Thought it wouldn't happen to me

Thanks Ruth Hugs! I am up and down right now, still trying to get to sleep but that isn't working. I will probably be calling Dr. Hargrove about counseling...I am seeing my PCP tomorrow in hopes of getting something to help me emotionally, which I needed for a long long time. I am hoping all we need is time away and sorting, but I still have to protect myself since the whole lawyer thing was already done. I will let you know if I need anything...thank you Tracey

Tracy, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I can't imagine feeling the emotions you have right now. Maybe he will realize what life is like w/o you and make an effort to patch things up. Sometimes we never really appreciate what we have until it's gone. I know that sounds sooo cliche' but it really is the truth! I too fear that my fiance' and I will not make it sometimes. I feel like the surgery and the changes wil push us apart. I just try to hold tight and make it work. You hang in there and I bet he's back the second he realizes that life is great with you, the woman he originally married to spend the rest of his life with. peace.

Yeah that is how I am feeling right now, doubt if he is feeling the same way though. We will see what happens, I am going to keep on going on with life, I have too. Thanks Tracey

Tracey, I'm not very good with words and never quite know the right thing to say to bring someone comfort, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs! Betty

Thank you Betty Hugs. Congrats on your approval. Tracey

Hi Tracey, I see you have had so may replies. Know that you are not alone. I have not even had the surgery yet. In my heart I can already feel that my marriage may have problems after surgery. I guess he feels that my personality is going to change. He has cheated on me before and during our marriage. I look at it this way. I gave my all and have always tried to please him. I have always tried to do everything that makes him happy . I was so worried and bent out of shape trying to make it work. I forgot about myself. Now I'm 329 pounds fatter!!! Don't get me wrong. I love my husband with all my heart, but at this point in my life. I refuse to go down that road again. Sometimes its not about you and really a way of hiding something else. Not to throw anything in the fire or make things worse. Are you sure there is no one else in the picture? That's strange for him to say that and do another. Hey like the gentleman said before!!!! There are plenty more guys out there that will find you attractive and beautiful. If he went behind your back and gotten a lawyer, and is also trying to get custodity. He needs a good kick in the butt . I'm sorry, but yes he did betray you. Don't feel guilty or blame yourself at all. Sure its gonna hurt like hell. I've never felt a fire that's hotter than the fire of a broken heart. Cry it all out for a day or two, then play Destiny Childs Survivor. Pick up your head and turn the situation around. Make him feel like he is losing the best thing that has ever happened to him. Put on your make-up, perfume and best out-fit . If he loves you he'll think twice and come back. Act like you dont even care. For some reason men love the bit.... Make him think like hey what happened to her. I thought it was all about me. Once I started acting like this I haven't had any more problems in that department. If it's meant to be it will work itself out . Pray about it. God will see you through. What ever you do don't blame yourself. It takes two make a marriage work.

Thank you so much for your words, they hit home with me. If there is someone else it is guy friends that play with him. I am so confused right now. He don't know how to do the banking so I had to call him and tell him the bank balance so he don't go over...also to inform him I am going to the PCP tomorrow and taking money out. His was his voice was chipper and even laughed with me about his day of training someone, he hates to train. I told him I was seeking help from my PCP and that I would like to talk to him sometime this weekend about stuff, he jumped in and asked when? I told anytime, we could go for a walk and talk for awhile he said ok Sunday we can do that. I told him I love you when we hung up and he said I love you too. I am just going to try to relax this weekend and see what Sunday brings. Hugs Tracey

I am so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you. If you need to talk or just vent we are always here for you.

Hugs Angie thank you so much. I am sure I will be venting more and more as the days go by. Tracey

Tracey, I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope things will work out for you with your husband, but always remember that things happen for a reason, and even if your marriage isn't meant to survive, YOU ARE!! You are a wondeful, kind, interesting, compassionate woman and any guy would be lucky to have you. And if your hubby doesn't realize that, it will be his loss! It sounds like you're seeking help for yourself, physically & legally and that is good. Take care of yourself and secure a great divorce attorney. It he is going to go after custody of your kids, you'll need the best lawyer you can afford. I hope your hubby will agree to go for counseling, but if not, get some for yourself to help you cope not only with your previous stress, but this new stress as well. I hope your pcp will be supportive and refer you to someone else if that is what you need. I hope you will be able to come to the conference in Aug. I'm sending you hugs now, but I want to give you a hug in person, too! Give the kids an extra hug for me and tell them everything will be OK - sometimes moms & dads just need a little time apart to think about things. If there is anything I can do for you, drop me an e-mail. You & your family are in my prayers. Hugs! Vickie J.