Job Classified: Parent Needed OT

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical.. If it had been presented this way, 

I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Mom Ma-Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop, Pa-Pa

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in 

an often chaotic environment.  Candidates must possess excellent 

communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable 

hours, which
 will include
 evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour 

shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping

sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life!  

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone 

needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.  Also, must possess 

the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero

to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams 

from the backyard are not someone just
 crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as 

small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate 

production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients 

of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment 

the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million 

cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the 

end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work 

throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:   

None!

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without 

complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so 

that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this!   You pay them!  Offering frequent raises and bonuses!

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially

independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you 

actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition 

reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; 

this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 

unconditional love, and free hugs
 and kisses for life if you play
 

your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they 

are appreciated for the fabulous job they do.... or forward with 

love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** FOOTNOTE: 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

LaShelle,
That is so funny and true!!  They should add to the benefits Grandchildren are a great reward.
Thanks for sharing.
Linda