Rehab for Bad Group Experience

Unfortunately not.  This isn't a private board but a public board.  Anything you post here can, and probably will, be copied and pasted anywhere else.  Such is the nature of the internet, which is why everyone should be wary of what they post on ANY website.

This is a public board...yoou do not have to be a member to read (or even copy) but you do to post.

Do NOT post things that you do not want the world to know...this also goes out to google. All this IS public to the world.

Liz

They'll do that and they'll skew and distort it. They'll pull it out of context and they'll childishly poke fun. Let them have their fun. How can they really hurt you? "They" are nothing more than written words behind a glass screen, like butterflies in a terrarium. Let them flit and enjoy their games. They can't hurt you. 

And STOP LOOKING! These are ugly, poisonous butterflies! Not worth your time!! 

Having said that, do your best to not give them any ammunition either. It isn't 100% impossible to avoid because, like I said, they'll distort, skew and make fun of the most innocent of comments.

I'm completely disgusted that anyone would bring sexual orientation into it. What does that have to do with anything??? Nobody belongs in anyone's private bedroom! 

I wish I'd done some reporting rather than deleting my entire profile. I'll keep this in mind going forward. I've also found the block button to be a nifty tool. 

Sometimes good advice is a hard pill to swallow.  I'd rather have good information given in a straight-forward manner than misinformation and "kudos" given nicely that will do no good.  But that's just me.

I would prefer both, because I deserve it. So interesting when people attack you and then call your reaction abnormal behavior, EVEN disqualifying you for surgery. That kind of info I don't need.

In case anyone is wondering, I am feeling amazing relief to be out of an abusive situation and in a place where admins are here to welcome you to a safe place and state that they will be attentive to your needs for communication and protection... 

Internet Cyberbullies

I learned a lot from this article...

"The anger of a serial bully is especially apparent when they come across someone who can see through them to espy the weak, inadequate, immature, dysfunctional aggressive individual behind the mask...

"The objectives of bullies are Power, Control, Domination, Subjugation. They get a kick out of seeing you react. It doesn't matter how you react, the fact they've successful provoked a reaction is, to the bully, a sign that their attempt at control have been successful.

"After that, it's a question of wearing you down. The more your try to explain, negotiate, conciliate, etc the more gratification they obtain from your increasingly desperate attempts to communicate with them. Understand that it is not possible to communicate in a mature adult manner with a disordered individual who's emotionally retarded.

"The Number One rule for dealing with this type of behaviour is:

1. Don't respond;

2. Don't interact, and

3. Don't engage.

"This is not as easy to do as it sounds. It's a natural response to want to defend yourself, and to put the person right. However, never argue with a serial bully; it's not a mature adult discussion, but like dealing with a child or immature teenager; whilst the serial bully may be an adult on the outside, on the inside they are like a child who's never grown up - and probably never will. Serial bullies and harassers often have disordered thinking patterns and do not share the same thoughts or values as you...

"Although you may be the target of the cyberbully's anger, you can train yourself to act as an observer. This takes you out of the firing line and enables you to study the perpetrator... When people use bullying behaviours they project their own weaknesses, failings and shortcomings on to others. In other words, they are telling you about themselves by fabricating an accusation based on something they themselves have done wrong. "

YES, YES, YES! Don't respond, interact or engage! These are Not normal people you're dealing with. They don't care about your welfare. They want your reaction. Its all about them! It's hard, but if you don't give them what they're looking for, they'll find another victim and move on. 

Recovery boards are perfect places for perpetrators to work out their own abuse history, IMO. I have encountered what seems to be this same syndrome before, in a GBS recovery group. Two abusive bully members held all the power and were surrounded by codependents and abuse survivors who were in total denial and did everything possible to protect the alleged perps. When they were kicked off a board, the whole group moved to a private Board, and then completely depleted the group. I went through this same experience before. Actually, this time I got out in a few days. It took months the first time... Celebrate little victories.