small people and bashing wls.

I just found out who my good good friends are after telliing some of my small friends that I am having the surgery done. They have no idea how it is to be heavy. How can they judge me and say im lazy. I have tired and tried to no evail and gained it all back and then some.. How can they say that to me. Im not lazy, I work, cook, clean, take care of my children, walk when my feet are not hurting from carrying all this weight and do my best to avoid temptations..IM TRYING.. I just need a boost. To help me lose so I can get healthy. Its like im trappt in my own body. I know I will never be a size four, or look like a super model, i just want to look healthy ....

im sorry this is happing... stay brave!!

Your small friends just don't understand the extra toll it takes on your body to accomplish the same tasks that they also do every day. They don't realize that it's not the same when you're carrying 100+ extra lbs. Before I had surgery, my biggest luxury was having a housekeeper that came in every other week to clean my house. Now that I'm nearly at goal, it's really no problem to do the work myself and I actually enjoy it, to some extent anyway, let's not get ridiculous here!! HA!. The difference is that I'm not so tired all the time from lugging all that extra weight around and I'm considered a "lightweight" as it is. I have NO idea how some of the super folks do it, when I know the aches and pains that I had. Just chalk up your friends' attitudes to ignorance. They haven't been there and they couldn't possibly understand, but we do!! Jan

Tell your small friends to strap 50 pound water cooler jugs to their back, under their arms and on their thighs and see how far they can run, jump, walk or whatever. They really have no idea how difficult it is because they see you moving around and participating in life, cooking, cleaning and taking care of your children as an obese person. My boyfriend at first was against this surgery and I told him to go up and down the three flights of stairs in our building carrying 150 extra pounds and then he could tell me how easy it would be to exercise at my size. Yes, I did participate in life as well but it took all of my energy to get through the day and the pain I slept with in my lower back, hips, legs and feet every night was awful. I think your friends are just misinformed and uneducated about being obese and about WLS. Good luck and don't let them bring you down. ~ Trish -65 pounds

Hi Emily, Sorry to hear that the support you thought would be there isn't. I know how you feel. I told my best friend and she went off. Her coment was, "If you can do it with surgery, why not just do it now." I was so hurt. Then I talked to a friend who has had the surgery and she said you can't let anyones negetive opinion keep you from doing what you want. She had friend and family who didn't understand and she had the surgery 5 years ago. She is doing great and all those who didn't understand now say it was the best thing she could've done for herself. Well, I took her advice and I don't care what anyone says, I am doing this for me. It's about time that we all look at ourselves as worth of the help and go for it! Hooray for all of us!!! Lori

Have you heard of the Empathy Belly? It's this contraption that you can strap on to *begin* to understand the physical stressors of being pregnant. We used the Empathy Belly is childbirth classes - we'd strap it on the husband, boyfriend, partner or coach, so they would start to understand that simple tasks such as tying your own shoes, or getting up from the bed or toilet, even walking to the mailbox can be a major feat (if even possible). Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could use the Empathy Belly at info sessions? Bring the doubters and lt them all have a go for, let's say, one hour with the thing on - if they could last that long!! I had my surgery on Octoober 25, 2005. Sometime in December, my supposedly "brilliant-attorney-second cousin" called my house, while drunk. She has always, always had a major battle with her weight and if I was heavy (my Mom, too) she was happiER. Nice person, huh? Well, to make a long story short, she thought that she hung up on me but really didn't, the line was still open (so much for the "brilliant" part). She went on this HUGELY PROFANE tirade about me, how lazy I was, how could I do this to HER, etc. Finally, the kicker, "Well, she's going to DIE!!!" The fun part was informing this moron that I was still on the phone. Anyway, the point is, there are many of us who have toxic people in our lives - we may be married to them, friends with them, or they may even be family. You don't need THEIR head trash. We all know - and you do, too - how hard you are trying, how difficult it is to even pick up a gallon of healthy milk or yogurt - at the back of the store! - without being bombarded by temptation every stinking day. I know that I don't have my second cousin's support, so I steer clear of her. I need as much support, love and positivity around me as I can. I am not sure if I have cut her out of my life at this point, but I sure know that if she cannot respect me or my decision, she's not going to be around my house. Thanks for letting me vent. Hang in there!! Kristen

Hey Emily, I hope you are feeling better about who your friends are but you do what is right for you and everything else will be fine....and who knows you could end up being a size 4 and look like a super model and drive them all nuts........ Cecilia 250/141/133 soon

Keep the faith. You are doing the best thing for you. It will be a long road. But the best one. Keep us up. And bless you. tina

You find out who your REAL friends are when you're in the hospital, jail or having WLS. Now you know where they stand - and to not speak of it again to them. We are here for you - we understand were you are and where you going. I've gotten some negative feedback - after the surgery - but I don't care I did it this for ME and the one benefiting is ME so forget them. You don't have to justify your reasons for doing to anyone - just know you need to do it for health reasons and to improve your life if they can't accept this - it's time for new friends. Good luck to you!

I am a hairdresser and went back to work 1 1/2 weeks after surgery. Here I was with tubes still hanging out of me and another hair dresser said to a client, "She took the easyway out and I had to loose 60 lbs the hard way!" this girl took pills...as far as Iam concerned she took the easy way out. She has said this more than once in the past 8 weeks...I am about to not be responsible for my actions. Cory