Still around, just not loving life these days
Hey All! I have received numerous emails from OH.com members who are worried about me cause I havent been on here much. Life has thrown me some curves lately and I admit I have walked away from the board since I didn't feel I could offer much support for anyone else. Since the first of the year I have been battling lots of stressful situations in my life.
My boyfriend at the time attempted suicide in January and refused to get help, so I had to walk away from that relationship to save myself and home. He has destroyed some of my walls and ceilings in his rages. I was afraid for myself and my pets.
Then a good friend (and former boyfriend) reached out to me and has leaned heavily on me after a relapse with alcoholism, I had to Baker Act him at a local hospital after he got in a fight with a Rehab counselor who was assessing him for acceptance in their program and I saw anger and rage in him that I had never seen before. After four days in detox, I got to watch him relapse again. What a horrible disease! I am learning to detach and not babysit, but it hasnt been easy because my nature it to help out and nuture those I care about. I started alanon meetings to help me understand this illness and how to support him within reason.
In the midst of all of that drama, I got a roof leak which was a financial blow on top of all I am trying to do to remodel the house already. Then I started passing out after I would get a bout of hives so that started a series of doctor's appointments and testing. The latest on that is that they dont know what is causing the hives but when it happens my BP drops so low that I pass out, so I now have a new friend with me at all times...an epi-pen to make sure I dont drop to the point that I could die. I still have to see a cardiologist and have a battery of tests with them too, but that is on hold because last week my mother was diagnosed with Breast cancer and her surgery is Monday.
So the past few months have been crazy! I want my simple life back with my beautiful dog and no one to worry about except myself. I am going to get back into counseling and try to tackle my co-dependency issues and try to figure out why I attract or am drawn to so many people in my life who "need" me.
Anyway, on a side note, I havent gained any weight throuout all this which means my emotional eating is under control, but I still am struggling with a plateau and the last 40 pounds before I reach goal. I'll get there with some changes in exercise and eating.
Please pray for me to get out of this cycle and pray for my Mum who has a tough battle ahead of her. We are hopeful for positive results after surgery, but could use good thoughts and prayers always.
Love to you all,
Amy B.
Amy you know I am here for you, I am serious. Since you have known me I have had my problems, things are going better for me, or I am just handling them better. If you want to do something just give me a call, you have all my numbers.
My good thoughts will be with you and your family on Monday.
Just send me a e-mail if you need anything and I mean anything.
Hugs
Tracey and family.
Father God, I ask that your arms surround Amy and her family. So much is going on that she is just overwhelmed, her body is stressing....she's running on empty. She is such a blessing to us Father, an encouragement to so many. Please reach down and touch her in a way she will know is only from You. Grant her the finances to deal with the repairs in her house, guide her counsellor as they help her work through co dependency issues. Also father, dealing with the breast cancer on Monday with her mom is major, and she will need you more than ever. I ask your hand to be upon the doc caring for her mom and that mom will do well with the surgery, that they are able to get most if not all of the cancer well, that mom responds well to chemo and radiation.
Father, I just don't understand why Amy is being bombarded, but I know with her in your hands all will be ok. So I lift sweet Amy up to you...because I know there is no one else who cares for her more. May she lean on you for strength and support. Thank you for already answering this prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen
Praying for you Amy....my heart is with you. I think perhaps the low blood pressure and hives are a result of stress. It acts funny on the body. Keep us posted, and thanks for sharing with us. We love you girlfriend, hugs, hugs! Remember, you are beautiful inside and out, and sometimes that old devil just speaks lies into our ears, old tapes telling us we are not " good enough". Don't listen to those lies, let God's truth set you free. I'm so proud of you for not gaining weight through this all!!
love and blessings,Tami
Amy,
My heart goes out to you & your family. You & your mom are in my prayers as she faces surgery and recovery. Take the time to take care of yourself, counseling sounds like an excellent idea. Many of us feel the need to take care of everyone else and don't spend the time and/or money to take care of ourselves and that is often part of what got us to the point of being MO. You've come so far in recent years that I'm sure you can cope with your current situation. Hang in there Hon! The fact that you've dealt with all of these things and not eaten the legs off the tables says much about how strong your mental state & personal resolve are now!! I'm so proud of YOU!! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help!
Vickie J.
Ames, I can certainly UNDERSTAND some of your struggles......it always sems that us people who are kind hearted and good and giving....just get squeezed and squished by those needier or we can't see to get out of the difficult situations....and I don't even count what I have to deal with as bad as you have had lately.....but I have had my fair share of difficult drama...and getting bulimia to boot.........which is not fun....cause I didn't want to go there but once I was there...I couldn't stop the cycle......I had friends that I talked to and they were trying to help but it wasn't until I went to Dr. David Baker Hargrove (who is a WLS friendly therapist) that things started to make sense. I have had about 3-4 sessions with him and I'm finally breaking through the barriers and layers of hidden emotions that were hidden under the layers of fat. He has made a HUGE difference in my life. When I thought about needing a therapist...I was horrified and thinking that I "had it too together" to go to one.....and I tried someone esle but they were not compassionate nor understanding and so I struggled for a while on my own. It wasn't til I called Dr. Hargrove (407-963-5664)..and he's worked with me w/o insurance (mine if out of network for him)...that I'm getting to those layers and finally moving forward. There is a reason why we find ourselves in situation where these people reach out to us and we can't say no.........but we need to say no....at some point. Something is preventing you to lose these last few lbs of weight....I know I need to lose the last 20lbs and it's been VERY hard doing that....but I know I can do and I know you CAN do it as well. We're all here for you and you and your mom are in our prayers and thoughts...keep us posted on her progress. God bless you!
Ruthy
Amy,
You are always in my prayers. I know what it is to always be the one picking up and helping keep everyone else pieces together. I also do it. I must say this year is not as bad as last year. I will add your Mom to my prayer list.
If you ever want to lean on someone and talk you have my cell number. Call me.
You are truly an angel.
IMP
gail e.
gail e. 
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