off topic: mad at hubby!!

I am just frusturated and need a sounding board. My husband lost his job about a month ago, and he is trying to get in with the sheriffs dept, which is a long process. Anyway, he just decided that this Thursday he was going to go to work with his friend. The thing that kills me is I dont trust his friend. I am usually a good judge of character and there is something about him I cant put my finger on. His friend is contracted out to do fiber optic and cables and stuff, and he is paying my husb from his salary. Now I am not sure why I am so upset by this. I dont know if its because I know his friend cheats on his girlfriend with his ex-wife, or the fact that he uses jamal all the time for rides (while his van was broke) or to borrow money. And they wor****il like 8-9 at night. 12 hour days? come on now! Everytime they go out they end up at a bar. That bothers me too. I dont know if this is just my hormones or what, but I cant stand it, when he gets home I am such a B****! Help!!!

Talk to him, Tell him how you feel. Not after a 12 hour day but when you are alone and don't have something pressing going on. He needs to know how you feel about this. Good luck, Kat

You do need to talk, and then let it go. If you keep nagging him on it, it will only drive him away. Share your concerns, and be careful how you do it. Use phrases like (I am feeling hurt, etc) Don't attack his friend or it will put up his defenses. It will be hard to let it go once you talk to him, but you have to. Make the times he does come home pleasant. Give him a hug when he comes in and thank him for working. Make him a good meal, and look atractive too. Even if you are mad about the long hours. DH is a big boy and has to make his own decisions, and that includes work and friends. And he has to live with the concequences. You can't worry yourself about the what if's...you are not his mother,and we certainly know we cannot change our men, just ourselves! So vent when you need to. Remember you have to be careful not to let things upset you now, it affects your whole system and puts it in knots. I care and am sorry you are hurting. love and blessings, Tami

The other two posts were good ones - I really dont have much to add except vent on us - talk it through and we are here for you !!!! Misty