Random Thoughts & Feelings As I Move Closer To My Surgery Date
I am finding some really amazing people on this website. I have to say I have been very fortunate in finding real people that can communicate from their hearts and grace the pages of our highway of information with sincerity and intelligence. Kudos my friends, for there are days that I don't know how I'd make it through this journey without each of you!
I am trying not to focus on the count down to my liquid diet regimen. It's rough though because I have been reading posts about going through the carb withdrawal's, suffering mood swings, depression and sever headaches (at least up to 3 days). I am supposing this is where we start to mourn the "death" of food. I kind of feel like I am putting to rest my best friend, confidant, lover & protector. I know this sounds sick, it looks sick as I sit and type it. I'm just being honest with the way I feel, but I promise I am not some freak...ha ha.
My husband is afraid. I do my best to comfort him but I am sure I'd feel the same way should it be the other way around and it was he that was getting this surgery done. I just continue to offer him support and information when he is ready for it. He is a good man, just not sure he wants his wife to risk her life to change her life. He just doesn't get that each day I stay super morbidly obese that I am dieing each minute that passes and sooner than I need to be. He starts to cry when I explain it to him so I hu**** up and console him and he is fine. He doesn't want to face it and I can't force him to. Ah, my man child
...lol!
I am facing some fears of my own. Everyone knows of my friend Kathy on here that passed away last month, if not, she was a super lady! She passed due to misplacement of her nasal GI tube placement. That is one of my fears. I am going to get straight with the surgeon when I go for my pre-op. MAKE SURE YOU PUT THAT TUBE IN MY POUCH AND NOT MY LUNGS! Then, I think I have an over abundance of nervous energy too. I am staying as busy as I can. I am cleaning like a mad woman and libeling my drawers for my hubby to be able to find things. I am leaving him in charge of the check book, Lord help me there...lol!
Well, I am going to close this. I am going to finish my bedroom and then I am going to cuddle up with my hubby and snuggle. I found that we have forgotten how to do that over the years..LOL! Everyone be blessed this Mother's Day!!!!!
I am trying not to focus on the count down to my liquid diet regimen. It's rough though because I have been reading posts about going through the carb withdrawal's, suffering mood swings, depression and sever headaches (at least up to 3 days). I am supposing this is where we start to mourn the "death" of food. I kind of feel like I am putting to rest my best friend, confidant, lover & protector. I know this sounds sick, it looks sick as I sit and type it. I'm just being honest with the way I feel, but I promise I am not some freak...ha ha.
My husband is afraid. I do my best to comfort him but I am sure I'd feel the same way should it be the other way around and it was he that was getting this surgery done. I just continue to offer him support and information when he is ready for it. He is a good man, just not sure he wants his wife to risk her life to change her life. He just doesn't get that each day I stay super morbidly obese that I am dieing each minute that passes and sooner than I need to be. He starts to cry when I explain it to him so I hu**** up and console him and he is fine. He doesn't want to face it and I can't force him to. Ah, my man child
...lol!I am facing some fears of my own. Everyone knows of my friend Kathy on here that passed away last month, if not, she was a super lady! She passed due to misplacement of her nasal GI tube placement. That is one of my fears. I am going to get straight with the surgeon when I go for my pre-op. MAKE SURE YOU PUT THAT TUBE IN MY POUCH AND NOT MY LUNGS! Then, I think I have an over abundance of nervous energy too. I am staying as busy as I can. I am cleaning like a mad woman and libeling my drawers for my hubby to be able to find things. I am leaving him in charge of the check book, Lord help me there...lol!
Well, I am going to close this. I am going to finish my bedroom and then I am going to cuddle up with my hubby and snuggle. I found that we have forgotten how to do that over the years..LOL! Everyone be blessed this Mother's Day!!!!!
300 lb HW / 289 lbs Pre-op /281 lbs Day Of Surgery 
Diane, I could have written many of the things you wrote. From the amazing people on the website, to the lose of my best friend and confidante, FOOD. I, too, don't know how I'll feel about it, but when I put the question to those who have come before us, I get the feeling we will be alright. It won't always be easy but I think we have teachers who are guiding us through our journies.
My honey is also worried. He's still asking if I am sure about this. I try to comfort and assure him, but only time will ease his mind.
I'm sorry you lost a friend to negligent health care. Here's a guardian angel.
We have the same surgery date so I'll be thinking of you. Good luck. See you on the losers bench.
Missty
My honey is also worried. He's still asking if I am sure about this. I try to comfort and assure him, but only time will ease his mind.
I'm sorry you lost a friend to negligent health care. Here's a guardian angel.
We have the same surgery date so I'll be thinking of you. Good luck. See you on the losers bench.Missty
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