angel?

Hello there, i have mostly been a lurker (i think i've posted maybe once or twice before this) and i have to say first of all, how much i love reading the posts on this board! I am getting closer and closer to having this surgery become a reality....looks like i will be having surgery sometime in November if all continues to go well. Now that its so close....i'm going kinda nuts! Lol.....i am sure many if not all of you have been there. I am absolutely petrified one minute, thinking- what am i doing, how could take this risk, do i REALLY want to do this? And the next minute feeling incredibly excited and happy and picturing all of the things i will be able to do after surgery. I know these feelings are perfectly normal, but it is highly frustrating not to have anyone to talk to that really understands what i am going through. Key word here is "talk"- i love these boards and the internet in general but when i really need/want to vent my feelings, for some reason i find it hard to write them out.....i guess you could say i prefer to be able to vocalize my feelings. Aside from all of the many "normal" issues and feelings associated with the surgery, I am freaked out by the possibility that I will be alone at the hospital. Which it looks like i will be- my hubby is in the army and wont be able to be here with me. Has anyone else had to go though the surgery without friends or family there? How did it go? I feel kind of stupid for getting so freaked out about it, i feel like something can go wrong if i'm there by myself. Which is ridiculous, I know.....the surgery is going to go how its going to go regardless of who is there. But hey, since when is fear logical? Anyway, to make a long story short(er), I am looking for an angel. Someone i can really vent to, someone that understands all of these crazy feelings, and finally, someone who would be willing to communicate primarily via telephone. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it so much. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Sarah

Hi Sarah, EVERY word you have described is EXACTLY how I feel about my possible upcoming surgery. You are having normal feeling but it is so much better to VENT about them with people who can give you support you need. I think you are doing the right thing by questioning yourself and making sure you are really doing what is best for you. As far as being at the hospital alone, that sounds pretty sucky . I am really sorry for you feeling so lonely already, and your not even there yet. Do you not have family or at least 1 friend who could maybe be there for you? If you haven't an Angel, I would be honored . Just let me know and I will email you my phone number ok? Have a peaceful night, Brenda Lee.

I was in the hospital alone. I had one person that I worked with come and visit me the first day for a few minutes, while I was still in a drug-induced haze and I had an "angel" who came to pick me up, but the majority of the time I was alone. It was fine. There are lots of nurses and techs and respiratory therapists around, that it's not like you are really all alone! There are people around taking care of you and giving you drugs and taking your blood pressure in the middle of the night, lest you sleep for more than 2 hours in a row! Hopefully you will be able to find an angel to come and stay with you, but if not, you will still be just fine. Good luck on your search! Jan

Where are you having surgery?? I don't know where Miramar is what is that close to? But congrats on you up coming surgery.. You can count on us being here for you and if you are close enough to me I will be happy to come be with you thru this.. Cyndee

I'm having surgery in Wellington (west palm beach), which is about an hour north of where i live. Though i am getting nervous about the surgeon I am supposed to be using....he's barely done 100 surgeries, and i just dont get that feeling of safety, its hard to describe..... I'd wanted to use Dr. Vaughn, but my insurance (tricare) wont cover his proffessional fees, and he's out of network. But when i went for my consultation with Dr. Vaughn, I left very impressed with him and his staff, and feeling for the first time since deciding to pursue this surgery that i was going to be just fine....i really felt comfortable putting my life in his hands. I'm just not feeling the same comfort level with the surgeon Tricare wants me to use. I'm thinking about looking for another surgeon who is in-network....i dont know. *sigh* Thanks so much for replying!!! If you or anyone else know of a really great surgeon who will accept Tricare (as payment in full) or better yet, is in network, please let me know. Thanks again!

If you don't feel comfortable and the surgeon has only done 100 of these surgeries, then by all means, RUN!!! This is your very LIFE you're talking about here and it's not worth the risk! Find someone you feel you can trust, after all, you're going to have to live with the results of this surgery for a very, very long time. Either that, or continue to do research on this newbie surgeon. Good luck and be CAREFUL. Jan

Sarah, Sent you an email. I couldn't post to the board for some weird reason. Hope you got it.

Hi Sarah, I have been a lurker myself mostly and have posted more today than ever before. I am finding myself in need of a little more support as time goes by. This website is great and the people are great. If I was closer to you I would come to the hospital for you, but I am in Jacksonville. I will be with you in spirit however and would like to give you my phone number if you want it. I am 3 months out and took 2+ years making this decision. I am so happy that I have though. I lived with headaches everyday from the high blood pressure and just miserable from being so heavy. I only wished I would have done it sooner. Anyway email me and we can exchange phone numbers.