telling people
Michele
i told my mom and dad and they dont agree with it, i also told my very best friend, and she doesnt agree with it either and thinks i can do it on my own, but i still have her support. i have been dealing with weight since i was a teen. i always got bigger and bigger. i have tried different diets, and programs, and getting memberships...what most people dont understand is that it is really hard for some people. your not taking the easy way out, but you are fixing the problem, and doing something about it. some people dont care to fix their weight problem at all! so that is how i see it. one thing i cant stand is wasting time. im not saying to rush into a surgery, but make the choice to do something about it now so you can enjoy life, and not sit on the side lines watching everyone else enjoy theirs. educate yourself about WLS. no one knows you better than you know yourself. you know what is best for you. your happiness is important, and comes first. i dont know you personally, but i do understand you by what you posted cause im going thru the same thing with family and friends. i want to be happy and healthy, and i wish and hope the same for you.
i told my mom and dad and they dont agree with it, i also told my very best friend, and she doesnt agree with it either and thinks i can do it on my own, but i still have her support. i have been dealing with weight since i was a teen. i always got bigger and bigger. i have tried different diets, and programs, and getting memberships...what most people dont understand is that it is really hard for some people. your not taking the easy way out, but you are fixing the problem, and doing something about it. some people dont care to fix their weight problem at all! so that is how i see it. one thing i cant stand is wasting time. im not saying to rush into a surgery, but make the choice to do something about it now so you can enjoy life, and not sit on the side lines watching everyone else enjoy theirs. educate yourself about WLS. no one knows you better than you know yourself. you know what is best for you. your happiness is important, and comes first. i dont know you personally, but i do understand you by what you posted cause im going thru the same thing with family and friends. i want to be happy and healthy, and i wish and hope the same for you.
@csky20-
The one thing that rankles me is people somehow inferring that to have bariatric surgery of any kind is an admission that you are too "weak" to "do it on your own". Having WLS is not an admission of weakness!
If they knew how much more attention has to be paid to nutrition as a post-op, they would realize how disciplined we must be in order to remain healthy.
The care and feeding of a DS is far more work than calorie restrictive dieting, and we have chosen this new lifestyle in pursuit of health.
Every choice we make in life has a price!
(Climbing down off the soapbox now...)
The one thing that rankles me is people somehow inferring that to have bariatric surgery of any kind is an admission that you are too "weak" to "do it on your own". Having WLS is not an admission of weakness!
If they knew how much more attention has to be paid to nutrition as a post-op, they would realize how disciplined we must be in order to remain healthy.
The care and feeding of a DS is far more work than calorie restrictive dieting, and we have chosen this new lifestyle in pursuit of health.
Every choice we make in life has a price!
(Climbing down off the soapbox now...)
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
I told everyone at home as well as work, and received very little negative and an overwhelming amount of support.
One key thing to say here if you want to keep it a secret - is to tell NOBODY at work, and I mean NOBODY. Everyone has a confident or three that they tell on the promise not to share with anyone, and the next confidante has three new ones. Things just "get around'....or worse yet, they make up their own conclusions and next thing you know they're looking to replace you at work because you're withering away and about to die of cancer or something.
The truth is always easier to keep track of - but the choice is yours.
One key thing to say here if you want to keep it a secret - is to tell NOBODY at work, and I mean NOBODY. Everyone has a confident or three that they tell on the promise not to share with anyone, and the next confidante has three new ones. Things just "get around'....or worse yet, they make up their own conclusions and next thing you know they're looking to replace you at work because you're withering away and about to die of cancer or something.
The truth is always easier to keep track of - but the choice is yours.
Valerie
DS 2005
There is room on this earth for all of God's creatures..
next to the mashed potatoes
Told my 3 kids and husband. No one else. Didn't need or want their opinions or comments. Never regretted my decision. I do not like DRAMA, and have several people in my life who just love to give me advice, then get pissed off when I don't follow it.
I did tell people immediately afterward, but only because I was forced to. My father passed away the month before my DS, and my sister decided to have a SECOND funeral just days after my surgery. When I couldn't show up but all the rest of my family did, my husband told them why. No way was I going to jeopardize my fragile recovery when I already attended his funeral.
Be prepared for nasty reactions if you decide to tell people ahead of time. I have one person in my life in particular who has (in the past) chosen to address my doctors and surgeons without my knowledge or consent. I consider this a gross violation of my privacy rights, yet she still will do this if I include her in my plans for anything medical.
If nothing else, the DS has made me a tougher person emotionally. I now have absolutely no problem sticking up for myself and making difficult decisions I formerly would have avoided at great personal cost. I'm no longer the "yes person" I used to be for other people. Strangely, though, I haven't lost anyone as a friend that I have regretted. In fact, I've actually lost people (family) who never had my best interests at heart. My husband tells me those people now realize I'm not the dishrag or rug they have become used to.
I did tell people immediately afterward, but only because I was forced to. My father passed away the month before my DS, and my sister decided to have a SECOND funeral just days after my surgery. When I couldn't show up but all the rest of my family did, my husband told them why. No way was I going to jeopardize my fragile recovery when I already attended his funeral.
Be prepared for nasty reactions if you decide to tell people ahead of time. I have one person in my life in particular who has (in the past) chosen to address my doctors and surgeons without my knowledge or consent. I consider this a gross violation of my privacy rights, yet she still will do this if I include her in my plans for anything medical.
If nothing else, the DS has made me a tougher person emotionally. I now have absolutely no problem sticking up for myself and making difficult decisions I formerly would have avoided at great personal cost. I'm no longer the "yes person" I used to be for other people. Strangely, though, I haven't lost anyone as a friend that I have regretted. In fact, I've actually lost people (family) who never had my best interests at heart. My husband tells me those people now realize I'm not the dishrag or rug they have become used to.
I. am. not. a. doctor.
HW 250ish SW 219 CW 110 LW 100
By the way, I should have mentioned that I received the greatest amount of support and help from the people in my surgeon's support group and here, online, at OH. I had hospital visits from several of the members of the group. When the hospital staff was not doing what they were supposed to be doing, 2 members of the group came in, took charge and got me taken care of. It was a lifesaver! Post op, people here on Oh answered my questions and helped me.
So, even though I chose not to rely heavily on friends and family, I had lots of support from people who had been through what I was going through and understood. No judgements, no comments. It was great.
I work in a medically *related* field, so telling anyone at work would have detrimental. People can be very judgemental, especially when they have not walked in our shoes. Not to say that people at work did not figure out that something happened eventually, but I was so sick pre-op that I had compelling reasons for surgery; they just did not know it was the DS. One girl, in the midst of an employee conference, accused me loudly and very publicly of having the RNY. It felt very good to be able to clearly state 'I DID NOT HAVE AN RNY!' and to be truthful :-)
So, even though I chose not to rely heavily on friends and family, I had lots of support from people who had been through what I was going through and understood. No judgements, no comments. It was great.
I work in a medically *related* field, so telling anyone at work would have detrimental. People can be very judgemental, especially when they have not walked in our shoes. Not to say that people at work did not figure out that something happened eventually, but I was so sick pre-op that I had compelling reasons for surgery; they just did not know it was the DS. One girl, in the midst of an employee conference, accused me loudly and very publicly of having the RNY. It felt very good to be able to clearly state 'I DID NOT HAVE AN RNY!' and to be truthful :-)
I have been really fortunate, I have not really received any negative reactions. A few people were quited surprised and wanted to make sure that I knew that they would always care about me whether I was fat or thin. I explained that I was doing this to be healthy not thin. Thin is just an added benefit !! I have not kept it a secret at all. I just figure that what other think about me is none of my business !!!! I live my life for me, not others !!!!
I told my neighbor across the street from us and she was really supportive, a guy she worked with had WLS with the partner of my doctor and said he looked great and really liked the doctor, and if we needed anything just to let them know. I figure if anything I will wait for people to ask me after I have the surgery, Most of my friends are on Facebook right now and with all the talk being about the election I just don't want to deal with it right now. Thank you for all your feedback it helps alot.
I only told a few folks pre-op, immediate family and a couple close friends.
The issue will come up when your dramatic weight loss becomes evident.
I don't dodge the subject, I give straightforward facts, and let it go at that. I fugure they know I did something, so I might as well give them factual info,rather than folks thinking I've got some grave illness, and that's what caused the weight loss.
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Most Active
Recent Topics
