TWO YEAR SURGIVERSARY! Sorry, very long but I just can shut up about it!

Yesterday was my two year surgiversary and I am deeply grateful for all of the blessings in my life since having my DS.

I have lost 190 lbs and my weight has been stable for about 4 or 5 months.  I like this weight.  I feel comfortable and I look normal.  I fit in any seat.  I don’t worry about whether it will break.  I don’t look at the weight limit when entering crowded elevators anymore.  I don’t avoid subway grates on the sidewalk for fear that they will break.  I don’t constantly adjust my clothes to ensure that my stomach is not sticking out or try to walk in a way that de-emphasizes it. 

I shop in regular stores and I am starting to realize what clothes suit my new body.  This was not easy.  It takes some time to reprogram oneself from buying everything large and loose, and long and baggy and black. Also, just because you are thin,  does not mean that everything looks good on you.  My wardrobe is more colorful, more body hugging, more varied, more youthful, and (a very nice perk) often less expensive.  I wear heels sometimes now. I cross my legs sometimes now.  These are little things but they make me feel very feminine. 

I can move easily.  I can walk without huffing and puffing, without sweating, and most importantly without pain.  I walk with a little swagger now. Every little physical task is no longer a big deal.  I used to avoid going out to the coffee shop or walking to the convenience store because it was a big, painful effort.  I realize now that for average weight people this is nothing.  It is no effort at all, and in fact a nice little break and a chance to get some fresh air.  I used to be so grateful to my husband for doing those things for me because I thought they were so hard.  I am still adjusting to this change as well.  I am still surprised by how easy things are.   My husband likes to fly his kite in a park with a big hill and I used to just sit on a bench at the edge of the park and watch from a distance because I never wanted to tackle that hill. Climbing it made me feel like I was going to die of a heart attack and I would have pain in my legs and feet for days afterwards. I went to the park with him the other day and I still felt that feeling in my stomach that the hill would be too much for me.  I had to actually make a decision to try it.  It was nothing:  absolutely nothing.  I didn’t even breathe hard or break a sweat. I felt no pain.  There are still many physical things that I need to try out.  I haven’t tested my limits yet.  It will be interesting to see what I find out.

People treat me better.  They hold doors for me.  They listen when I talk. They smile when I enter a room.  They say sorry when they bump me or step on my foot. They chat with me in the elevator. Men admire me. People seem to think that we now have more in common . As a result, I make a special effort to acknowledge obese people, smile when they enter the room, apologize when I bump them, and hold doors for them.  I think I have always done this but now I am making sure. I still identify strongly with them and I know that I am one of them on the inside. When I talk about my surgery, I make sure to let people know that I am not ashamed of having been obese and I do not feel that I am any more worthy morally than I was before. I am not ashamed of having been fat and I am not ashamed of fat people.  We all have our crosses to bear.

I can’t emphasize enough that it takes time to recognize and experience all of the changes that come along with the weight loss.  I am still adjusting.

I can eat!  I can eat anything.  I do eat anything.  I don’t eat like I did before in either volume or general content, but I can eat.  I have bacon and eggs with cheese every morning.  I frequently eat steak for dinner.  I have been having big glasses of low carb eggnog in celebration of the season, (and the fact the low carb egg nob is fantastic!). I eat a lot so cheese and a lot of nuts.  I never worry about fat content, ever.  My family envies me because of the things I can eat without regret.  On top of this, I can eat everything they eat.  I don’t’, but I can.  I have a piece of cake or pie, or ice cream or chocolate or anything, at a party or in the evening if I want it.  I have a couple glasses of wine, if I want to.  I get drunk easily, so a couple of glasses of wine leave me as drunk as 4 or 5 would have prior to surgery so I have to be careful when I drink.  I eat frequently (every 2 or 3 hours).  I don’t have to plan excessively to maintain my lifestyle.  It is now second nature to me and I know where to get the things that I like and that are good for me. I get full now. I don’t just eat and eat and eat until the food is gone.  This has nothing to do with self-control on my part.  I just don’t have the space. I also feel satisfied by much less food. I enjoy what I eat both in content and volume.  I am not deprived.  If anything I am indulged.

 I do find that groceries seem to be more expensive now, but that might be more due to changes in the economy than changes in what I eat.  I do spend a fair amount on vitamins and I take a lot of vitamins and I do have to plan to be sure that I have everything in stock at all times.  I don’t find it hard to take them.  I remember because I eat frequently and I usually take them when I eat.  My last labs were good. I found it a bit troublesome going in frequently for lab work in the first two years, but I did it and it was the right thing to do.  Things had to be tweaked and adjusted and now I seem to be in balance and attuned to my body and its needs.  I am still learning exactly what I need to do in this regard.  As I said, it takes time to adjust. I had no complications following my surgery.  My health has been great.

I have had some issues to adjust to.  I lost some hair.  My hairline receded in the front and it wasn’t the most flattering, especially considering that I usually wore my hair back in a ponytail.   I recently gave in and cut my hair.  It was the best thing I could have done.  My hair no longer looks thin, my hairline looks normal again, and the style is more professional and flatters my face more.  It is a better hairstyle that I probably would never have tried if I hadn’t been losing my hair, and I am the better for it.  I have been troubled with gas and bathroom issues to some extent.  This is not major trouble, it is just an annoyance.  For example, I frequently feel as if I need to pass gas while I am at work.  I feel it most of the day.  Sometimes I do actually need to and sometimes I don’t but I frequently have the feeling and it is distracting.  When I do pass gas it smells awful so I need to be sure that it doesn’t happen in public.  This causes a bit of anxiety from time to time, but what can you do.  When I have a bowel movement it also smells awful and for this reason I prefer not to go in public washrooms.  I do need to use public washrooms quite often so I am getting used to it and there have been no ramifications, but I still have a bit of anxiety around that as well.  Both the gas and the bowel movement smell are improving as time goes by and I anticipate that they will improve even more over time. Of course, like all DSers, I get a lot a terrible smelling gas if I eat too many carbs.  I still eat too many carbs sometimes and my husband bears the brunt of this, but he is very good about it, and I enjoy the indulgence.

My relationship with my husband is still excellent.  It was great before and it is still great.  He used to drop me off and pick me up from work most days because it was so much effort to use public transportation, but now I travel on my own with ease and this gives him more leisure time to pursue his own interests like exercising etc.  I am much less dependent on him overall and I complain a lot less (or maybe just about different things).  I go and get my own coffee, and I don’t grumble about my feet hurting when we are shopping for groceries.  We have started a few more activities for fun and we can do them together now.  We go out a lot.  We always did, but now I enjoy it more.  He likes the fact that I have left overs for him to eat when we go out to dinner.  He is pleased by all of the admiration I get from other men and he knows that I have no interest in other men so he is not threatened.  He encourages me to buy nice clothes and show off.  He always says, try a size smaller? And he is usually right. I see him looking at me with starry eyes from time to time and I know he is proud of how I look.

I also just feel like my future is brighter., that I have the energy to take on the projects I am interested in, to take on more responsibility at work, to travel more, to socialize more and meet new people.  I have a new found confidence in my future and it is very exciting.

All in all, everything is great and I couldn’t ask for more.  The cons are very minor in comparison to what I have gained.  I would do this over again in a heartbeat and I would recommend it for any obese person who wants to be thinner but also wants to enjoy life, enjoy food and feel free.  That is how I feel.  I feel freed!  This surgery is a miracle.

Challie

I am so happy for you!!!  What a truely inspirational post!!!

So Happy for you. I am only a few weeks out and emotions are crazy right now, but I pray that my results and new life is like yours. Your attitude and spirit are wonderful and I can't wait to feel some of that  joy.

It's coming for you.  Just keep on doing what you are doing.  I had many doubts that I would have success along the way and I was wrong.  You will have success!  Good  luck!

Hi Challie,

Congratulations on your transformation and thank you for your post.  It is truly inspirational.  I needed the reminder of all the reasons I chose to have the DS and you have given me proof that my goals are attainable.  I just need to be patient...

Thanks again

Renee

What a WONDERFUL and INSPIRING Post for us newbies!  Thank you so much!

So glad you are rockin' your DS. My attitude is grattitude and so is yours!!

I feel like I need to save your post and print it out so that I can show it to people who can't understand why I'd want to go through the surgery. Everything you said you can do now that you had to worry about before is what I want for me. 

And congrats on how far you've come!

Wow, what an inspirational message. Thank you for sharing this with us. I needed to read what you just wrote. Gives me hope and it all put a smile on my face! Thank you;)