Still don't fit into the %$**!@ seat!

Saw a movie last night in a super-fancy theater with reclining seats.   Before surgery I might not have gone because I would have been worried about fitting into the chairs but now I am a fairly small woman and the world is optimized for skinny people.

Except it isn't. 

The reclining part of the seat didn't have a lock and I didn't have enough weight in my upper body to keep the seat back so it was pressing on me the whole movie and my back is in huge pain today and locked up.  My hubby thought they were the most comfortable seats he had ever experience, but for me? Agony.  And I'm pretty sure I would have been super comfortable there at 300+ pounds. 

Sometimes you just have to laugh about the crap you tell yourself.  I don't know why I thought life had to be so easy for skinny people, I just knew it was super hard for me as a fat person and obviously they must have it better in every way.  I begged my surgeon to make sure he would be as aggressive as he thought was wise and I have worked extra hard to make sure I lost all of my excess weight.  But you know what?  I think the world is optimized for those people 20 to 30 lbs over weight.  That's where most clothes you try on fit and look nice.  That's when most chairs and benches were comfortable.  You could lean against walls and not have your bones hurt.  Maybe things built for kids are more comfortable skinny, but things for adults?  No, they expect you to have some of life's well earned padding on you.  I have yet to have any rebound, and I'm hoping that will start soon.  Those are words I thought I would never say.

I've started to think it is stuff like this that is the real gift of the surgery.  I couldn't put together a healthy mental attitude towards fat until I wasn't fat.  Now that I can think about this subject without being subjected to a large dose of self-hate -- well the whole world looks different and the bull**** I used to tell myself is very clearly bull****

Always a fun journey!

My nemesis is doors.  Some are so damn heavy and I swear I have to give it all I got to get them open sometimes.

I know, I hate big doors! 

Especially this year as I have had to learn how to gather strength starting in my core and not just use the momentum I could generate with my larger frame.  Now that I'm building up the muscles I need it isn't as bad, but just after the honeymoon period when you don't have your balance, the right kind of strength and have lost the power of momentum, things can get a little dicey! 

I remember reading these kind of comments before my surgery and just thinking how utterly crazy they sounded and yet here I am.  :-)

I figure my next rash of posts will probably be in about two years and it will be about why can't those new people just do what we veterans tell them without all that doubting of our knowledge or good intentions.  :-) 

Your post made me smile. It is true... not everything we thought would be ideal "skinny" is actually ideal. 

Examples:

I sometimes sit down on chairs too hard because I mis-judge the space between my now minimal behind and the chair. This is quite painful for my bony behind and back...

Some people said their feet got smaller when they lost weight. My feet actually got bigger. I have come to realize my feet are size 11W because I am a very tall lady with a large bone structure, and my sturdy feet keep me from tipping over.

My face looked younger with some chub in my cheeks.

I require the softest possible bed to prevent my bony body from being sore. (Hotels are the worst)...

Swimming used to be so much less strenuous and more enjoyable when I was my own flotation device.

I looked pretty cute with all of those curves and got a lot of appreciative attention. Now I blend in with all of the average middle aged ladies out there.

Still with all of these quirky realization, the wins far exceed the let downs....