Did the DS affect your relationships differently (family, friends, boyfriend etc)

Did the DS affect your relationships differently? I met this new guy and I don't want this to change our relationship. He has no idea that I am going to be having this surgery. I haven't felt like I should tell him just yet until I know for sure I will be able to have it. My friends know and they say I shouldn't have it I kind of think it is because if I get smaller then them then I am no longer the fat funny friend... I was just wondering how your life and relationships with people changed after surgery. Thanks!

Sure.  Many relationships have changed.  In my case, most of these changes have been positive.  Or, they can just be chalked up to normal changes that go along with life.  I was only 20 when I had surgery and am now 25, so I wouldn't necessarily expect to have the same exact friends then as I do now.

In most cir****tances, I find I am a much better friend, daughter, and person in general because I am happier with myself and that has played a big difference in how I interact with others.

I am still friends with some people from before surgery, though.  I didn't tell anyone before surgery what I was doing.

Seriously....you are still very young.  There is no man in this world you should be willing to stay fat for.  Do you get this?  Men come and go and there is always another one around the corner.

 

Fat shapes your relationship with men.  Most men don't find heavy women to be attractive.  And as a heavy woman it's less likely you will be able to get a decent job and make enough money to support yourself.  Fat discrimination is real.  Flip on the TV, open a magazine.

 

Fat girls usually settle for less.  Is that what you want?  If losing weight costs you some people in your life, they probably weren't good for you anyway.  And no woman wants to be the fattest person in the room.

 

And yes, it changed my relationships for the better.  I was a fat girl and I did settle for less.  I don't have to do that anymore.

Woah. I never said i wanted to stay fat for him. I was saying he accepted me now that im fat so im sure he will be supported during the surgery. He said i was pretty before he ever knew i was bigger. I mean i was stating that im sure he will be supported He told me i was prettier then his last gf. I mean im only 20 i aint gonna jeopardized my health for a guy. I just mean being fat doesn't stop people from getting in relationships but does it stop people from keeping when they lose the weight

Most definitely. I ended up divorced about 6 months after the surgery. Trust me, you settle and when you start loving yourself again your whole attitude changes and the life follows. I am now married to a man who puts me on a pedestal. Yes life does change. Good luck!

People you have a good and sincere relationship with don't mind...

People who are insincere with their relationship with you don't matter...

Take this to heart.  We put up with a lot and overlook many flaws thinking we're not worthy.  As we shed weight, we gain confidence and start to see people for what we really are.  At the same time, people start to see us for what we really are, and hopefully, that's a good thing...as long as your shrinking ass size doesn't make an inflated head size.

I'm 30 and 6 weeks post op lost about 30 lbs so far and my husband and I haven't had sex in almost 7 weeks!

My weight loss has had a very positive effect on my marriage. My husband goes by the motto "happy wife, happy life" and I am so much happier now that I have my mobility and heath back (even though I still have a long way to go). My husband is a treasure. He has always been so supportive. He is helping make room in my life so that I can go to yoga and become more fit, and he is dieting so we can be active and healthy together (although he has much less to lose than I do). He is even quitting smoking when I hit the 100lb mark (which is right around the corner...I don't think he was expecting it to happen this fast).

My relationships with my children (4 and 6) has improved. I can do so much more with them and I am not tired all the time like I used to be. I also don't feel like a freak show when I go to their school. I know I should never have felt this way, but I did.

So far my relationships with my friends are good, but I am a bit worried about one friend. She is really heavy and I think it is hard for her to watch me lose weight. She has decided that surgery is not the way to go for her, and her husband is never supportive when she tries to make more healthy lifestyle choices. I know that I found it hard when other people were losing weight and I felt stuck. This is a friendship worth keeping, though, so hopefully it will weather the journey.

I'm not sure how long you have known this guy, but if things start to get serious I would tell him. When you get closer to having this surgery it will take up a lot of your time and energy, whether it is just thinking about it, preparing for it, or recovering for it. I also think that honesty is very important and he needs to consider whether he wants to be with you on this journey.

Good luck!