Rehab for Bad Group Experience

Yes, their staff is amazing. It was honestly such a great experience. I wish I could go to him everytime I needed surgery or have to go to the hospital. You really are treated like a celebrity, or something...lol The care you get from him and the Almater hospital staff, is like no other, here in the U.S. I always feel like I am doing a commercial when I speak of them....lol You really are getting a lot of great support here I see on your post, I hope you are feeling better about everything.... People are right about not going back, even for a peak. Its time to move on into a more positive light... you can do it!

Please let it roll off your back. You can't make your decision based on what other people might say on the boards. You might find reasons to not have your surgery but people on the boards should play a very small part. 

When your in that type of situation I think two approaches can help.

If you mostly like the group lurk for a couple of months. Most of the stupid stuff goes away over time. Then re-introduce yourself gradually. I spent a lot of time reviewing archives instead of participating in the current community for some boards. You can learn a lot about the individual board that way too.

Second, if you feel bridges are burned look for some alternate groups. I'm not sure where your problem was although I have my own guesses. Look here, facebook, yahoo - there are plenty of good people in different places. 

Some people are active in a lot of places - that doesn't give them any power over you or the boards. For those people that don't care to have an intelligent conversation on some topic they will always find some new irritant to take your place.

When I first came here, I was told the real group had moved to a new site, soI went there. i didn't realize there was a history and I still don't know, other than what I hear. It was made clear to me that there was only one group and only one approach and that anything else and you could pay with your life.

I was told I would be sorry when I was sick and came crawling back, which they assured me I would, and the person took obvious glee at that declaration...I truly feel that I might die, if I go to surgery without their approval and support, and they refuse to let me apologize or go back into the group as an equal.

I left briefly and many came out to say the meanest things about me...most of it false or overblown, but no one will listen to me, so I don't know what to do! It is making me sick emotionally, I can't sleep and am constantly checking the board for negative comments which depress me so much. It feel like the bulies and the teen girls tha commit suicide. you just can't let it go, and you feel worse every day about yourself... Luckily I am under the care of a psychiatrist, and have a pretty good handle on where this overwhelming emotion is coming from....

The main rules are to have 100+g of protein a day and to do the Vitalady program. You won't go too far wrong if you go that route.

One of my husband's favorite sayings was "It's none of your business what other people think about you". And you know, there is a lot of truth in that. Obviously we don't want to be jerks to others and use that line as an excuse. Most of us have a desire for others to like and approve of us so we tend to care what others think, sometimes so much so it causes undo pain for us. Obviously you are a grown, adult  that at least theoretically :) has been living his own life up until these people's comments. You can conceivably continue to do so after their comments. By your profile it sounds like you may be a teacher: what would you tell a classroom of students?

Apparently I'm not a part of the group you are referring as I'm not up on any of your "introductory offenses".

I wish you good success on your revision. I used to have a band and was at my wits end with the low fat diet/exercise constantly and still overweight lifestyle, not to mention the medical complications the band caused. The DS lifestyle and eating plan is much more livable, enjoyable even and I have better success with weight loss.

Take Care,

Thanks

I know exactly how you feel. I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's hard to not go back to look at the negative, false, overblown, and poisonous comments, but it is poison and it will serve no purpose to expose yourself to the toxicity. Don't go back and read it ever again. It is poison.

Some people label it as tough love and both believe and tell others that the recipient can't take it because they're weak or something, but the truth is, if it is hurtful or presented in a hurtful way, it's not coming from anywhere near a place of love or compassion and the recipient's reception has nothing to do with the recipient. It is toxic hatred plain and simple. The hallmarks of tough love are truth and caring. Messages that are difficult for someone to receive should follow some rules: 

1: Is it true? 2: Is it kind? 3: Is it necessary? 

If the answer is no to any of them, then it shouldn't be said. This also applies to our inner talk, how we talk to ourselves in our own heads. When we can talk to ourselves kindly, we can learn to talk to others kindly too.

And for the record, my DS surgery was done by Dr. Ponce De Leon in Tijuana, Mexico. I was told that I would die or have severe complications and I would regret my decision and come crawling for help, but so far the opposite is true. I have an unusually long common channel for someone of my size, but I am doing very, very well. I spoke with Dr. Cottam in Salt Lake, over the phone yesterday and explained some of my history, including my common channel and my experiences on various groups and sites and what I was told by some of the people on those various sites and he told me that I was given some inaccurate information. He said he would take over my care and provide me with accurate information about my surgery and health. 

My point is there isn't only one way to have healthy and successful weight loss surgery. This applies to a DS and it applies to most things in life. Results speak for themselves. If it works, it works. If it stops working, then that's the time to do something about it.

There are many, many kind and accurate people here on OH who you can get help from. Simply ignore anyone who is hurtful. You don't deserve that. Nobody does.

 

 

OMG POISON!

A.B. I actually read that series of posts and in my view, it was not friendly. Anytime a surgeon or procedure comes up it is like a feeding frenzy... often offending new visitors... Better to just skim em off the top than have to deal with em later... Control seems to be the number one purpose from the moment your cyber shoe**** their "territory." Guess there is a web that vibrates to get their attention...

You need to read more and post less, until you get the hang of things over there. There's a world of good info available to you, but you don't get to tell others how to serve it up to you.