Wishing I didnt ever have the surgery?

Ok i am 9 days post op and I wished I never had this surgery.  I feel like I have lost me.emotionaly I am having a hard time dealing with this change.I want to go back to normal.I have had some complications, I got a bacteria in my stomache, which can cause it to eat my stomache away, and ive gotten a rash from the medicines I ve had to take. I cant drink the protein drinks now they make me really sick.I feel like this is the worste thing I ever done. but when I thought it was goinng to be the best.. my husband is hurting so bad cause he just sees me cry all day every day..I am on a anitdepressant and have been for a year now. but it seems its more than that.. my whole thinking is messed up... I want this reversed but how do I do it? Will they even do it? I m scared.. I havent told my dr yet  but I plan on telling him next week...Please someone help me understand why I want to not have it now...If they reverese it can you go back to your self again? How do you get them to reverse it?

What you are going through right now is normal! Half the depression you are feeling is really driven by your mental hunger for food. Although you don't feel hungry, your mind is missing the foods in which gave you comfort. As far as the health concerns, don't worry to much, the doctors can and will fix the problems. Depression is normal after surgery, this was a major surgery and your body and mind will and do need to adjust. Give yourself time and tell your husband to push you into keeping busy and active, exercise will drown out the depression. I was 452 lbs roughly a year ago. I was 418 pre-op, 4 weeks ago. I now weigh 348 and went down 4 pant sizes and two tea shirt sizes. I had blood pressure, sleep apnea, severe acid reflux, weakened knees etc. All I take now is my vitamins. I sleep all night long, have no depression, and love every moment of this new life. I must have told myself, Chris what did you do to yourself??? I said it after surgery at least twenty times. Now I say it because I can't believe I abused my body so much. DO me a favor, give it one month before you change your mind, love yourself enough to save your life and live a long new life. Find the joy within that you never had before, just wait, this too will end. You've spent years hating yourself because of your weight, which is why you made the decision to change, give it time! The surgery will never fail you, only you can fail it! I will keep you in my prayers and hope God blesses you with the strength to surrender your fear, ease your pain and strenghten your courage, you can do this, I know you can!!!  Your friend, Chris

Thank you for your kinda words, Today I woke up and I can hardly walk, i t is so painful, when I did get up Im throwing up some blood, which ive had pain inside of my stomache not near the insion but inside.Im scared.I never had painn like this it is constant pain, seems like it started at my legs, then went to my left fingers, then to my feet and now my ankles  and my right arm, elbow , shoulder and neck...My mom is a nurse and she thinks that I may have heart failure, from not getting the things im needing and all  these symptoms are happening...I dont even think the dr will reverse it if i wanted it but i cant live my life like this at all.. I just want to go back, being fat and having high blood pressure wasnt nothing compaired to this....

Have you called the Doctor? Maybe there is something wrong? Sounds like you shouldn't be in that much pain! I was sore for only three days and tender alittle afterwords, but what you are describing is worrisome. Call the Doctor and tell him he needs to check you out! Keep me posted and let me know how you are doing!  Chris

Kimberly,

I haven't seen an update - are you okay?  I read your post and my heart went out to you! I'm pre-op but you emulate my very fears.  However, I've read several stories that are similar (including a woman who was urinating blood which freaked out the nurse, and ended up being normal).  It's never okay to suffer.  It's always worth that trip or call to the hospital.  You're body just went through sooo much! Take time for you.  There are many who came from the place you are (were on 5/19) that are so grateful now that they are a way out.  I'll be wishing the best for you and sending positive energy your way! 

Thank you so much,Well I am better, but I am still sick alot. I am able to eat a little bit now, but its alot of mind control to not to over eat..And the nights of going out to eat with  family/friends is now over.Everything in your life will change.I am 5 weeks post op and eating is still hard for me.. I dont enjoy food for the flavor anymore, I just eat to stay living.Honestly if I could go back I wouldnt have gotten it done if I knew it would be this different..I hate throwingn up and would give anything to not ever do it again but every few days I do it.My husband is very supportive now he sees that its hard for him and the kids to eat a steak or whatever and I cant eat that.Red meats are a no no.So I dont even try them.And I loved steak.Thank you for thinking of me.And I hope your surgery goes well.

Hi Kimberly,

Saw your message, after 7 years of having surgery.  It took me a long time too.  I don't really enjoy eating certain foods to this day, pork chops, the texture just doesn't agree with me, even if I take little bites.  I don't really care to eat steak or pork chops.  Just eat to what agrees with you.  When I had the surgery, 3 months later I was invited to go on a 3 day cruise to Ensenada.  I was not able to eat what everyone else was eating like lobster, crab legs, shrimp.  I had fruit and vegies, but that didn't stop me from having fun.  My way of thinking now, is I never want to go back.  I have gained some weight now, and now I am looking to losing that weight.

Now that another month has gone by, do you still regret having the surgery?  Are you feeling better?  Please let us know...we are concerned about you.
Paige

Hey, sorry I have been so busy trying to stay busy so I dont just sit around and try to eat.I dont regret having the surgery as much as I did before. I am able to eat pretty much anything now, just a spoonful is about all I can have.I cook for my family and  I still cook the stuff they like and when I cook something I am not able to eat I ll eat tuna in the pouch and a few cooked baby carrots.I am not very fond of carrots but its good for you.This meal last 3 meals for me.All my favorite foods are no longer.I dont order when we go out to eat cause  its way to much. I ll eat off my kids or my husbands plate.usually a bite of there salad is what I eat. I loved bread before but am not able to eat more than a tiny tiny bird bite. I am able to get up and just go and go. I drink sugar free crystal light punch, it taste like cool aid and  i sometimes get lemonade crystal light.I do think back and I wonder if I could of lost the weight on my own. I was put on a strict diet of two protein drinks and  a salad a day and I lost 40 pounds before my surgery and I think how easy it was. I had never been able t o loose weight before but the portein DOES WORK.Now, you ask if I regret it honestly I can answer NO and YES.No for the fact that I am just shedding off weight like crazy, I feel better,look better,have more energy.Yes because im not able to be like everyone else,eating,drinking,and socializing with food like everyone does.I am still learning how to not eat cause everyone else is.I keep my drink with me and drink as much as I can.But if you are planning to have this surgery done you need to read as much as you can on it and the way it really is afterwards.You will be sick  alot, or as I should say I am. I get sick every day or so, jus from eating something too fast, or too much or something that isnt agreeing with me. If I would of known it would of made me feel like this alot,  I wouldnt have had it done. I hate being sick.But life for me is getting better, so far I ve lost a total of 85 pounds. It does get easier as everyone told me, each month is easier.The first two are the hardest.Hope yall are all doing good. I  need to get on here more..Kimberly

Hi Kimberly,
I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better.  That is great that you were able to lose 40 pounds on the protein diet.  Over the past 20 years I have lost 45 pounds four different times!  The protein diet was the easiest, but every time I gain back the weight plus more within a couple of years.  I am not saying that you would have gained it back, but the statistics show that only 5% of obese people are actually able to lose weight AND keep it off.  I know that I will still have to work hard to keep it off, but I am hoping that a RNY will help me do that.  I am afraid of the surgery and complications and sickness that go along with it, but I am even more afraid of being told that I can't have it done.  Thank you so much for letting me know how you are doing and please keep me posted.
Paige