The way people see fat people is so sad. Never realized I was this outta shape till today.

I just realized I am super out of shape for a young adult. Makes me sad. Healthy living here I come!! I hate having back problems and not being able to breathe after five minutes of doing something. I hate when guys I am interested in want to go on walks or love the outdoors and I have to make up an excuse because I can't get too far from my car just in case my back starts hurting. I hate that I can't do anything without sweating up a storm after 20 minutes and looking like I just got out of the shower or walked through a rainstorm.. I hate how I can't even power walk through the mall anymore because my legs start to feel like they are on fire. I hate how I can't go into stores like American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, Victoria Secret with friends or by myself without feeling like I am being stared down because they dont think I belong there and they know I can't buy anything, I hate going into restaurants and ordering food because I am sure the people around are thinking does she realize she doesn't need to eat that. I REALLY hate going into the mall and feeling like I am being treated differently because I am fat. I hate going to the club or going out with friends and watching everyone have a good time and feel like I am the ONLY one who doesn't get hit (except by gay men lol that happened the last time) I hate how I feel like I am 30 years older than I really am and the number one thing I absolutely positively can not stand about being an SMO young adult is going places with guys or being seen with a guy that is like a 15 and people looking at us like what the hell is HE doing with HER does he not realize she's like a 2 and he's a 10 lol. Sorry I had to vent. It makes me sad knowing that once upon time I was the people who was looking at women like what the hell does she got that I don't have he's hot she's horrid... and now I am that person. I NEVER thought I would 336 lbs at 20 years old with diabetes and other health problems. I really never thought I would be considering WLS to make me feel "normal." I had someone tell me today when I said I considered 350 as fat say that 160 maybe 170 was as the biggest their companion could be... I was APPALLED. I would LOOOVE to be 160 hell 170 sounds nice right about now too lol. I never realized that was considered as fat! Who the hell sees that as fat. What has happened to the world. So anywho sorry for the rambling and the ranting just needed to get this off my chest lol.
I will say this though I am so VERY THANKFUL I can have access to WLS and apparenlty having access to the DS at such a young age is a blessing in itself.  Much Love OH!!

This is generally the feeling we all had when we realized we couldn't, no, wouldn't do this anymore.

The point where we decided to stop accepting less.

I hate to say congrats but the truth is that we NEED to be at this point to go forward and be successful.

You are so very right. I guess finally seeing that I am considered different because of my weight has finally made me fed up with being fat and I don't want to do it anymore I don't want to go through my 20s being SMO and miss out on more of life. I missed out on my teenager years because of  my weight and how it afftected me mentally and physically. I WON'T miss out on my young adulthood because I was too scared to change. Like I told my dad when he was talking about not having surgery because he's worried that I might die. I told him I'd rather die knowing I tried to do something about my weight then know I died because I gave up.

 Intellectually I *knew* I was obsese I just didn't see it. I had friends, dated, was social ... I was just big. I weighed 309 at my highest and that was a bit of a wake-up call. I could see the numbers and buy the clothes that fit but it never really sunk in just how big I was.

I look at pictures of myself from that period and it truly startles me. I have no idea who that way. How on earth was I that big and not aware of it?

I was 32 when I had my surgery. At 20, I wasn't obese (just overweight!) and I wasn't ready mentally for surgery. It took me a long to get ready for it. I didn't want to work that hard!

But you are right .. I'd rather die trying than give up. Because if I give up I'm already dead.

 I know exactly what you are talking about. Throw in family members that wanted nothing to do with me because of my weight, and a childhood filled with diet pills, weigh loss plans and feeling invisible, and you pretty much have my life story. I think the thing that woke me up, was the other day ago I was at walmart with my 14 year old spending her gift card. A lady who was pretty over weight herself had the audacity to point and laugh at me while telling her friend if she ever got to my size she'd kill herself. I was floored! I so badly wanted to ask her to look in the mirror cause my size was just around the corner. To be honest I was so in shock I couldn't even think. 

I guess the one thing we can take from all of this is that when we are on the other side to stand up for those who aren't. I continually try and teach my children to be kind and loving and not judge or say hurtful things. We should do the same. 

I think you're ready, and have so much life to live.  I wish I had my DS that young (I was 35).

 There's definitely a lot of emotion packed into those pounds, but promise me you won't let it eat at you when you're losing.  People will treat you differently, and some people feel totally unprepared and awkward about it, while others respond with rage.  You need to realize that people are shallow without even meaning to be, and you cannot change them.  When they react to the new you emerging, just take it in stride, thank the compliments and use them as a catalyst to continue.  

i can relate, as can many of the women here.
my story is similar.
highschool & college athlete...then MO...what happened!? thyroid and genetics for the most part, my metabolism was shot...
didn't go out in public, stop seeing my friends and family. i think i was harder on myself than most people were on me. granted i was being judged because i was fat, it is a sad thing. i was 25 when i discovered the ds and had the surgery when i was 26, i am now 27 and 10 months post op. its the best thing i could have done for myself, i have my life back! the ds gave me so many things back including a healthy life and body. dont forget though the ds is truely work! you have to put your time in to get results and to stay healthy. if you can do that than the ds will keep giving and giving! good luck and you will find good support here!

Quite productive intorspection you've gone thru.  Very insightful for someone your age.  Congratulations and good luck!