When you still dont fit in.....

Nope has nothing to do with clothes,lol. But why I really dont say much.

My whole time on this path, I rarely if ever truely came across anyone in even a slightly similar boat as myself. Most all had food issues, health issues (mainly insulin resistance and such), meds etc etc that caused the weight. Thing is I was healthy, I was sickeningly healthy other than weight. Even the day I hit 402, yeah I wasnt happy cause there was no containing my weight. No one understood why at all. Blamed my eating (which I wasnt a huge eater), and other things but that wasnt it. Cause I shouldnt have been so healthy at that weight.

Folks I cant even being to say what its like to walk down a path completely alone. Especially such a life changing one. I finally got the answers all these years later (Ive been plauged since birth). And I have some of the most rare effects of the autoimmune I was finally DX with (mast cell activation syndrome). One in particular caused my obesity, not my eating, not anything else.

It gets tough to read sometimes people saying we all got fat from bad food or too much food. Im walking living proof of that frame of mind shouldnt be held. To me its almost as bad as saying you just need to eat less and dont need surgery. Ill be honest some days my DS annoys the **** out of me. Cause I HAVE to eat even when I am not hungry. Oh I love good food, but I dont just ever eat to eat....isnt how I am. And then there is my allergies so what some would suggest as options are impossible. Hell I react to certain fillers in meds and vites. I have to spend forever dealing with finding ones that dont freak my body out. Course my body now will sometimes freak from going up a set of stairs. (Thanks MCAS).

For a while I actually thought I may have been in denile over my eating, but it wasnt till my first shock episode which ironically happened at my lowest weight (come to find out I was a mere 18% body fat@ 207lbs). Ive spent 2.5 years chasing my body cause things werent better at that weight and I had to find out why. Do you know what its like to be allergic to stainless steel, med fillers and react over most nuclear meds but HAVE to do it to go through tests attempt to find out? It sucks royally. Or have people question you when you say something "gold standard" was so far off because your issue causes readings to be off. But no it cant be wrong when 2 other tests for near the same thing read more along what your body goes with. Im sorry that my body hurt your held beliefs that "gold standard" medicine is infallable.

Im just glad to have answers now, but it allienates me for most things related to surgery even more than before.

At least you have answers, but you still have to deal with the MCAS. You are alone with that, but you can still get support.

You were helpful to me back when I was researching back in '07 and surgery in '08. Are there any groups for MCAS on the internet or for autoimmune? I'm sure that you've explored and are continuing to see if there can be any relief.

Hugs and prayers Nicole.

Thanks Chris!

Yeah I can help on knowing "normal" DS vite routines and the way the DS basically functions . You dont want to get me started on the full spectrum, and I could nearly explain what it does to everything in your body, and to say the least....eat fats liberally. LOL. Ive had to learn so much lately because what I have is massively systemic, there is no, lets break this down and attack. Its called I have to know all the cause and effect stuff....my brain could explode. LOL.

Now if people want to know the best vites with as few fillers as possible, Im your go to, lmao.

As for relief, its antihistamines both H1 and H2 receptor blockers. Not much I can do otherwise. Ive read a ton and am pretty aware of it all now. And know pretty quick if I need a blocker. And explains why benedryl tended to wire me (blocked my body from being overwhelmed by the histamines) and IBprofen is a sleep aide (it relaxed and reduced inflammation).

What a way to have to become an expert on what goes into your body.

Are you in the Chicago area? I'll be in Chicago 6/23-28th. Sat & Sun are consults for Dr Sauceda, but if you are close, would love to get together. Plus, I'm trying to find a place for dinner for the group on Sat night.

Chicago is about 4 hours from me, I would do the drive as I havent been to Chicago in years but Im going to be in Vegas that week. :(

Darn, it would have been fun. I'm sure you'll have fun in Vegas. Dr S will be back in Vegas next June!

I can relate to the obesity despite the best efforts. I was never medically diagnosed with a reason, just accused of exaggerating about how little I ate. As a kid, I was an athlete despite my obesity and obese despite my activities. I continued growing as an adult, and continued getting judged and lectured about how I had such a pretty face if only I would take better care of myself...blah blah blah. Nobody understood or even believed my claims. I remember the year before my DS my dad spent several days at my home. After dinner, he says to me "I cannot understand how you eat so little and remain so obese". It sounds crass, but it was an epiphany that he finally gets it and understood my struggle. When I decided to get the DS, others tried to talk me out of it, but Dad told me he was proud of me having the courage to try to get my obesity under control, and my surgeon was delighted to have such a healthy patient. She said I was the best kind.

I've never been one to sugar coat so I'll just say how I feel. I think what alienates you is you. Not your (alleged) condition, not your habits, lifestyle, body fat % etc. People who want to connect with others typically find some level of common ground. You are the very opposite of that. You seem to be searching for that wedge to devide you from the masses- and it almost seems that you are standing on it looking down at us admittedly over-eating imperfect people.

As they say- it's lonely at the top.

I appriciate the honesty.

Truely Im not trying to find anything to wedge and Ive been looked down upon my whole life so sure as hell am not doing it to anyone else.

I can relate to many on how crappy being obese is, the comments and such.

What I never was relating on was from a medical stand point of how and why I got there.

Has absolutely nothing to do with feeling superior.

I'm just confused. If you didn't weigh 400 pounds because you ate too much, how did a surgery that reduced your consumption of food and calories cause you to lose 200 pounds? Since those weren't the reasons you were overweight?

What am I not seeing?