Surgeions and state of mind--HELP!!

Ok so I know that surgeons aren't usually the "warm and fuzzy"type and I just need to know if I am being overly sensitive. I went to see my surgeon today for my pre-op and I came with a list of questions to ask him. From my other posts many of you know that this is a medical revision to fix a lot of problems from my old bypass 15 years ago) anyway when I told him I was first and foremost scared to death of the pain since I can not tolerate pain meds such as morphine, dilauded etc. he said I basically was S@#@ out of luck and that I could maybe have an epidural but would wind up with the same intense headache that the other pain meds give me-- which makes a migraine feel like a little nagging headache. And he finally said that if I wasn't ready to have this done then don't do it because it is a very complicated surg and I have to be ready to deal with the pain. I throw up a lot, have lost my teeth b/c of it, on a soft food diet and constantly feeling tired. I don't want to live like this anymore so I have to have the surg done He also said that I won't lose any weight from this b/c I didn't lose much weight the first time so don't count on it now....REALLY!!! Then I asked about the follow up nutrition program that goes with the program for 1st time bypass patients and he said I would not be a part of it but could visit the nutrionist but have to pay separ b/c I am not part of the program....again REALLY...it is 157.80 per visit instead of the 780.00 for the 1st year after care.. I really need this as I couldn't eat right the first time around because I was so sick and took all my protein in liquid form. This is practice is known for its program --before and after care---yet b/c I am a revisionl..I feel like I am not as important and they assume that I should just know this stuff My fiancee went with me and said "who cares about his manner as long as he knows what he is doing." He said he felt much better after seeing him. I don't! I also asked him if I would finally be able to digest meat and he said the bypass never stopped it and when I told him that Fobi Pouch bypass patients showed a higher intolerance for this...he scoffed and said that was not what caused it...REALLY then why was I a meat and potatoes girl before surg and for the last 15 years I have not been able to tolerate meat very well especially beef and pork of any kind? I am scared and mad!!! I need the surg to have any kind of life and unfortunately my insurance will not cover any other practice. PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND BEFORE THIS SURG thanks dear friends for any help you can give me

I am not responding to  this as an expert for the surgery, I am responding to this because I am in the medical field and have been for close to 30 years.  I can say this without a doubt, if you aren't comfy with your surgeon then you have the wrong surgeon!!!!!! You are placing your life in the hands of someone and you are going to be out like a light, therefore you had better trust that person without a doubt! 
I have been obese for my full life and have thought about surgery for 3 to 4 years.  When I found my surgeon I knew he was the one.  I have no fear of the surgery or him doing the surgery.
I have told many a Dr. off in that last 30 years for their inability to be compassionate to patients!
Good luck and I hope and pray you find your peace with this.