QUESTION OF THE DAY...

To tell or not to tell? Who to tell? I have noticed that this is a question that comes up often on the boards. Is it a good idea to tell your friends, family and co-workers about your surgery beforehand, after or ever? What is your opinion, advice, ideas and better yet... your experience on this subject? For myself, at this point I have told only my immediate family including my parents and 3 sibblings. I have asked them not to tell ANYONE else. I DESPISE being "checked up on". I like privacy, especially in the area of my weight. Matter of fact there is not a soul on this planet that knows my weight and has discussed it with me besides Wildcat Lady (Kim). That is not including my docs and my profile of course but nobody outside of you all know about my profile. In all honesty, I wish I could have done this w/o even telling my family (besides my hubby and kids of course) but it would have been impossible for them not to find out. Anyway, this is just where I am at and who knows, later on after I have lost 100lbs and am feeling great and hearing comments from people, I may decide to tell them what I did. If it will help someone who is MO that has an open mind, the I KNOW I will not be able to resist sharing my story. That's what it's about right? Paying it forward... Sallykate

Sallykate, Oh the choice..........Well I told everyone. They could agree or disagree, I cared not. This was my choice and only my choice. If they cared enough about me they supported me, if not OH WELL. You know me, I try and make every body happy. BUT, this was to make me happy. And no ones business but mine, If they wanted to give me their 2 cents. I politely told them, until you walk in my shoes, don't talk my talk. That usally worked. Besides the IMPORTANT people unserstood my feelings. The one person that gave me the hardest time,(my Boss) is now one of my biggest support people. So the best to you my friend, you deserve it. You are truely beautiful. tina

I only told the immediate family. I refuse to tell those who criticize me for the weight gain. Those that assume too much. I am pretty private myself. So far I have had no negative feedback at all. Everyone is very supportive. I am thankful for that.

Only my three children and my husband knew what kind of surgery I was having. After my surgery when I had gotten into my room, I called my best friend and said, "It's either snowing in Miami or I just had weight loss surgery this morning." She screamed. (We had always told each other that we would have to be really desperate to have surgery.....and I was~) The weeks after surgery I let my brother and sister-in-law know and then my aunt and uncle. Some people I waited until they asked about the weight loss......some people still don't know and it's been 19 months now. It's a personal choice. luvitsunnyvB~lo/goal

I told everyone expect one part of my dad's family. I even announced it to my entire class, because some people knew and I'd rather tell everyone on my terms instead of gossip going around. I had a good response from everyone. Then the relatives who didn't know ended up at the same hospital I was at (2 hours away) with their relative who had major complications with WLS (that's a reason we didn't tell them I was having)...but my mom came up with a good cover story as to why she was there. Sarah

I don't mind telling people that I am wanting to have it done. Perhaps this is my way of seeking my own approval. I don't know why I need reassurance. I am just like everyone else that has done every diet on earth and done what I could in the way of exercise..and still have only gained weight. Most of the people around me are supportive..but one of my best friends still thinks a miracle will drop down upon me, the ruptured disc in my lower back will heal completely, my arthritic hip will rejuvenate, and my good ol' Fibromyalgia will quit bugging the stew out of me. I suppose miracles do happen. But I don't see this one coming..so I want the surgery. If telling people what I want will help me find others with information that I may need..then so be it. Besides..my town is very small. The fat girl doesnt get skinny without being noticed..and this way they will all know I wasnt on meth