Help?

Hello everyone I have not had surgery yet but Have made the descion to do so, Iam getting all my pre-op testing done now, I want this surgery because Iam diabetic with high blood pressure and it runs in my family, my father passed away at 50 from it mother has it to,,,,,talked to mom about it and she is furious to say the least........my mother and I are very close but she wont even speak to me,,,,,,,,my husband is not real supportive either but at least he listens ,,,,,,,so I dont know how do I get the support I need from the people close to me when they wont even talk about it?????? Thanks, you guys are the best I have learned so much reading all your post!

Shawn, Hello I do hope if this is what you really want that you get to have WLS. If you have a Doctor already and he has support group meetings you could start by having your husband go with you if he'll go. Also you have to besure they understand this is for you to be healthier, not just thinner. I 'll say a prayer that things go well for you. Remember the journey could be long so one step at a time. Also I'll send a little dust of wishes your way. gail

same problem here.stick with it-we are here for you -with my husband he is this way because he thinks i should stay this way and with my mother she is being the same way because she thinks there are other ways to do this without the risk and she worries about surgery

Shawn, It's amazing how different people react to our "coming out of the closet" about our intentions isn't it? I had similar reactions from those around me...most people thought I was taking the easy way out and REALLY gave me a hard time. Worst of all my mom threw digs at me here and there about how it [WLS] wasn't going to work for me and so one. After my grandmother (who has had the surgery too) sat down and had a "sensitivity chat" with my mom, she hasn't lightened up-well atleast she listens but I know she's still not all for it. My aunt and uncle won't even speak of the topic! I was hurt until my psychologist at the psych.eval said people react like this out of fear for the patient most times...so try to consider that too. On the plus side though, I had my grandparents and father's support and even the support of a really sweet co-worker who was just as elated as me today when I found out I was approved. Different reactions are bound to happen, the negative reactions just tend to "suck" but try not to take it too personal...they may be scared or they may be uneducated about all the advances and the procedure. And don't forget, this is NOT, by any means, the "easy way out"...you're in this for life. You hang in there and stick to your message boards on here for added support.

My mom finally understood when I took her to a support meeting before my surgery, the lightbulb turned on. My husband was supportive but after he met my doctor, he felt so much better. I did show my mom websites and before and after pictures....she started to get excited for me then, but the support meeting really helped out. Maybe include her more and also your husband in your research. Tracey

Hi Shawn, I was in the same boat as you. My father died at age 56 from diabetes, heart condition and morbid obesity. My mother did not want me to have any kind of elective surgery. Eventually she came around and said if it would make me happy than she will be happy for me. My husband stated that it was a waste of time and money since I failed at so many other attempts to loose the weight. But I told him I was doing it for myself and did not care. He took the week off of my surgery to help take care of me and our two daughters. After the surgery when I woke up he said he was proud of me. So hang in there!!!!! Your family will soon see how important it is to you to get healthy. Keep your chin up and soon you will be on the loosing side with the rest of us. Christine 307/255/140

Hi Shawn, I started out kind of slow and easy with my family and friends. First I let them know I was thinking about going to a seminar and doing some research on the surgery. This did not go over great with everyone except my husband. He has supported me all the way because he knows how I suffer from arthritis and recently high BP. I let everyone know, as I did my research, what I was learning. I really believe that education is the key. The more informed "we" became, the more supportive they became. In the end, all the people that matter to me knew this was not the "easy way out" and they accepted my decision. I hope this helps you. Best of luck, Joy