NON WLS related - PARENTING!!!!

Ok I'm sorry to post but I am so livid I can not talk to my son. I'm looking to my OH family for some words of wisdom - or at least a suggestion for a drink to make me passout!!!!! Ok here goes - my son (21 in Jan) came home tonight with his eyebrow pierced. I know some of you might think I am over reacting, and maybe I am, but he works in banking just like I do and I swear he's doing this to get himself fired. He hatse the job but it's a good paying job and he's not out breaking his back in construction or working in retail for next to nothing (no offense to anyone in construction or retail). He wants to have the WLS done and has good insurance (aetna). I was so upset when I saw him walk in the house this afternoon that I could not and will not speak with him. Someone tell me how to handle this. God knows I have no clue eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Oh boy - I have been in THAT boat!!! I have two daughters, just turned 16 and 17. About two years ago we went through that piercing stage, they made me nuts. Luckily I had to sign for them to be able to do anything. I let them get a couple of things, but no tongue piercings. Of all the crazy things they wanted, I'd suggest something "not as bad" in my eyes and they'd finally compromise. But if they would have been able to get piercings without me - I shudder to think LOL. So, after them getting various infections and hassels with the piercings, they slowly gave them ALL up and are actually normal looking teenagers now!!! Well, if there is such a thing! It seems your biggest concerns is how it looks in regards to his job. I don't blame you there, I feel that way too. I expect to see someone with piercings if I'm in Hot Topic in the mall (like I really go in there lol) or a clerk at the movie theater, but in a bank? Well, the eyebrow isn't as bad as a tongue piercing, in my opinion, but people are so opinonated these days, I can see how you don't want people looking at him negatively, not to mention his boss! As far as how you can handle this? Gosh that's rough. He's almost 21 but then again he lives at home with you so you are still boss. You not speaking to him probably lets him know how you feel about it. Just let him know how you think it makes him look and that's not how you want your son to look. It's hard, probably no matter what you say, he'll take it wrong (my girls sure do). One negative thing about the eyebrow - everyone I know who had that piercing, at some point, got REAMED by a hairdresser who wasn't being careful, the comb or brush caught the piercing, and in most cases, ripped it right OUT of the eyebrow - major owww! Luckily my daughter took hers out before that could happen. I wish I could be more helpful. Lets face it, we are just "mom nerds" as my daughter puts it. According to them, I have no fashion sense whatsoever. But what we do have Barbara is TASTE!!!! We want our kids to look their best. Chances are he'll tire of it and take it out in time, or someone will make just the right comment and he won't like it, and he'll take it out. I just wanted you to know I feel for you, and hope things go ok with him. Good luck!!! Disclaimer - I hope no one is offended by my comments. Piercings and tattoos are part of our society, but as a mom, it's hard to accept sometimes. I don't mean that people with piercings have no taste. We all have our likes and dislikes and what one person thinks looks good, another person thinks looks bad. A piercing may look good on a rock star - but not OUR little babies!!!! End of disclaimer.

I appreciate your response. I'm beside myself and I can't understand why because I'm pretty liberal myself. As a matter of fact, I just paid for Christopher's latest Tatoo which is an aids memorial for his dad. Why this eyebrow piercing has affect me the way it has had me tossing and turning all night. I don't judge others when I see the piercing, I think they're pretty brave to pierce body parts like that. In a way, I think my reaction is a cry to him not to grow up! I just hope that he's ok @ work because, I seriously can NOT afford to pay for his health insurance, car, car insurance and cell phone if he's fired. I already told him if he loses his job as a result of the piercing, then he will forfeit the car because I will sell it. Give me stregnth!

I freaked when my oldest daughter got a tatoo three years ago, but she's an intelligent adult....married, with a child and has a fantastic job as a Marine Biologist. She was raised rather concervatively.....and she knows how her dad and I feel about these things. We never made an issue of it, but I think she has some regrets now. Don't let this situation divide you and your son even though, I know you are by his action.

Check out your bank's personal dress code/appearance policy. They could very well have a policy against any visible tatoos and/or piercings. Kristen

Reply times two. I thought of you yesterday when I was at my friend's house. She was telling us the story behind the big ugly tatoo that goes across and around her shoulder. She's 41 years old, married with 3 kids, really neat lady. Well when she was 21 she got a tattoo on her shoulder, on a whim, while on a trip. She realized about half way into it the guy was drinking and asked him if he would be able to do her tattoo correctly, and of course he replied YES, that he always drank while doing tattoos and he was very talented. Yeah right, her tattoo came out all crooked and awful and she was sorry she'd done it. She said once she got home she went to another tattoo artist who designed something to kind of go over it and add to it, and turn it into something better. So now she has this big picture of whatever going across her shoulder joint and a little down her arm. Her husband is an executive and when they have to attend a formal function she always has to find a dress that covers the entire shoulder. She said that stupid tattoo has affected her life so many times and it's her biggest regret. So I guess the moral here is, at least your son didn't get a tattoo - a piercing can be removed and the hole will close. Hopefully he'll only keep it until the thrill wears off, and take it out! Or, like the other reply you rec'd, check the company dress code, if piercings are not permitted, maybe you can show that to him and he'll take it out. I do wish you the best in this situation. Please keep us posted. Take care and have a nice, chilly Saturday! Jeanne

One last thought that may be of some assistance. Whenever I have counseled employees for their attire or "personal fashion and accessory statements," I have typically offered three pieces of advice: 1 - Dress for the job you want, not the one you have; 2 - Dress the way your boss does; and 3 - Wear clothes that look good on you (within acceptable code limits, of course). Dress codes are in place to make both the internal and external customers comfortable, improve perception of the company and for safety reasons. What if your son bent over the pick up a paperclip, whacked his eyebrow/piercing on a desk and caused bodily damage? It can be argued that it is a workplace injury. There is likely a dress code policy against visible piercings as I cannot imagine any employer wanting to pay Workman's Comp for a piercing injury on the job. Extreme example, but one has to think of all scenarios in HR. Kristen

I wanted to take a minute to thank you all fro your response. I have been chatting with him trying to find out why he pierced the brow - he says it was just something he always wanted. He's a good kid, and I always hear how well mannered he is and polite. So I guess, I'm being old fashioned. His employer hasn't had a problem with the piercing - thank god he's not working for my company cause he would have only had an OPTION of removing it or losing his job. Happy thanksgiving everyone!!!! Barbi