Hubby is totally against this surgery...

I am still in the research stage, a long way from having the surgery. But, my hubby is totally against me having this surgery. He's so (NOT) supportive, that he keeps telling me if I have the sugery that I'll be dead within a year! He's researched the surgery online, read lots of data, and is convinced that because of my hypoglycemia, I will die. What should I do?

My hubby was against it, too, but it's my life and my decision. I took my husband to our marriage counselor (a man who my husband respects), and the counselor sided with ME. He told my husband that as my partner he needed to be supportive of my decisions. Maybe you can go to counseling? I'm sure if your husband wanted to do something to better his life, YOU would support him. If I were you, I would go ahead and schedule your first appointment with your PCP to get the labs done, get a referral, and have your doctor start the letter of medical necessity. My husband is finally (begrudingly) on board. He would be thrilled if I changed my mind, but he has finally realized he needs to support this decision because it's what *I* want to do. HUGS, carol L.

Ann: I think you can find some WLS people who are hypoglycemic and talk to them to see what problems they encountered and how they are doing now. Go out to the main message board, there is alot people posting out there. Also share with him this letter to "significant others" that I found on another web site, just put a www in front of it wlscenter.com/Significant_Others.htm Good luck to you in your journey. Hugs, Kelly S

My boyfriend (of 3 years) is against me getting a lapband because he is afraid I may not make it through the surgery or that I may become sickly afterwards. I informed him that all of those things could happen now with me weighing 275lbs. He has become a little more supportive, but I told him that this is my life, and I have to do what is best for me. Your situation is somewhat different however, because this is your husband we are talking about. Good luck! Rachel

If you can get him to go to a local support group with one of the doctor's in your area so he can meet others who have had bariatric surgery. That may help. Also have him talk with the doctor about his concerns. And understand once you lose weight, you may become more outgoing, independent, self aware and somewhat a different person- he may be concerned that the relationship will change between you both. Men are used to a certian relationship with a heavy woman, and for her to become slim will change the relationship in his eyes. That could be a real concern. You may want to talk with your pastor, counselor, or get a psych doc who is knowledgeable about bariatric surgery that can find out his deep concerns and address them (many surgeons require a visit to psych before surgery).

I drug him off to my primary care doc today (for my sinus infection) and asked while I was there what she (doc) thought of the surgery in general and for me specifically. She was all for it. She declared it "a great idea!". Hubby promptly turned into a horse's backside and went stiff. I told her that he had some concerns and she suggested, as some of you did, that we go together to a consultation appointment or support group meeting. He was livid. He felt like I'd somehow trapped him at the doctor's office and caught him unprepared. At least I know that I'll have the doc's support, although she did say that she thought it should be a "family decision" and that anybody looking at this surgery needs their spouse's support. ...sigh.... So, maybe she won't support me after all if he doesn't change his attitude.

I completely disagree with your doctor!!!!!!! It is not a "family" decision... it is a YOU decision. Keep thinking about it - don't get disheartened - and don't give up if it's something that you truly want. HUGS, carol

You tell your husband that your hypocglycemia is most likely caused by our weight, and that the first 2 weels will be rough, but that I was fine after that and lost 220 lbs.. and I rarely EVER have blood sugar issues.

My husband of 17 years is the one that initially suggested the surgery and now that I have had it (only one week out) he is talking about how much of change this will be for HIM! I had to do what was best for my health and if he didn't like it then he could raise our children when I died from other weight related issues! Do what is best for YOU and he will come around in the long run!!

I'm not going to sit back and tell you that anything about WLS is easy....and if you have a family it IS a family decision....because you COULD lose your life. My hubby had some major concerns about my health after surgery, but i believe that most of it was the insecurities of what would happen to our not-so-good marriage after I lost weight and felt better about myself. A year later, i'm here, below my goal weight and divorced...yet happy as ever. WLS makes a good marriage better and a bad marriage fail. Decide which you find most important---Yourself or your marriage