Spiraling down - and screwing up

I don't even know where to begin - but I feel like I'm spiraling downward. Today is my official 6 month anniversary and it should be happy but for the last few days (almost 2 weeks) I had some kind of negative trigger and was feeling like I was losing my mind literally. This is not a happy time. Today I screwed up again - and not only did I have a bit of food with drink (soda) when my tummy started hurting - came home and forced myself to purge. It's really not as bad as it sounds - I did some running on the treadmill.... I guess it's time to see a psych doc,huh?

Hey there. Don't worry about a tiny incident (aka soda) Everyone slips once in awhile. Remember...It is not the slipping up that matters..it is how you pick yourself up and try again..right? Seeing a psych is a personal decision and may help you. I can't hurt...only help. I know what it is like to feel like you are losing your mind. I sometimes wonder if I even have one! (coming from a psych major myself ) Cheer up girl- we are all here to support you in whatever you do!! Kim

Hi Ruth, let me tell you how importatnt the psych doc/counselors are in this journey:jUST AS MUCH AS YOUR VITAMINS, OR YOU SURGEON! Remember what Omar said a couple of weeks ago?:"It is just a tool, it gets to the point, where it becomes up to you what the outcome will be" Your anatomy has changed, but who will take care of your emotional eating? Who will take care your of the triggers that put you in the situation you find yourself? Not the surgeon!! Your counselor will! If you feel like you will need to see someone, do it!!! I have been seeing a counselor every week since my surgery and I am just fine now. What you did is not bad, we all slip here and there, I just want you to remember that we had this procedure so we could lead normal lives and not live in slavery to foods forever. You are just fine, I guess you would flip if you knew what I eat/drink nowadays... It is a balance, all in moderation, it is a life still change, just because you had a bad day, it does not mean that everyday is going to be like that. It is that old "diet mentality" coming back... You are fine, you have mad egreat improvement and one little slip here and there are not gonna mandate you or the outcome of your journey! Hope this helps. :hug: Vivi!!

Ruth, WLS isnt a magic bullet nor is it brain surgery, there is NO way anyone can make all the adjustments to our diet and lifestyle without help and support. Some of us need professional help, some rely on the boards or support groups and some just need their doctors to help keep them in check. Whichever avenue you choose to seek out, please make an effort to do it soon. Beating yourself up over drinking with your food or having a couple chicken wings is not emotionally healthy and may lead to emotional eating among other things and then a vicious cycle begins. Isn't that where we were before WLS? You are a bright woman (I know cause I've met you), re-evaluate what your opportunities are and make the effort to make improvements, if you can't do it alone then find some help or support. Most of us struggle at some point or another so you are not alone in this, but you must work on your self-esteem/internal talk so that you arent tearing yourself down while you are getting thinner, this is a journey in TOTAL wellness~body, mind and soul. Take care, Amy -166lb.

Ruth, I'm not like some others and can't give you permission to make poor choices. I also can't say it's ok. You yourself know that you may need some help right now, since that's what you said and I think you would undoubtedly know yourself better than anyone else on this board. I think Amy is on the right track with her response (I often agree with her - she's got a good head on her shoulders!) and I hope you are able to find the help you need right now! You've come too far and there are things that are going on that need to be addressed. I wish you the best, Ruth!! Go get yourself back on track!! You can do it!! Jan

big ol hugs for you!! i see a theripist twice a week... it has helped so much

I totally understand how you feel after you've slipped... I can beat myself up so much that I end up eating MORE to try to deny the feelings. This is hard stuff to deal with, I mean, if your best friend died, it would take you time to grieve her, right? Well, 6 months ago you DID lose your best friend - FOOD. Now we have to cope with the feelings that we've swallowed (literally!) our whole lives. I see a therapist, plus go to group therapy once a week. I can't tell you how the support from these people helps me (and Im still pre-op!). They will encourage you, but snap you back on the path if you stray. It is so nice to know that someone CARES about me enough to call me out on my behavior. It isn't easy, mind you, but it is necessary in my book. Think about it... you don't have to grieve alone, there are people out there just waiting to support you! Blessings, Kelley