM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP!!!!!! GREAT GIRL. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HAD SO MANY SKINNY FRIENDS AND ALL THEY EVER SAY IS YOU BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL ANY GUY WHO CAN"T SEE THAT IS THEIR LOST! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP. SORRY I HAD TO YELL IT. Do you know how many men have fell in love with my voice at work but I can see it in their face when we meet, that this body does not match the voice. I also sing and trust me it's all about the look. I have auditions for all types of things and they always pull me to the side and say well you don't fit the group but we would love to have do some back up. Thin people have know Idea how much you miss out on when your not socially beautiful. Date I don't even know what that is. I get so tired of the pretty face line or saying I look like some other famous large women that I look nothing like her. I even know for sure that guys have liked me but cut their feelings off because they could not bring someone who was not thin around their family and friends. So, I say all of this to say Yes, I would love to see how the other side lives. Now don't get me wrong I know life is not perfect for thin people they have hard times too. I have a model friend who's beautiful but men don't talk to her cause she looks like that. She nevers date AND I NEED TO CALL HER any rate but men won't even hold doors open for me but it's been so long since I had a date 10yrs ago I might get scared. But I can't wait to see what I will do when they wanna date me!?! P.S. Joe your a cutie and guys I'm working on my independent CD and I hope you guys support me when I release it. I can't wait to take my pictures for the cover of my CD after I had surgery. Bye Guys excuse errors

Trust me I know, I work for STD/HIV Pervention. Excuse me if I teach but hey it's my job. Please everyone be very careful. Trust me, I see sad stories all day when all you had to do is be protected. NOW THAT, THAT IS OVER! I'm not to sure about men either, I'm actually kinda of mad or hateful because they have ignored me for so long. So, I have a really big chip on my shoulder and have decided I will just be rich,thin and live in my house on the hill by myself Okay, you guys are really gonna think i'm crazy No matter what size I am, I'm still the same person, why like me just because I'm thin, don't men need more than just a body? NO, that's all they need, who cares if you can bring more to the table other than your looks. Hopefully my feelings will change Okay, I will stop it's turning into a poor me post. Sorry