***How did You become fat?personal and deep story

BEING FAT and personal regrets?? Do you have any regrets, thoughts, things you put off or didn't do because you were fat?were you abused as a child? Alone? just liked to eat? what happened to get you where you are today? let's open up and get personal ... here's mine I had always been thin even after having my two children.. when I divorced my husband in 1995 and began dating again..I met a wonderful guy named Jeff.. Jeff and I became very serious and in turn started becoming sexually involved.. after about 9 months of dating..I decided I would get the depro provera birth control shot ,I didn't want any more children and thought I was being responsible. after the first month on this shot I had gained over 15 pounds..I started to become depressed and withdrawn. Jeff had no idea.. Now to put perspective on this relationship..My kids loved him..I loved him.. we were quite serious..He loved me and he loved my kids.. he didn't care that I had gained 15 lbs in a month.. to be quite honest..I don't even think he noticed..BUT I DID.. after 2 months 15 lbs turned into 33 lbs and I shut my self off to the entire world.I wouldn't go to the grocery store..I wouldn't go to church..I didn't leave my house. When jeff would call I would talk with him for hours like nothing had happened..but if he came over I wouldn't answer the door..I would act like I wasn't home.. or tell him I was sick.. I cried every night and everyday..I missed him, I loved him but I was so afraid to let him see me getting fat.. after about 5 months of dodging him he took my absence as me seeing another man.. which it was never true..I finally allowed him to think that because I didn't want him to see me this way.. I went from 122 lbs to 235 lbs.. over 100 lbs I had gained in the 6 months I wouldn't allow him to see me. It was the worst thing I could have done..not only had it played out my emotions but his too.. I know he loved me and I know he wouldn't have cared about the weight gain..BUT I DID!! I sometimes think of him now.. What could have been.. But I am remarried now and have another child.. gaining weight was the end of my life as it was..but was the beginning of my new life as it is today.. I loved Jeff and I wish there was a way for me to tell him that there was never anybody else.. It was just my pride that got into the way.. but that may even be a bad thing to say.. If I really loved him ,I shouldn't have cared about the way I looked.. just as he wouldn't of cared about the weight gain.. BUT I CARED..I was so vain..I hurt him and confused my children.. I wish I wasn't so immature about my looks and my weight .. that is my regret..

PART 2: My Dr.Said I would maybe gain 5 lbs a year from the shot..that was not sooo.. I gained over 100 lbs in the 6 months I took the shot and the weight never went away..until I had surgery.. I too thought maybe I was just using the shot as an excuse.. But I wasn't..It was the shot.. and then it was depression.. I was so distraught over my weight gain and losing my boyfriend..I planned my death.. I had saved over 30 xanax and planned on downing those while the kids were at there fathers for the weekend.. but my plans were interuppted by my appendix..yep.. I woke up that morning.. thought that would be a great day to die.. went to work.. and about lunch time started getting major cramps.. pain so bad I passed out.. I forgot about my death pack and went to the ER come to find out..It was my appendix and was rushed to the OR.. the next day I was released from the hospital and was sent home to recover..my children stayed at theri fathers for that entire week.. and that's when I decided I didn't want to die.. I felt like I was dieing when I was in so much pain and all I could think about was my children with out their mom... It was god's hand touching me.. and I am glad it did..

I hope you reach your goal and live the life you deserve.. remeber..We only live once and your never to old to live.. your only as old as you think you are, do something today that you wouldn't have thought of doing yesterday..plan something tomorrow that you regretted not doing the week before.. live a day on the spur of the moment.. call an old friend and tell them you thought of them today.. live each day like it would be your last.. make your dreams a reality, live life,live to tell about it!! your friend, lisa

I guess for me, I had been overweight since about age 7. My parents decided to move to FL from NY and while they and my little brother made the transition, I stayed with my grandparents for 3 weeks. During that time, my grandparents let me eat whatever I wanted. Since my parents struggled financially, I never had the chance to eat really good food, but with my grandparents, I could have all I wanted. They spoiled me rotten. By the time I got to FL I had gained 15 pounds and that is a lot of weight on a 7 year old. I started my first diet at age 9. I dieted again at age 14 and lost 30 pounds. I was at my smallest size which was a size 12. Slowly through high school I went up to a size 14, then 16, then 18 after high school. The weight just kept piling on because I used food as a reward rather than something I needed to survive. I dieted like crazy all through my 20's. I would lose, then gain, then lose. We all know the story. I did great on Phentermine, but eventually gained the weight back. I got fed up, decided that WLS was my best route. I am so glad that Oct 12th is the day I will start my life over again.

I've been overweight ever since I was a baby. I weight 13 pounds when I was born. And I just kept gaining weight. At the age of 8 I weighed 200 pounds and was teased a lot. My family started moving though from state to state due to the Military. I lost a lot of friends and continued to hide within my own walls, eating and gaining weight as I went. I finally hit 260 at the age of 13. School was almost impossible to put up with, at one time I had thought about ending my life, but I kept going. When we moved, and my grandma passed away I gained a lot of weight and reached my highest, which I am knocking on again. 320 Pounds. I've never went over this. It's depressing ... I've tried everything .... and the weight just won't stay off. :shrugs:

Heather, I can't imagine how hard it was being 260 at age 13. I struggled with my weight a lot at that age as well. I am sure it had to be really difficult. Kids are cruel, especially at that age. I am glad you are making the right step to get healthy. I am glad we all are taking control of our lives. You are going to do great!

Lisa, Thanks for the touching story. Its nice to hear of other people's stories. As for me. I was born into a large built family. My father's family has a history of obesity and big bones. I was always "plumper" than the other kids from around 3rd grade on. In High School I became active and was on the swimming team, student council, and did cheerleading. I even won Homecoming Queen at age 13 for Pop-warner football. When I was 16 I became a lifeguard at the city pool and started dating my husband at age 17. When the summer ended and we went back to school is when I started gaining my severe weight. I then gradually made it up in the 200's and within 5 years I was a size 22. When I got pregnant in 97 I was 283 pounds. I have managed to keep my babyweight off with both children so I have never gotten larger than a size 24 (290). I guess you can say my weight gain was from being too happy and comfortable in life. I never found myself wanting to kill myself, and I dont remember ever being deeply depressed. Yes.. I have always been embarrassed, sad and ashamed of my weight. I think I just accepted the fact that I would always be fat for the rest of my life. My DH loved me the way I was and didn't care if I lost weight. He is thin, and "wants" me to be thin, but said he will never love me less. Thats why I think I have never been seriously depressed. I work in a "well-to-do" lifestyle, and everyone of the Mom's are thin and pretty and some are famous. I am so excited that I am on my way to fitting in. Thanks for sharing you story. It gives me much encouragement. Kimie Post-op 6 days

No, it wasn't easy at all. I hated school, I eventually dropped out because of the kids in school. When I went to college it was totally different. The people were more acceptive of 'fat' people. They seemed to be more cheerful then high school kids. All the high school kids thought of was 'how can I look cool? Oh I know! Let me show off to everyone by picking on '! I learnt the last year I was in high school though, how to stick up for others. Someday, I'll be the beautiful person ... I've always visioned in my sweetest dreams, getting the man of my dreams and living happily ever after. Or at least, close to it.

I was always tall and big for my age so in my mind I felt sensitive about my size. I felt fat even though looking back now I just matured early. However, at age 12 my dad died and during the next four years I put on 60+ pounds. When I sent to college I developed bulimia and anorexia and lost a lot of weight fast. THe weight came back though. I tried all the fad diets and had a lot of visits to doctors who had a "weight loss pill". I kept gaining despite my efforts. My weight went to almost 230 and my health was beginning to suffer from it. Last September I started exploring the idea of weight loss surgery. I applied, was approved, had lap RNY surgery 12-15-03 and today I weigh 120. I feel good. I'm happy. I appreciate each day and the opportunities God sends my way. My prayers for all those who shared. Luvit~SunnyV@goal

Lisa, I was always overweight. My dad was obese, and I followed in his footsteps. When I was small, I was husky, big boned, chubby, pudgy, and every other cute term you can imagine. As I got older and diets failed, I got heavier. As an adult, if I had a sedentary job I got bigger, if I had a physical job I got smaller, of course the sedentary jobs won out and I got bigger. I am almost 6 months post-op, I am smaller now than I was in high school, when I get to goal, I will weigh what I weighed in junior highschool, when I was a lot shorter. There are some things I missed out on being obese, some are gone forever, others I can do now, or will be able to do soon. There are no regrets, life is too short to worry about what was, I need to live for the future, not the past. Steve