Rehab for Bad Group Experience

There are many other WLS forums online and you will find another that is more welcoming. Unfortunately, this forum seems to have attracted some cliques that act like packs of hungry wolves--or angry high school girls.  When that happens, it's best to move along and join the adults elsewhere. Don't let their foolishness dissuade you from the surgery that can lead to good health and much happiness!

Best wishes on your journey!

TTP, Does that go on on this board, too?

I'll tell you it does because many of the people who are "over there" are here as well, but they do tend to have a bit of softer approach. And it happens here to a much smaller degree. 

Perhaps if there are people who are not hesitant to call BS on their perpetration, they will stay in an area where they seem to have their audience under their spell... {:>}

Actually, one person calling BS on them just makes their frenzy get worse. Several people calling BS on them is really no better than they are. Better to use the block button and keep moving forward. 

People are people so I think every public forum has problem posters, but some more than others. Birds of a feather flocking together, that sort of thing. Anonymity can bring out the worst in some people.

Sorry you had such a bad experience with that other group. From reading profiles and posts of similar harpies, it seems such groups are often comprised of many people who were harassed for their weight when they were young and some have been battered. Unfortunately, rather than learning from their experiences of being bullied and going forward with kindness, they themselves become bullies and any variances from their way of thinking are met with harsh rebukes. Paying it forward can be good or bad.

HOWEVER, the key thing to remember is that you are in no way obligated to accept the opinions and criticisms of people you do not know and respect----and especially those who are anonymous snipers or bullies. Your goal in visiting such a board is to learn from people who are steps ahead of you on this journey. (Browbeating you can do yourself, if you want to waste your time on that.)  Always put your critical thinking cap on when you read advice on boards; even very well-meaning people can be misinformed. Take the info as a starting point and then do some research on medical websites or talk to your doctor and staff. Then too, you can't get the voice inflections or expressions of those writing on boards as cues to the intent of messages, so misunderstandings inevitably arise. 

Now shrug off the stupids, get back on track and go get healthy!  Yay for you for having the courage to take control of your health and your life!!

Good reminders! Thanks...

"Mean people suck, bullies suck eggs!"

Hi Rick.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this crap...  I started researching WLS in 2006 and was QUICKLY put off by the DSers that inhabited this forum.  I didn't give the DS a second look and went straight for the Sleeve.  At 425 lbs, I needed the DS.  I understand that the level of commitment the DS requires is not something that everyone can handle, but their approach is definitely lacking a little finesse.  Ok..  a LOT of finesse!!!  After a massive regain with my sleeve - lost 189 initally and regained 117 - I did come crawling back, but the board was different.  The original bullies had moved on to another place and we were left with these fine folks.  I did find the other board and browsed for the better part of a day and I think I only posted once.  That was enough for me.  I come here and there are a few private groups on FB with some really great people that have become my lifelines.  Just know the support is out there!  Don't let the bullies deter you from what you need to make you the healthiest version of yourself.

Love and light!!!!  =)

10 years or so on a messageboard can leave one a bit jaded.

Some people will love you and others won't.  Don't take either group seriously.  Set your filters and collect information you need and ignore the rest.  In time you will make some message board friends and in more time, maybe some real ones.  When you are brand new, the best thing to do is introduce yourself and spend more time reading than posting.  You have a lot to learn.

I ama  revision from Sleeve to DS...knw there will be many new things...