I think I am second guessing my WLS decision

I really have decided that I don't know if I want to go through with the surgery right now. I know I am 20 and it would be a good thing but honestly I am ONLY 20 and I think if I would learn to cook my own meals and eat fewer carbs and less fast food I think I could do it on my own. I don't know I am kind of on the fence I talked to my momma's friend today and she told me about two women who had surgery and one of them can barely walk now and she had surgery when she was 20 and is now 24. She developed a lot of problems after surgery. She told me about how her daughter ent on a low carb atkins kind of diet and has lost 100 lbs so far. She also told when I told her I weighed over 300 lbs (334.5 last time I checked) that she never would have guessed I weighed that much she said I looked like I weighed 220 maybe 225 at the most. That made me feel pretty good. A lot of people say and when I hear it it makes not want to have surgery because I could mess up my body and with all the excess I could look a lot different. I don't know I am totally on the fence about this. I would love to be able to lose the weight on my own and I think I could do it but I have started this process and if I fail at losing on my own then I will have to start all over BUT also if I do lose it on my own then gain back I will prove to myself that I NEED to have WLS because everything else has failed. I have never really tried to maintain weight loss. I mean I would lose some weight then I would pig out and when I gained I'd give up and stop exercising so I know I am the reason for my failure the times before. Anyway I am unsure at this point I have about 3 more months before I can schedule my surgery but I am scared and deep down I think it might not be the best thing for me at this age. I think I have been looking at it more as a "get thin quick" kind of thing and not trying everything in my power to do it on my own

Everyone has to make the decision for themselves. As someone who is 42 years and 268 lbs I can tell you that I always thought I could lose weight on my own. It didn't happen and I have lost the best years of my life to obesity. I spent my 30's being depressed and now I will be having the DS in the new year and can't wait. While I admit that you hear the odd sad story you hear many, many more success stories here on OH.  The truth is that less that 2% of people who lose weight by dieting actually keep the weight off. That is a very discouraging statistic to me. All I can say is that if the DS was available in my twenties I would have had it done then. But it is obviously your choice. If you feel you need to try losing weight first then maybe you should try it. All I can say is if it doesn't work then don't put the surgery off too long.

Best of luck and I hope you succeed.  But your long term chance of success is less than 5%.  It's NOT just losing the weight.  The bigger battle is keeping it off.

Let me tell you a story.  One of my best friends was a 'little' smug about losing the weight on her own, low carb, while I chose to have surgery.  She was still supportive of me but she was very pleased with herself.  I was happy for her.  Fast forward to today and she has gained it all back and her insurance no longer covers surgery.  The bottom line was that she was afraid of surgery.

My biggest regret is that I waited so long.  I often fantasize about how different my life would have been if I had had the surgery when I was young.  I settled for less more than once or twice because of my size.

Best of luck to you!

My surgery wasn't a get thin quick process. I lost weight over a 2 year period, and am now over 7 years out. I had the surgery at 49, and my biggest regret was not doing it sooner.

I, too lost weight and couldn't keep it off. I spent years hating looking in the mirror, no clothes looked good, and loose ones made me look bigger, and close fitting showed every bulge and fold of my fat.

My health got worse through the years, until it was either lose weight and keep it off, or die. So I had surgery. It was no picnic, but I learned to control my portions, and instead of piling my plate with too much food, I served myself small amounts, knowing I could always take more if I needed it.  I learned to listen to my body, and to really feel the sensation of having enough without having to feel stuffed and miserable.

Only you know what you need and can handle for yourself. I know only a handful of people who lost substantial weight and kept if off without the help of weight loss surgery.

Best wishes.

My input..if you're even thinking about it, do it.  I toyed with the idea, had a consultation, waited another year before my second consultation.  I wasted a year.  Actually, I wasted many, many years (43 now, overweight my entire life).  I would say do it now, while you're young.  Don't spend any more time beating yourself up and playing "what if" and "maybe".

You've already deactivated, but I hope you're still reading this thread...

Having wls is a big decision and an even bigger committment. No one else can make this decision for you, nor should anyone try.

     the only way to make the right decision for yourself, at any age, is to be totally honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you are considering wls, and why you are now second guessing yourself. Ask yourself what risks and what side effects are acceptable to you and what are not. Ask yourself how you will feel if you don't have surgery and are still SMO 5 years from now.

    Do not walk into the operation room until you are convinced that it is the right decision, and committed to following through with the dietary, vitamin and lab requirements not just to lose weight but to stay healthy with your surgery.

    But don't walk away from potentially life saving medical care simply out of fear.

Larra.

It is your body and your choice.  It is a tough decision to say the least.  I am 3 months out today and would never do it again.  I'm in my late 40's. I have and am still going through things but I make the best of it daily.  Thank Goodness for another surgeon who has done amazing things with his consults for me!   I have struggled with my weight my entire life, at this point, I was tired.  I needed something extra hence the WLS.   I had toyed with the idea of WLS since I gained my weight back from losing it with diet & exercise.  I kept it off for about 9 yrs or so.  Then came a bad couple of years, including breaking my ankle in 3 places and my knee and ending a long term relationship.  Within a 2 yr period, all my weight was back on.  That was in 2009.  This year, I finally got a job with insurance and the surgery was covered.  I have lived with my decision.  Do I regret it? YES  I could not have been through all that I have been through without the kindness of the people on this board.  They helped me more than they will ever know. 

This is my reality.  I commend those on here for helping guide me! 

It is a personal decision for you!  Only you can make the decision! 

Know this, that whatever direction you choose, a WLS is a tool.  That is all!  It's no different than having a sargaent as your trainer (it's just inside of you - that's my viewpoint these days).

As my friends know, for what this surgery has cost me mentally, emotionally and monetarily (being off work etc etc), I could have had a trainer for 4 days a week for a year.  I MYSELF wish I would have done that again (which is what I did the first time).  I was simply tired of the weight.

All the best to you!

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your decision. I got up to 450 lbs and could never have lost weight on my own and kept it off. Of course through years of dieting I did lose weight but would gain more back. I had the RNY at 40 and then the DS at 47. I did have complications but I am getting through them. People always told me I did not look "that heavy" but really what does that matter.

You have plenty of time to make this decision. You might try dieting and see what happens. Best of luck, Terri

WLS should definitely be viewed as a last resort.  You know yourself best.  If you've not really given losing weight on your own a serious try yet, then by all means, do that.  Definitely do the low carb, high protein route in your efforts. 

Now, if you're just experiencing some self-loathing and telling yourself that even though you tried, you haven't tried hard enough, step back and give it some serious consideration, for you have no idea if this may be an option in the future.

I definitely think you might not be ready.  You have to go into surgery feeling confident you made the right choice, in my opinion.  If you don't, you'll blame every bump in the road on yourself for "poor decision making."

That being said, I was 20 when I had surgery and I'm 25 now and have no regrets.  It's difficult being young and having so many things I need to be concerned with as far as my health goes -- vitamins and eating schedules and high protein diet.  But if I think of the alternative--living my entire youth obese--that really solidifies my decision and makes it all worth it.