I need some support..
So, As most of you know, My surgery is scheduled for 3/27. I'm so excited that it is so close, but my bubble has been popped, so to speak. My husband told me today that he did not want me to have the surgery done. He thinks that i can do it with out it. I've been dieting on and off my whole life. He asked me to do the 6 month diet with him, and if I still want it then, I could do it. He then told me that if I did go through with the surgery now, that it meant that i did not love him. I keep telling him that this is for me, and that the decision to do it has to be made by me, but he won't have it.
I'm at my wits end... I love my husband so much. I'd do anything for him. We are newly married and I'm so close to just going to my parents house tonight.
What do I do with this though?
Hi
girl let me start off with I know what your going through I too had my eye on this gastric /laband for about 5 years now and my man told me he didnt want me to get it done and how he thinks I should try other diets and he would do them with me .Well to make this kinda short it now has been two years later since we have talked about it and .Incase you didnt guess by now am still a big girl 330 at that.And the diets didnt work and he still tells me not to get anything done and if I loved him I wouldnt and how would my kids feel if something happend to me and so on ..Well I feel this I been with my man for 12 years comeing this May and I belivie if I dont do something so I might not be around for my manh and my kids .So I tell you this because I though if I wanted to live my life happier I hade to do this for me not no one else and trust me when I say its like your turning your back on some one who cares about you very much but think about it girl .Its your life your pain your weight to live to hurt to carry with you.So I hope you make the rite chose,and hope he understands why you must do it ,p.S some times its not always good idea to run away from the stress or pain .Keep your head up think happy thoughts and hope for the best .In case you would like to chat some more plz e-mail me at [email protected]
Amy,
I am so very sorry that all these things keep happening to you. You seem like such a sweet person. I am so angry with your hubby right now! I know he is probably afraid of losing you during the surgery and is very frightened but what he is doing amounts to emotional blackmail in my opinion. The time to say stop this boat and lets get off was a long time ago not now when you are about to go into surgery in a few days. I don't mean to be so rough on him but you need his support right now not more termoil. Maybe your MIL has been whispering in his ear.
Amy I don't know what to tell you but I do know that for most of us diets don't work and we gain back all we lose and more. In 6 months it will just be 6 months later and you will be starting all over again. Maybe have one more heart to heart with him and tell him that you love him but you have to do this for you. And it is because you love him that you want to get healthy so you will have a long, exciting, active and fun life together.
I will be praying for you and for him that you will come to the right decision that you both can live with. Hang in there girl! You are strong and wonderful and know within yourself what is right for you.
Kat
amy....... With the kinda of work I do, I have learned that there is a time in all of our lives, that we need to only concentrate on ourselfs. I totally understand that you love your husband. However you need to make sure that AMY LOVES AMY MORE!!!!! If this is what you need to totally make you happy then this is what you need to focus on. People change everyday, just as the world turns. That is what makes trends and new technology. For once in your little life please make AMY happy. He is scared and maybe is in the fight or flight moode. Best wishes to you both. I am here if you need me. I have no real plans this weekend so if you want to meet up and maybe I can show him a few pics or even tell him my storie I will be more than happy to. Good wishes being sent your way. Heather
All...
So, After a long talk with my husband, he finally calmed down. He told me he was sorry for what he said, and that he would support me 110%. He was just really scared something might happen to me, and wanted to keep that from happening. I told him I can't promise nothing will happen, but we have to trust God to see us through. So, my surgery is still on! 
I am so happy to hear your husband has had a change of mind. My husband was the same way. He told me I was being selfish, how could I put myself first before the family. And that's just a little bit of what he had to say. Needless to say it was his own insecurities. On top of being worried that I could die he was scared that I would get thin and starting looking for something better. It has been over a year now and he loves the new me and your husband is going to love the new you also.
You are in good hands with Dr. Jawad. Best wishes on your upcoming surgery.
Stephanie
I want to encourage you to stick to your dream... YOUR heart's desire. Your husband is afraid... afraid of losing you. Afraid something will happen during the surgery and he'll lose you (we all have that fear before any surgery). He's also afraid that once you lose weight you won't want to be married to him anymore. My husband had that same fear and I hear that all the time from others. My husband came to the realization that I was not going to back away from having this surgery no matter what he (or anyone else) said. I did all I could to reassure him that I love him dearly and I would love him fat or thin. However, I would not give up my dream. I had my surgery July 2003, I've lost 115 pounds and my husband is very happy with "the new me." In fact, after seeing how well I did, he had GB surgery in November 2004 and has lost 105 lbs.
So.. if having this surgery is your heart's desire, don't let anything stop you. God Bless you... Dr Jawad is the BEST.
I am so glad that your husband turned the corner and is saying he will support you now. I know it is a scary option for those who love us, but they don't walk in our shoes. Sad but true, people who are not morbidly obese have no idea the struggles we face daily (physically and emotionally). You have to do this for yourself and he will be amazed as you turn from a cocoon to a butterfly in a matter of weeks. Plus, he gets to watch firsthand all the wonderful new things you acheive as the weight falls off. I bet he will become one of your biggest raving fans in a short period of time.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Amy 
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