Update on husband leaving me.

still sending thoughts xoxoxo

I need some sleepy thoughts. The Zanax only helped me sleep a few hours this morning, nothing since.

Hi Tracey, I am new to the boards and dont want to just barge in and give advise... HOWEVER, I am not new to the pain of divorce and the feelings that accompany it... I want to tell you something that I learned the hard way and over the past few years I have seen this in other womans lives... It's a given fact... IF YOU CHASE ANYTHING.. a bug, a kid, a man.. .they run... always.. but if you live your life ... go about your day and do the important things... Live, love your kids... laugh with your friends.. stop mopeing around.. and live... celebrate every breath... find nature walks.. and flowers.. and look at the sky.. and say.. Thank God I'm alive.. I have so MUCH... start a list of all you have... start with the obvious... I have hair.. i have eyes.. i have etc.. and the deep things.. I have friends, I have my children.. I have a new lease on life... and then read it often.. start with 100 things.. and then add 10 or more every day... No man.. wants a woman that chases him and tells him how sad she is... honest.. i was there... i look back and if someone would have told me the same things.. i probably wouldnt have believed them.. but it's true.. when i finally got on with my life.. my husband came back around.. he begged me to work things out... unfortunately life had gotten very scrambled by then.. and we didnt get back together.. he is marring his girlfriend in the fall and they have a little baby.. He and I talk nearly every day about our kids.. and we are very kind and good to each other.. it's taken a few years.. but had i just left him some space and let him figure this out with out pushing him.. it probably would have been different.. So heres the hardest thing you'll ever have to do... Nothing... Trust me I know... what I am saying.. dont call him .. have a couple girl friends who you can call day or night... but dont call him... heck if you need a phone buddy... I'll email you my number.. .but, leave him be for now... He will miss you in time and then he'll be able to process things for himself.. you cant do that for him.. he needs to remember why he loves you on his own... He loves you.. you love him... let him have space... you'd be amazed how he'll notice you when he thinks you arent noticing him.. Now take care of you... enjoy those blessings (children) God has given you .. .and laugh... dance... sing... and be good to you... and for gosh sakes eat & rest... make living your goal.. and things will fall into place.... I'll be keeping you in my prayers... Cheryl

I had to go to the ER today and he showed up to take our daughter so my mom could stay with me...instead he stayed with me. He didn't want to leave, I finally said please leave, it will look funny if I say I am upset my husband left me and your sitting there. I totally understand what your saying and I will be doing it for sure. Tracey

Hi tracy: I don't know if you remember me, but I meet you at Cafe Tu Tu Tango. I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. I'll pray for you. Keep in touch. Hugs, Heidi

Thanks..and I do remember you. Hugs Tracey

I'm at a loss for words...but I think someone posted something really intersting about giving the hubby space and not seeming like you can't go without him...because I believe YOU ARE stronger than anyone!! You have gone through hell with the problems of the house and sooooo much more.....and I'm sure he has also and this is his way of dealing with things...but I want you know that my prayers are with both of ya..but you are STRONG!! Take one day at a time, girl!! Hugs, Ruthy

Tracey, I have to agree with some of the previous advice given. Sit back, relax and let him see the changes in you naturally, don't press the issue or be clingy. He is going to start missing being around you and the family soon enough. You guys have lived in a crazy environment for so long, the quiet will start to bother him. Plus, staying with you at the ER was a great sign that he still cares very much. Be patient and focus on you and the kids. They all need to feel safe and that none of this is related to them. Kids invent crazy things in their minds around separation, so wrap your arms around them and make sure they don't see your pain or hear your frustration. Keep us posted and call if you need anything. Amy

I agree also with the advice. I wish I could relax actually and sleep, I am only sleeping in 3 hour time spans so about 15 hours since Thursday. I am not being clingy or pressing the issue at all. I don't know what is going to happen, but as of now I know I can't trust him again. I do agree staying with me proves he cares and he says he still loves me, he wishes to remain friends thru this and beyond. The kids are doing quite well, Jesse is stepping up and helping out finally. Nikky is adjusting well, Troy didn't treat her with the respect she deserves, he was always picking at her about something. Kate is Kate...I am trying to get her to understand she don't run the house and I can finally do this calmly. I am trying to comfort them at every chance I get, but it is very hard to hide the pain and frustration from them. Thanks so much Tracey