Warning .........its Racy............FYI!!!!! Lets see how long they will let me keep it up here so folks can laugh and we are off!!! A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs as soon as possible due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them > up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If ! you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door ! or after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day 50 pound programme "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."

Thank you! I am relieved to hear that. I am going to a seminar tomorrow night. I want the surgery very much. The problem that i am going to have to battle is my age. I will be 72 in April. Many surgeon's have cut off age 60 to 65. I am relatively healthy and a good surgical risk. I have type II diabetes, bad knees, and high blood pressure. I have been taking very good care of these things, but the weight ( 234) is getting me down. I had to give up Tennis which was my main exercise because of my knees. I had been playing at 200 lbs. No wonder my knees are bad. I have had to have both of them scoped and cleaned up. MY weight has been going up in spite of my efforts to diet. I feel like things are going to go down hill if i don't get this done. I have a lot left to enjoy if i get this help. Thanks again!! Thelma

I also am a smoker. I just started my journey and dont have a date yet. I was told that I needed to stop smoking 2 months before. I started out doing it cold turkey, that lasted 4 days before I caved. I started only smoking a quater of a cig at the end of the day. I have been doing that now for a few days and smoking less every day. this seems to be working. In the past week I have smoked about 3 cigs. In the end I think I want the surgery so bad that this should be all the motivation I need. If you really want to have the wls then do what I keep doing and thats keeping my eyes on the PRIZE :0) GOOD LUCK!!!

Thank-you to those of you who already responded! I am a student at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, doing a research project on the wellness of bariatric surgery patients. If you have five minutes and would be willing to aid me in my research by completing a survey, please email me at [email protected]. Thank you for your help!