I'm new here!!

I am going to copy and paste my introduction from the RNY board to this board. Hope thats okay. looking forward to getting to know you all.

Hello all. I have heard wonderful things about this community for quite a while. But for some reason I felt I wasn't ready to be here yet. Well, here I am!!

My name is Michelle. I am a mom of 4 ages 8-2. my daughter Kailey has multiple birth defects/disabilities and this plays into my personal story because the stress eating and weight gain began when she came into out lives. She is 7 now. I am married, and my husband is finally supportive of my decision to pursue WLS.

I am pre op, being monitored by my  family physician. I should have surgery in July (keeping in mind that I have the insurance hill to climb).

I never really thought of myself as the fat frumpy mom. But as the years have gone on and the pounds have packed on, I stopped looking in the mirror. I didn't care what I looked like, and felt that as long as the children were top notch, then outwardly so was I. I felt it didn't matter what my body looked like, as I am in a happy marriage and my husband loves me as I am. Not to mention the fact that he has packed on the pounds just as quickly if not faster than I have. Misery loves company right?

I looked in the mirror about  a month after my mom had a stroke, and 2 years after my brother had a massive stroke, and I was honestly STUNNED at the person looking back at me! No make up, hair a wreck and gray, wearing my husband T-shirt and sweat pants, because thats much more comfortable than squeezing into my jeans!  I had bags under my eyes, discoloration on my neck, age spots on my face, and I was FAT! I mean REALLY FAT!

I can't imagine the humiliation I have caused my children. They are young and love me no matter what, but my appearance was catastrophic!  I made up my mind, right then and there, that things had to change! I started looking into surgery, and had not yet decided on it. I had some changes to make in my life if I was going to be able to alter my body!

So, in November I made the announcement to my family that WLS was in my future. I got mostly supportive responses. But amazingly my husband was ANGRY, and evidently unsupportive. In December I weighed in with my doctor and to my amazment and astonisment and agony I weighed in at 300lbs. How on earth did I get to that weight with out knowing it? (I'm sure wearing my husbands sweat pants had something to do with it). Since January I have lost 20 lbs. I am getting on the elliptical (which my husband got for me as a show of support finally), and watching what I eat. I have cut out carbs and sadly I have cut out my beloved light and sweet coffee that I use to drink all day long.

I have followed many blogs who continuously mention OH, from trimywill.com to born2lbfat, to meltingmama. I love them all for thier honesty, their real life take, their candid approach. I want to know the ugly, as much as I want to know the good & bad. I want to be ready, and thats why I didnt' leap right for the WLS road.

As an advocate for my child, I know how important it is to be an advocate for myself.

I l ive in the Atlanta area and am seeing Dr.Hart as my surgeon. His team has been wonderful in walking me though all that I will need to accomplish for the insurance to go through. June will be my sixth month with my PC, and July is the target surgery date.

for anybody interested my daughter's site is www.kaileyrose.com

thats my novel. Looking forward to finding friends, and working on support here. Thank you!
Michelle

Welcome, Michelle. Congrats on your new lifestyle changes.  You are doing fantastic.
Good luck on getting your approval and the surgery. 


Myra

Welcome Michelle.  Congratulations on making changes prior to your surgery.  These changes will help with your recovery.
Please keep us posted on your progress. 
Linda

thank you ladies for the welcome and the support. I appreciate it.

                                           

     Welcome to the GA Forum Michelle!


Wow, what an amazing story you have. I know it took a lot to pour out your heart and share everything with us.  That's the 1st step to a new life, admitting your faults and being honest with yourself about what it is that you need to change.  It takes a lot to get to that point

I know you may encounter some opposition from your hubby and family and friends, but you have to be strong and do what is right for you.  Loved ones are unsupportive for many reasons. Mostly because they sincerely love you and are afraid for your safety. They may know of horror stories from people that has wls years ago.  Also, there may be fear or jealousy, considering you'll be thin post-op and they will still be heavy.  All of these emotions are pretty normal, and I am sure you will work through it with your hubby.

The thing you need to know is you have 4 children to care for. The only way to make sure they get the best love and care God ordained for them is to love and care for yourself!!!!  Nobody will ever love those babies the way you do, not even hubby.  If you become immobile, or die from a weight related condition, who will care for your children?  I know this must have made an important role in your decision to have this surgery. 

                      

Your children don't have to suffer the pain of losing you from a stroke like you did when you lost your mom.  Medical professionals say obesity is hereditary. I say it is a generational curse. You can break that curse! You can prevent your children from being obese by making healthy choices when you prepare their meals. 

                               

One thing you mentioned is you are unhappy with your appearance.  Now, I know you may not be where you want to be physically today, but you are beautiful and worthy of pampering, love,  and self affection TODAY.  We can all spruce ourselves up a little and do a world of wonder. Have you ever seen Oprah without her make-up? Not pretty!   There are fat divas and thin divas. Choose to be a fat diva TODAY and you will be well on your way to being ready to be a thin diva. 

                      
                              
The best way to be assured you will care for yourself properly post-op is to start practicing today. You don't have to wait to lose 100 pounds to get a hair cut or buy a new outfit.  If money is a concern, check out Goodwill, consignment stores, or EBay. And they DO make cute stuff in big girl sizes.   For low cost hair styling, see if there is a beauty school in your area.  The student prices are a fraction of what a salon charges. You may even be able to some things like coloring yourself.  

                   

The effort you take to set aside time to do little things like painting your nails, or ironing a fresh stylish outfit, or applying some make up to go to WalMart will create a pattern of self love.  Wearing hubby's sweats tsk, tsk... This can transcend into loving yourself post op by taking time to prepare the proper foods, take your vitamins, and set aside time for exercise.  Self love is critical to post op success, and that is NOT something the surgeon can change. It is something you have to work at from within. 



Best wishes for a smooth ride on this amazing journey. 

~LaShelle

 

                
    

Hi

Welcome!  I saw you picture and you are a really great looking lady!  Please be encouraged.  I am making my way to having a DS surgery this summer.  Now I am not buying anything new to wear at all...I keep myself looking as nice as possible... its amazing how accessories make you feel.  just add earring or a necklac and sometimes a belt.  Honestly, I always felt better about taking action about my weight when I felt good sbout myself. 


Please do not let anything stop you!  You can do this!

Hey lady, I'm live in ATL also and Welcome!!!!

Thank you ladies for the warm welcome and the inspiration words! 

For the most part I HAVE started to take better care of myself. First with what I eat, and secondly with my appearance. I admit though, as a stay at home mom, I don't get myself together every day. But at least now, IF I'm going to leave the house other than carpool, I DO get dressed, hair did and make up on. I need to get a dye job in the worst way! LOL.

I'm actually in Gwinnett County. So far, I am loving Dr.Hart and his team. He is very quiet, but he is honest and willing to answer any questions I have had. I went to his presurgical seminar and he was quite entertaining too. His nurse Cindy is wonderful. She really does all of the leg work to get you in and going. She is very positive and helpful, as well as upfront about what is needed of you for your insurance company.

looking forward to getting to know you all! 

Hi Michelle- Congratulations on deciding to take control of your weight issues and your health! Most of us found that some people in our lives were supportive and others were not. In the end, it's a personal choice to pursue WLS as a way of intervening in our collision course with death. I know for me, I was slowly gaining weight every year despite my best efforts to diet and stop what I was doing. Some of it was eating the wrong foods, too much of them, emotional eating and being sedentary. Believe me when I tell you, everything about your old lifestyle needs to change. We all wish surgery is some kind of magic bullet that somehow allows us to donate our bodies to the surgeon and when we come home simply makes the weight melt off but it doesn't really work that way. We really do have to make permanent lifestyle changes in order to maximize the results of the surgery we pursue.

I tink it's wonderful you have your Kailey Rose as inspiration to be successful on this journey! I'm going to give you a mental exercise to do before you have surgery. Close your eyes and imagine it's a year from now, you've had your surgery and you've lost all the weight you want to lose. You have done everything perfectly! You have learned to measure portions, eat healthy meals, incorporate more physical activity into your daily life, drink enough water everyday, take your supplements and so on. All of these things have paid off BIG TIME and you are now at the weight you had set out to reach a year ago!
   - What would you look like?
   - What kinds of clothes would you be wearing? What size dress/pants?
   - What kinds of activities would you be able to do that you can't do today?
   - What other changes would you see in yourself?
   - How would it affect your relationships with others?

Write the answers to these questions down on a piece of paper. Make your answers MEASUREABLE AND TANGIBLE. Don't write vague answers like feel better or be more healthy. You can drop 30 lbs and feel better. Make them very speciific like be a size XX dress or see my daughter walk down the aisle someday or be able to play with my daughter in the play ground and not jus****ch from the sidelines. Mine were things like fly in an airplane seat comfortably without a seatbelt extender and not get the "oh not not you look" from the person sitting next to me and being able to buy clothes from any department store instead of the big & tall stores. Whatever your goals are and reasons for pursuing WLS, write them down. You are limited only by your imagination. Trust me, you can accomplish anything on this journey!

Having a good idea of what you want to get out of your surgery (why your doing all this), really helps you stay the course when you have cravings, get flustered, etc. It is such a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself and, long term, for your family. Whether your husband sees it now or not. You may need to have a few conversations with him to help him understand your decision. He might be scared about the risks of surgery. Maybe he thinks you think it's a quick fix to your weight problem-- trust me it's not! It is a small piece to a lifelong obligation to change your lifestyle.

I am so excited for you and the journey you are about to embark on! You are going to change your life. Know it can be bumpy, you may stray off the path, stumble and fall. You just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving toward those goals I talked about earlier. You never stop moving forward. If you learn what made you stumble, fall, stray off course, even better! Self awareness along the way is critical to growth on this journey. So don't think you have to be perfect. It's not about success and failure. It's anything but.

This is a safe place to ask your questions, vent your frustrations and just be you. Know that some of us will call you out on your thought process (I tend to do that) and others will be very supportive. It's a combination of styles that blend together that give people what they need to hear to keep moving forward.

I wish you MUCH success on your journey!

Dr. Hart is an excellent surgeon. Good luck with your WLS!