my son told me he wants help....

Ok .. Here it is .. My younger son is going to be 12 in August and came up to me this weekend telling me he has a problem with food. I almost wanted to die...... I did not even come to grips about how my eating habits effected my son.. I am such a bad mother. How could I have let this happen. What the heck was I thinking... The poor kid, we sat down and talked for about 2 hrs and he told me some things that made me just cry. And I never cry in front of my children. How he is teased for being somewhat heavy and that he has been spit on, slapped, called ugly names... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS DONT THEY SEE A GOOD KID???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I just feel so terrible about it... I have to get him help.... I have to put all my emotions aside and help him... If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them..... Thanks......

Hey - I wanted to write in response to your post b/c Im only 10 years older then your son and I understand! It was 10 years ago and even less that I was in his shoes. Fighting every day to stay away from the kids who would tease me, or running from those who would stereotype/talk about me! Heck it happened with my own brother at home. Personally I have had a weight problem since I was 6 or 7. My mother put me on Richard Simmons when I was 7 and since then Ive been on diet after diet after diet - leading me to WLS. My advice is to help him b/c he wants to be helped. But coach and support him. Please dont ever tell him he needs to lose weight - or he better before hes too old, etc. Monitor his eating - find ways to make healthy eating fun, get him into sports and an exercise routine. Go at it the healthies way you can - a way he can help himself for life. Dont scold him for anything though b/c thats what i think starts emotional eating. Mom used to get on my case so I wouldnt eat in front of her- Id hide it in my room and eat it when she thought I was sleeping! Please feel free to email me for further advice! -Gina Olson [email protected]

Emily, Oh I wanted to cry myself when I read your post. I have a 9 year old grandson that had to lose 8 lbs last summer. This was so he could play football with the boys his age and not older. I was so mad. But because I am a very PLUS sized person,and he knew he could talk to me about anything, we talked. I agree with Gina. NUMBER ONE do not tell him he MUST lose weight or go on a diet. #2 you are very lucky he came to you , so besure to talk straight to him . Let it be a learning lesson for both of you. Learn how to make good choices together. I found that my grandson did better when I had him help me in the kitchen. We read labels and without relizing it he lost 10 lbs. We continue when he comes over to visit. I am sure he is not as good at home, but at least he thinks a little about it. I wish you both the best and will keep my finger crossed and in my prayers. gail

Emily, My heart goes to you as a mom in the same situation. My son is only 14 and weighs 186 pounds. He is very self-concious and it does effect him (won't take his shirt off at the beach, etc...) First of all, pat yourself on your back, you can't be a bad mom if he felt comfortable and safe enough to come and talk to you. I was so happy when my son did. Then I knew I could help him WITHOUT offending him. I told him right away that I was sorry for anything that I may have done that contributed to his weight gain (ie...fatty meals, fast food, etc...) once he told me he really could forgive me, I was ablet o forgive myself. I can't change the past, only help going forward. Next, I told him he HAD to pick out some physical activity. He was kind of stumped, but we threw around any ideas that we came up with (right down to joining a paintball group)...I told him to pick something that HE really wanted to do. We found an activity that we both agreed on. As he got more active in that, he found that he liked sweating and felt better after "working out". He started walking the dog with me...then started running at night with the dog. We started buying and eating healthier foods. It's helped him mentally as well as physically. Be there for him and let him talk. That is REALLY key!!! Call me if you need...I'm in P'Cola-only have a out of state cell phone right now...but feel free to call. Email me if you want to talk privately. Good Luck!!! Laurie

I may have taken a drastic way out but now I homeschool my 8 year-old son. Because of one mean kid the whole class picked on him. The hardest part about homeschooling is you have your kid with you 24 hours a day. Cory

Emily, I feel for you my son is 10yrs old and kids today are so mean and so cruel. No wonder why America has a BIG problem. It has changed since I was a child. I was overweight and my weight has caused big problems while growing up. Now I am on great product that my whole family does and my little 5 yr old has weight problems. Actually let me repeat my self she had weight problems until last month. Dont' listen to your doctor who says just cut back on the food and we know as the big eatters that we were that doesn't help. If you want to know what product my kids and I are on just E-mail me. [email protected]