I know we are not supposed to pay attention to kcal however now that I have changed

to heavy cream in my shakes no carbs what is Ok for the day 3000 kcal since we only absorb some?  I would just like to know what I should stay under?  So what is my highest kcal and highest protein as it is only mid afternoon and I already have 71 carbs 142 fat 179 proteins.  The only reason I know my kcal is because I am tracking food on myfitnesspal and the kcal for my day so far is 2385

Very good! I average between 2500-3000 calories a day, myself, but I'm not trying to lose, just maintain.

My approach is to not count them at all .  Nope - not at all.  

When eating, concentrate on the protein first, then enjoy veggies, but save a bite or two for whatever you want, be it bread, rice, pasta, or chocolate cake.  You won't ever feel deprived, and you'll not be physically able to do anything out of control.

Great advice! Thanks. I normally consume approx 1200-1500 cals. I just don't eat much. Now with the protein first I take a few bites and I'm done. Getting to the 12-15 hundred cals entails grazing which my doctor wants me to avoid but I don't want to dip below 1000 cals to avoid putting my body into starvation mode.

Getting to the 12-15 hundred cals entails grazing which my doctor wants me to avoid

Gazing is the ONLY way I can get enough in...but graze with this in mind...protein FIRST.

There is nothing wrong with grazing. It wasn't grazing that made you fat...it was what you ate and how much.

Liz

I'm only 4 months out and I catch myself freaking out about calories alot (I'm on myfitnesspal, too).  It's hard to wrap your brain around the concept that you HAVE to eat and calories don't matter, especially since society tells overweight people to just put down the fork and not eat so much....

Still self conscious about eating in public. Folks look at fat folk to see what we're eating and give or deny their "approval. Lol as if its needed or desired.

so true!  Wanted to smack my lap banded mother the other day, she was trying to be judgemental about the fondue dinner I had with a friend because I was feeling ill afterwards.  I'm still post op, I think I didn't chew some of the protein well, and I am proud to say I only had a quarter of a strawberry in chocolate, I passed up the rest of the dessert.  Thank you very much!  That's a milestone for me, turning down dessert!

If you think about the approximate absorption rates for DSer's, you are only absorbing 50-60% of your proteins and complex carbs, 20% of fats.  The only things absorbed 100% are simple (white, refined brown) sugar  and simple carbs (white flour).

That said, if you're eating 3000, your absorbing around 1500.