OT: broken hearted :(

ok.. for those of you who dont know... my brothers a very big part of my life... my 11 yo is just being absolutly rotten... i dont know what to do with him... ive tried ignoring him... but i just cant... we gotten in physcial fights and im so very sick of him.. well anyway... his birthday is commin up and i went to micheals and i bought him all this cool stuff.. some to makin his own gummy bears and to make a ginger bread haunted house... so anyway.. this was a particually bad day with devin... just overall bein an asshole.. he was callin me a b*tch every other second... so... i told him to quit it or i was takin his b-day present back... of course he didnt so... i showed him what i got him.. and that i was taking it back to the store after class the next day... and i did... i walked out of the store crying.. he was upset.. i was upsetter i gave my other brother the gummy bear thing,,,devin was very upset to see this and kept givin me dirty looks.. i hated that i took the stuff back to the store and i feel so guilty... but i dunno.. so thats what happend

Hi Alexa: I am sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like there could be anger from deeper emotions. He may just be taking out on you. You should consider counselling and let the professionals do what they bo best. That is just my .02 cents. Good Luck.

I've never had kids, so what do I know. I've heard that if you threaten a certain punishment (taking present back to the store due to behavior) you have to be ready to follow through. Your 11 year old knows that you took the present back as a DIRECT result of his behavior. Why do you feel guilty? He made his OWN choice. He did the behavior and now he has no present. That was not your doing, it was what he chose himself. Kids have got to be SO hard!!!! Jan

I have raised two daughters but I would say the exact same thing. Kids can be the biggest con artist and jr hi is the worst. All harmones and no sense! It does get better eventually.Just try to think of it as a temporary situation....because that's what it is. Kallen

First of all: I applaude you for having the strength to follow through with it. It is not easy, but you are a better parent for it!!! BELIEVE ME!!! Second of all: I doubt he is ever gonna test your waters and call you a ***** again. If my son ever even said that word in front of me I think I'd turn him inside out with one hand. You also have to think where he is hearing and seeing this kind of behaviour. Could be school, friends, TV, or even at home! I too, think you need to take him to see a prefessional, if you don't think you can handle him. Do it before things get worse. He may also be entering puberty. Who knows?! Still, no excuse to act like that! If you have a health insurance that would cover it, then use the plan! Take him to counseling. If he hates the idea, even better, he will think even harder next time he wants to act up! At least you will know better how to handle these situations. family couseling is a wonderful tool! Good luck and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!!You have to show strenght when the situation calls for, just as you have to show love and care to your children! That is what makes them good human beings, who understand order, limits, kindness and respect. Flavia