Calling all Singles!

I have an interesting discussion topic for the "singles" out there.  I have posted this same question on the "main" forum board too, so sorry if there is any duplication.

Have your goals changed since surgery as to what kind of mate you are looking for post-op vs. pre-op???

My goals have always been to find a man with integrity, high morals, honest & faithful.  I am only 4 1/2 months out from my RNY surgery, but I have found myself wanting to find a mate who is either on the same journey as I (WLS patient) or one that is wanting to spend their "senior" years being active, healthy and eating good.  I reallly don't consider myself a "senior" (lol) ... but I guess I'm headed in that direction fast! Giggles! 

Before surgery I seemed to always lean toward men who were either over-weight or "curve" admirers.  This was my "safe" zone to help with not being rejected because of my own obesity issues. And, yes there are men out there and women out there who do not want a fat mate.  But, now it is no longer about being "fat" .... its about being "healthy." I am now on a lifestyle change after surgery and want to be with someone who will not only "support" me through this journey but will also encourage me and maybe one who has "been there, done it."  So many people don't have any clue how obesity affects us and how many issues we are having to overcome as post-op patients unless they have experienced it.

So, no ............. I'm not looking for thin ............ or fat ............ I am looking for someone who is on a journey of health to help me with my journey and not be a stumbling block.  I also am soooooooo looking forward to my renewed energy and health and want to spend time with someone who can enjoy these things with me.

expectations in relationships are premeditated resentments, do we raise the standard when we loose weight as a result and do we not ignore the physical damage we do to ourselves ?? skin integrity ,diet restrictions etc. it goes both ways are we going to subject ourselves in to another person after wls due to physical attributes .for me that would be hypocritical as i was the same person before as i am now .
hugs Gay .

Chris,

Spit it out .... in layman's terms .... what did you just say????? lol !!!! Hugs back!

Hello Happy Peach,
I know so well how you are feeling! I once was there. I always looked for men that would not reject me in anyway. I was about a year out and I was not looking for anyone but had a chance for someone wonderful to come into my life. I had been divorced for 13 years and then my last relationship ending because my partner said that they could not be with anyone that was heavy. That was a hard blow in its self. I then stayed away form hurtful because of being afraid of being hurt again.

The only problem that I have with this relationship is that they do not really understand me. They say that I'm eating all the time and really I'm not. Yes! as a RNY or WLS patents we do tend to eat a little more offten than us having a normal tummy. See what they really do not understand, We can take one of their meals and eat on it 3 to 4 time. As I told him when I met him; I was going to be the cheapest date he ever had, Ha, Ha.

So be kind to yourself and enjoy your journey!

Jeannie

Hey Jeanne ! It was so nice meeting you at the OH conference ... what a sweet and dear person you are and so very genuine!  Thanks for all your encouragement!!!  I agree .... we are a "cheap" date ..... don't take a whole lot of food to satisfy our new pouches!!!!!!

I am enjoying this amazing journey!  You do the same sweetie!!

From my experience two WLS patients can keep each other motivated as well as cheap grocery bills!  Norma and I have all kinds of fun when we go out to eat.  Splitting a single meal and often asking for a take out box will get a funny look or two on occasion.  If the server is not one of our "regulars" who know us and why we do what we do the standard line is "...our eyes were bigger than our stomachs."  Lot of truth in that!

I bet ya'll have so much fun together!!! This journey isn't an easy one .... (like some folks thinking we took the "easy way out" ..... NOT) ... !!! Sounds like ya'll are great for each other and you both know what each other has gone through, and what you want to do to be successful in the future TOGETHER!!

GOOD LUCK U 2!!

SO TRUE ON #4!!!! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER TRUST A FART!!!

Initial attraction can no longer motivate me to get to know a man.  My type of sexy is a large man and the last thing I need to do is surround myself with big eaters.   

Ironically, thin men have always been attracted to me.  Now if I could only love them back, lol.  Oh well, pickings are slim in S GA anyway.