Dating questions

Ok, I hate to ask, but I need everyone's help on this one. I have a very close friend who needs dating tips. I've been married for 8 years (as of yesterday) so I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. She is a 31 y/o, plus-sized woman, about size 26/28 and is worried about what is considered the "right" things to do on a date. She needs a little guidance about what is acceptable and what isnt, generally speaking. I know alot has to do with her own morality and conscious, but she could really use some suggestions/tips. Here are a few questions she's asked recently. Do guys pay for dates these days or is it a dutch thing? Do you let a guy pick you up at your home anymore or drive yourself? What about intimacy, when is it ok to get physically involved with a guy? What are considered unacceptable dates? How do you say your not interested without hurting someone? Would you consider posting online? Would you date a guy you met online? Any suggestions from men or women about the questions asked or anything related would be greatly welcome! thanks!

I have also been out of the dating scene for quite sometime also. This January my DH & I will have been married for 20 yrs. But I have a younger sister who is 36 y/o and has recently reentered the dating scene and I can only give some tips on her experiences. She has posted her profile to a couple of the dating websites and has decided that for at least on the first so called "date", she meets the man after work (she doesn't want some wacko knowing where she lives) for a couple drinks & light dinner and she pays for herself this time. With this first meeting, if she doesn't feel like there is any chemistry between them she just politely tells them she enjoyed meeting him and appreciates him taking the time to meet her but she just doesn't think there is a future for them. Sorry, I couldn't give tips on all your friends questions but I hope it will help her. Wish her luck in her dating adventures. Tammy

If you're dating from meeting online, then you definitely have to meet in a public place and don't let him come to your house. Safety first! Be up front and establish the ground rules. Ask the man if this is dutch treat or his treat. I personally think he should pay and if he says it's dutch, I'd be pretty suspicious and uneasy, but that's just me. Stay as far away from physical intimacy for as long as possible. It's VERY important to build up the relationship before sex because if you give the man sex too quickly, then that's all they wanted, they will never respect you, they might have only been in it for that and now you've given it away and the men like the chase. I'm saying all this from my own moral standpoint, but I also saw it on Oprah from the man who wrote the book "He's Just Not That Into You". Do NOT have sex quickly! As a single woman, living alone, I always either made sure someone knew that I was going out and with whom or where, or I left a note in my home in case I disappeared. You just can't be too careful these days!! I might do an online dating thing, but I'd be very cagey about personal information. I wish your sister luck! Jan

nothing wrong with asking. I'm in the trial period of dating and i am registered with some dating sites. whether heavy or slim dating is the same for everyone in terms of what to do - and teh key is to stay safe. Do not have anyone come to your residence. Always meet in public and don't accept any drinks from strangers which he will be for that first time. Even though you're gonna go out there to have fun caution should be exercised. I would think to expect that he wants to date me that he should pay but I would ask about it. Don't expect anything and be pleasantly surprised if it turns out to be something nice but I would not get physical unless it was going somewhere positive as I would not like to feel used. If it don't feel right - move step away and you don't have to say anything if it dosnt' go well..you can I'll call you or he may say that to you and never call. Good luck to us all in the dating pool!!

You've been given lots of good info from the others and I agree with what they have said. I will add that I always anticipated paying for myself, but have never had to do it. Most men in that age bracket, atleast so far with me, have all offered to pay for dinner/coffee/drinks/whatever we decided to do. I have met men off a couple dating sights (bbwfinder.com and americansingles.com) and have met a couple "interesting" characters but also met a few decent guys. If she meets someone online, I suggest she talk to them on the phone a few times before she actually meets them in person, that is a true sign if the conversation would flow or not. Once I had established a rapport, I have always asked them what exactly they are really looking for and found there are many men in their 30/40's who are just looking for a friend with benefits or something more casual...make sure she knows what she wants too. Unfortunately, at that age, many men are divorced and just not ready for another committed relationship again yet. Lastly, and I'm sorry to say, but in my experience as a BBW dating, I met many men who saw dating a big girl as "easy" or a fetish (ewwww), so definitely tell her to avoid anything physical for as long as possible to weed out those types. Unfortunately, there is a weird perception among some idiots out there! Again, this is just based on my own experiences and/or my opinion. Good luck to her!

Ladies, thank you so much for the information, she appreciates it greatly! I have to admit though, I didn't know BBWs where considered a fetish?!