Failure?

I had rny 8/13/07 and lost 65 lbs during the first 8 months.  Then it started..............weight loss totally stopped.  Haven't lost any more.  In fact, I've gained 5 lbs and can't lose it.  After my stall began, I got really depressed and have pretty much felt like a huge failure ever since.  Don't get me wrong, I am greatful for what I have lost but thought I would lose alot more with such a drastic change to my body. Since my stall, I have started smoking again and drinking (something I've never done).  I don't exercise, have a hectic schedule with kids, work, etc...........I know they say that exercise is the key but I just don't see it.  Will I ever lose anymore?  Could the alcohol be stalling my weight loss?  What type of exercise gets the most results with the least amount of time?  I feel like a failure and don't think I can take gaining this back which I know is going to happen!!!  Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Hey friend.  

First, you need to put the alcohol down.  Yes it can be a culprit in your not losing any more weight - but you can also have a transfer addiction and that is no good.

Go back to the beginning.  Maybe do the 5 day pouch test, so you can see for yourself that your tool is still there and working.

Then start with your primary foods first, do a few days of liquids, move to soft and then go back to solids.  Protein first, protein then a bit of produce.  Do the same thing you were doing when you were actively losing.  You DO need to exercise - do you walk at lunch?  Would you walk at lunch? 

You say you do not excercise but you do not see how its the key - exercise creates muscle mass and muscle mass eats calories while you rest, much more than fat does.  

There are also some get back on track forums here on OH, folks who may have been in your exact shoes and can shed some light on how to get back.

Have your kids go and excercise with you, yall go skating, or walk up Stone Mountain.  

I pray some peace on you and that you can find a solution you can live with!

OK, first of all.....YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! Stop the pitty party....use all your energy to get "Back on track"!!!!  Having the RNY was only the first step...the work begins after surgery.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I am not trying to be mean at all!  You are the only one that can do this for "Yourself"!!! Take the bull by the horns and do it!!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! Believe me I know what it is like!!!! AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!

The 1st year to 1 1/2 years you need to be learning a healthier lifestyle, healthy eating and YES EXERCISE!!!! There is nothing magic at all about having the RNY, IT DOES WORK, YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK IT!  THIS IS NOT A DIET!!!! (remember we all failed at all of them!) and a diet is a temporary thing.  This is a healthy lifestyle change that we all will be on the rest of our lives. 

I am 8 years out....it doesn't change...it only gets harder because the further out you are the more you can eat!!! Isn't that scary!!!! 

Start by planning your meals, eat your protein first then your veggies. Don't drink with your meal. And try to learn the difference in head hunger and stomach hunger. 

Alcohol has so many calories, STOP drinking it!  As the other person said, you can trade one addiction for another. 

Go to support group! It is so important.  And if you need to go talk to someone....there is nothing wrong with doing that!  I have several names if you need them or contact your insurance company, they have helpful information.  

YOU HAVE TO EXERCISE...IT IS THE COMBINATION OF HEALTHY EATING AND EXERCISE THAT MAKES WEIGHT LOSS WORK.  WHATEVER YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH YOU HAVE TO WORK OFF!!! CARDIO....CARDIO....CARDIO....IT DOES BURN FAT!!!!  This can be as simple as walking and you can walk with your children. Obesity runs in families, let your children learn by example how important exercise and a healthy lifestyle is.  Also, think about it, exercise doesn't have to be this dreaded thing you have to do....what you you like to do....think about it...make it fun!  If you like it you will do it!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS...I KNOW YOU CAN....COME ON....GET UP.....AND GET STARTED!!!!!

Take care, 

Ginger

 

1st of all you are NOT a failure. You have succeeded in losing 60 lbs from your start weight.  I also don't think you are having a pity party.  You care asking for help and support.  You have lost half a lady. Give yourself a pat on the back and get back on track.  Remember how hard you had to fight to get your surgery approved? Work 10x harder to make it successful!

As far as the drinking and smoking, I agree.. GET HELP NOW. I know it's not illegal, but you could be masking some pain, frustration, stress, prior abuse. Before you could use food for comfort, now you turned to something else. I think most fat people have some little spiritual demons inside they battle with whether it was childhood abuse, low self esteem, stress, failed relationships, etc. Food is a comfort and a friend that we use to heal our hurt.

Fun exercise ideas: belly dancing, water aerobics, SEX!, walking around the mall, dancing in the nude, gardening. Find something fun and you're more likely to stick to it.

Do you have any support group buddies?  Pray for God to send you someone special to walk this journey with you. We all need help sometimes and there is no shame in seeking it.


What weight did you start at? What is ideal for you? If you are getting close to your goal, it's normal for the weight loss to slow down.  The last pounds are the ones you have to fight for.  Whatever your goal is, you will get there if you persevere.
 

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and
your sleep for it

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you'll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you'll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You'll get it!

-- Berton Braley

I don't have any support group friends.  I never started going to support meetings because I was a single mom with only my elderly parents to depend on for childcare.  I am mobile and very athletic and love to play basketball and softball with my kids.  
My start weight was 255 and my lowest weight was 193.  Went from a size 20 to a 12.   I weigh between 198 and 200 now and am terrified to get back on the scales in fear that I'm over the 200 mark again.  I am big boned and carry my weight well.  My surgeon wants me to be at 135 but I can't see that.  I would be happy between 150 and 170. 

Well if you'd like to come to our meet n greet Saturday, you and the kids are welcome. Otherwise check to see what groups are in your area. What part of town are you in?

"What type of exercise gets the most results with least time"

MY EXERCISE COACH GAVE THIS PLAN TO ME:

WALK AT SLOW PACE 3 MINUTES
RUN/JOG 1 MINUTE
WALK AT SLOW PACE 3 MINUTES
RUN/JOG 1 MINUTE
WALK AT SLOW PACE 3 MINUTES


REPEAT PATTERN. START AT 15-20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME OR AS LONG AS YOU CAN MANAGE. WORK UP TO 30-45 MINUTES.

THE JOGGING FOR 1 MINUTE INTERVALS GET'S YOUR HEART RATE UP. MOST ANYBODY CAN JOG 1 MINUITE OR AT LEAST POWERWALK. EVEN I CAN AT 314 LBS. I COULDN'T JOG FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT THOUGH. 

SHE EXPLAINED THIS PATTERN GIVES YOU THE BENEFIT OF HAVING THE ELEVATED HEART RATE WITHOUGHT HAVING TO HAVE THE ENDURANCE OF GOING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WORKOUT JOGGING.


TRY IT AND LET ME KNOW IF IT WORKS FOR YOU. I DON'T KNOW YOUR WEIGHT OR PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS, BUT I'M ASSUMING YOU'RE MOBILE, SINCE YOU ASKED ABOUT EXERCISE.  IF YOU CAN'T MOVE AROUND, YOU MAY NEED A WATER AEROBICS CLASS.