WHAT DID YOU TELL PEOPLE???

HELP ! WHAT DO I TELL MY JOB ???? I don't know what to come up with. BOTH of my bosses are VERY pissed that I didn't share the reason I was having surgery( I know, I know It's none of there buisness)( and yes I've heard of HEPA laws)(Privacy laws) But that still does not really help me, I work for a school and the Principle and her drone are out to get me!( for leaving them to do my work and not telling them whyI was going)( I run the office)(Discipline, Guidance, Student,Parents,Attendance,Text books , the list goes on and on!) I am a great worker, I take pride and I am a little anal retentive at times, but that can be a good thing. The principle is new and "SHE" ( what a difference having a woman for your boss! ugh!) Anyways I need some ideas on what I can say , I have a feeling that their going to ask me if that is what I had done, but I WILL NEVER TELL THOSE PEOPLE!(their ruthless) Their going to wonder how I lost so much weight, ( according to the WL chart I will be down 40lbs. or so by the time I return Nov. 28th) and my eating habits are going to be SOOOOOO different( we used to eat out all the time) This is going to be hard, cuz "they" (everyone, including teachers) will not just ask once and be done with it, "they" will continueously make comments or ask questions and if I do not have some GOOD , BELIVEABLE answer WELL......:"they" will just make one up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I called down town to the school board and told them after speaking with my boss,that I got the feeling she was going to try somthing, well she said, straight out, that she "felt taken advantage of and "SHE" was going to go by "THE BOOK" ! (WHAT THE !@#!) I told her I HAD to have MAJOR surgery!!!!!!!! Anyways, Down town said that they wanted me to go one extended leave (no pay) to PROTECT ME, to have the Doc. office keep me out longer and the principle CANNOT write me up then. (so in return I'm gonna stay gone for 8 weeks!!!!!!!!! HA!) H_E-L-P M-E !!!! I can't think of anything to say upon me dreaded return!!!!!!!! Love you guys lots, Lil' Red

WOW! I had it so easy compared to you and others on here. I would continue to refer to it as a "major surgery" and tell them you prefer not to discuss it. Let them assume what they want! And when you return, you can chalk it up to gaining perspective and wanting a healthier lifestyle. You really won't be fibbing

Goodness!! I would not want to be in that situation! I have worked the same place forever and it feels like family so I told everybody. Most people are not as free with personal info as I am. I would just say that you needed major surgery and you are feeling better thanks and leave it at that. Good luck! Terri

Red, Stick with the major surgery and leave it at that. I too worked at a school in Jax and nothing was ever private. Good luck to you. Kat

Thanks alot, I know I can ALWAYS count on you guys to be there for me. Love you all, LIL'RED KEEP THE POSTS/ADVICE COMMING!

Somewhere down the line they'll find out from someone. I find it better to just be honest. I've told everyone from the day I decided I'm going to have it. And you'd be suprise as I was everyone already knew someone else who had a form of WLS or another. And thus everyone has given me their encouragement and every time I see them they want to know my progress. Red just be Honest with yourself to honest to them. You'll feel better and it'll cut your stress.(which causes me to eat) Always with caring thoughts, Mike

So let me get this straight. Your bosses aren't concerned for your HEALTH, they are just angry because they don't know what medical procedure you're having?? I would politely say that you are not required to divulge your medical information and I would continue to say that and if they continued to ask, I would find out what action you might be able to take. Also, there's no reason for you to stay out so long following surgery if you work in an office. You may be asking for MORE retribution if you "milk" it and just be asking for trouble. I'd go back to work. Imagine how angry they will be if they find out what surgery you had and that you stayed out for 8 weeks when you didn't have to! This is just my own opinion but I don't think you should return evil for evil. Jan

Red, I told anyone who asked that I'd had gastric by-pass surgery. If they pressed further, I just said that it was at my doctor's recommendation due to health problems - all of which is true. For me, it is easier to be honest with everyone. Besides, eventually you'll tell your friends and most of your co-workers will find out anyway. In your situation, you need to do what is best for YOU. If you're always a very private person, just say you had "major surgery" and leave it at that. When they ask about your weight loss & how you're doing it, tell them that you're eating less (smaller portions) and eating healthier - which will also be true. As for staying out of work longer... I took an early retirement from an elementary school b/c of my health, but now work part-time at the district level. I stayed out 2 full months after my surgery without pay, since I have no benefits but I did it b/c it was a slower time in my job so my absence wasn't a major problem and I could afford to miss those paychecks. Since you're at a school, I know there is no "slow" time while school is in session. Talk to your doctor about how long you need off to recuperate & would he write a letter stating that. I wouldn't go for "longer" just for spite, but I would take off whatever time the doc recommends. When you go back to work, you may want to tell your principal what you've had done, so that she is aware that there may be days when you're under the weather due to food problems. If you've exhausted your sick leave you may have to take leave without pay if you're out sick and that CAN get you written up for excessive absences. If your boss knows the situation, she may be more understanding in the early months of your recovery. And if she isn't, at least you've covered yourself IN ADVANCE, by telling her what is going on with your health. I look at it this way - I've never known of anyone who had cancer surgery and tried to keep it a secret. 99% of folks will be curious and supportive. Many will be secretly thinking about wls for themselves or loved ones and will have lots of questions. If my experiences, the good or the bad, can help someone else, that is what I want to do. As for that other 1% who think you're taking the easy way out, or who pass on horror stories just ask them if they had cancer, would having surgery, or chemo, or radiation be taking the "easy" way out - then ignore them!!!! Hang in there! You'll get through this and it is sooo worth it in the long run! Vickie J. 277/164/152

How about when they ask, just stick to your plan and say "I did have major surgery and don't feel comfortable discussing any of the details further at this time, but thank you for your concern and caring and I really do appreciated it." and if you really want to lay in on thick can add "Knowing I have such a caring friend is very comforting". What can they say after that.

I also worked for the school board. Contact the union and tell them what's happening. As far as the new eating style go for either a healthier lifestyle due to the major surgery. A couple years ago a teacher returned from summer break alot thinner and said it was due to medifast so 10 other teachers and the AP joined the program. Anyway, I know how tenatious teachers and the staff can be. Just stick to your guns and your privacy and don't forget the union. You can ask them questions as well. They will guide you in the right direction, even if it means threatening to bring your administration up on privacy charges. ~Rebel Lady~ starting 310 date of surgery 290 present 230 dr. goal 190 my goal 160 TOTAL LOSS 80 lbs GONE FOREVER